


Pandemonium

by MurderInk



Category: Bleach
Genre: Alternate Universe - Demons, Hell, Ichiruki, M/M, hichiichi - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-12-14
Updated: 2016-08-07
Packaged: 2018-01-04 15:48:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 15
Words: 49,185
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1082855
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MurderInk/pseuds/MurderInk
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>HichiIchi. Everything changes with a simple poker game. Ichigo is not the type who hangs out in bars- he is a busy business man who wants to lead a perfect American life. So we have an workaholic. Now add a way too understanding girlfriend, a careless brother, past stalkers and finally the weird man next door. The result? It's more than you can think of.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Truth is, I started writing this 2 years ago or so. The first three chapters are complete shit and I understand if you feel confused or reluctant to continue reading more. 
> 
> All I can say in my defense is that back then I was a dumb kid who barely understood English (not that I am some genius now). I'll rewrite them eventually, but I have many other fanfics to take care of and it's going to take a while...
> 
> UPDATE: 8th August, 2016
> 
> Truth is I wrote this fanfic 3 years ago and it's all rather, hm, dodgy to say the very least. Most of the chapters are shit. Which is why they need editing. Even chapter 14, 15 are old as I never got around to post them on time. On fanfiction . not, the last update- namely the chapter Lies, Denial and Loyalty: Part 1- was on the 26th of November 2014.
> 
> Thank you for reading!
> 
> February 6th, 2015.

_“A great flame follows a little spark.”-Dante_

* * *

 

 **Location:** Unknown

 **Time:** Unknown

...

Dark red sun rays entered through the big windows, illuminating the throne room. Bizarre shadows were dancing on the white walls. Outside the wind was blowing gently making the rusty leaves swish slightly. The sky was bright red, as if it could burst in wild flames any second. The big red disc was grotesquely swallowed by the imposing hills, moving slowly. The throne room was almost sunk in those bloody rays, except the throne itself. It was hidden by the deadly rays that seeked revenge.The throne was big, carved in black marble. Its design was amazing, hundreds or maybe even thousands of mystical creature were carved in there. And, on a soft dark red pillow sat "The Master".

His eyes were gazing at the shadows on the wall, without blinking. His breath was steady, almost as if he weren't breathing at all. His thoughts were far away...

"Master" a voice echoed in the large room. "Master" he repeated.

"Yes?" The Master asked annoyed. If anything, he hated to be interrupted in the middle of thinking.

"The gates." it was all the servant said before he vanished.

The Master's eyes widened in surprise for a second, then narrowed dangerously. He grinned wildly then stood up.That was going to be fun.

* * *

_Two days ago_

He had a tall slim figure, the kind of silhouette which would make anyone turn their heads after. He wore a black suit and a white shirt. Mocha eyes glowed after the reading glasses he wore. . He had tanned skin and spiky orange hair. He was none other but Kurosaki Ichigo.

Everyone knew him, everyone adored him. Actually, he was the famous business man, who could handle everything. And besides, he was good-looking. His girlfriend was also beautiful and rich.They all thought he had a perfect life. So he thought. Only it wasn’t that way, but he was going to find out later.

Ichigo Kurosaki was typing frenetically at the laptop. The office’s door opens and a tall man enters. Ichigo lifts his gaze from the computer to welcome his visitor.

“Kon.” the orangette says simply and takes off his reading glasses.

“Yo, Ichi!” the other responds. “How’s it going? Still stuck with stupid projects?” Ichigo sighs in annoyance. “Anyway, I came here because I want you to come with me at a party tomorrow.”

“There’s no…” Ichigo started but Kon raised his finger, telling him it was useless to argue.

“I don’t wanna hear about it. You’ll come, that’s it. And no excuses, like you’re busy and shit like that. You’ve been working all time. When was the last time you did something fun?” he asked and the orangette stopped to think for a few moments. “See, if you can’t remember then it means it’s time to do it. So, tomorrow, at six I am going to pick you up. And, no matter what, do not wear a fucking suit.” He said threatening. “Got it, brother?” and he left the office.

Kon Kurosaki. His twin brother. The evil half, you could say. Unlike Ichigo, Kon was still brat even if they were both 22 years old. Kon didn’t enter the family business as he was way too reckless. Instead, he was an artist. He drew some of the most interesting things. Ichigo knew he stood no chance against his brother. When Kon wanted something he got it. In that case, he wanted Ichigo to go to a party.

_A day ago. Ichigo’s house._

The orangette was prepared to leave the house for the party. The door bell started to ring and he hurried to respond. Kon Kurosaki was ready to give him a brotherly hug but he stopped in the middle of it.

“What have I told you about clothes? No fucking suits tonight.” he rebuked the business man. “I knew you won’t listen. You never do, don’t you? That’s why I bought you some clothes.”

“They won’t fit me.” The other stated simply.

“Idiot. We are twins. If they fit me, they fit you. You’ve lost your brains or what? Now come on. Get changed. We don’t have time to argue over this.”

“I am not going to wear those. It’s not about the size, but the model. I don’t like it.” He pointed to the black tank top, the dark grey skinny jeans and the red plaid shirt Kon was holding.

“Why so, Ichigo? Is it because they remind you of high school? But, Ichigo, you cannot run forever, yanno? Whether you like it or not, you are wearing them. Being so stiff all the time…it just doesn’t suit you.” He explained and the other orangette sighed.

“Ok, but only for tonight.” Ichigo accepted grabbing the clothes

“That’s my boy.” Kon said happily and gave his brother a kiss on his cheek. Ichigo left the room to change. It was going to be a long, long night.

After they left Ichigo’s house with the business’s man car. He had a beautiful BMW Gina*. The party was held in the other part of the town, but Kon was a skilled driver. He knew all the shortcuts in New York, that freak. Let’s just say that he liked to live his life to the fullest.

The sun already set and they were running down the streets, under the golden streetlights. Kon shook the car around the corners, and usually Ichigo would have gotten dizzy, but that time, no. He felt the adrenaline rushing through his veins, his heart beating faster as they were crossing the down. Maybe he should go out often.

After a while, they arrived to Death and Company, were the party was being held. Kon parked the black car** in front of the bar and the two males got out of the dreamlike car. Girls, women and even men turned their head to stare at the two gorgeous twins. Some of them knew them knew they were the Kurosaki brothers, some of them thought they were some high schoolers seeking for trouble. Ichigo felt a little nervous, but Kon was all a smile. This was his world. He liked the sweat of the old buildings, or the yellow bike shop near Death + Company. And his grin was giving away how proud he was. After all, he convinced the great grumpy Ichigo to join him in his little night adventures.

They entered the bar and Ichigo gasped. He had no idea a place like that could exist in that calm area. He shrugged while his brother asked him if there was anything wrong. He, then, smiled. And Kon couldn’t help it but grin back. A tall man with spiky light blue hair patted Ichigo on the back and the orangette almost fell.

“Kon, it’s been a while, ya lil’ bastard.” The said man said and ruffled the business man’s hair.

“I-I am not Kon.” Ichigo said simply and shook off the dust from his clothes.

“Yeah, sure. And my name’s Damon, but guess what, it’s not. Now stop foolin’ around and follow me. The others have been waiting fer your lazy ass to come.” The other just ignored him and grabbed his hand. Ichigo looked back at his brother, but the damned bastard was nowhere to be found. They stopped near a table and the blue haired man shouted something like “I brought the goods.” Then he and the others laughed loudly.

“So, Kon, what took you so long to appear? Oh, don’t tell me, you fell asleep again, right?” another man, with black hair and toothy grin asked.

“Look, guys, I am not Kon, ok?” Ichigo tried to explain calmly and everyone threw him weird stares.

“That again. Kon…have you gone mad or what? We can have Szayel take a look at yer brain, but I don’t think you would like that.” The bluenette said.

“Boo!” another man scream behind the blue haired man’s back. “Grimmy, you lil’ idiot. You can’t even recognize me. I am disappointed. You would mistake me for my brother, you cheeky bastard.” Kon said and stuck out his tongue at the confused male.

“Yo-your brother?” Grimmjow shouted and everyone analyzed the twins. “I had no idea you had a brother. Not to mention a twin.” The others nodded.

“Well, anyway, this is Kurosaki Ichigo and he’ll be joining us tonight. Hope ya don’t mind.” Kon introduced his brother and the orangette scratched his head.

“Of course we don’t mind. Having you around is a pleasure, but two of you, this must be heaven.” The brunette said. “Anyway, my name’s Nnoitra Gilga, Nice ta meet ya, hun.”

“Yeah, nice to meet you…” the business man said.

“Now, Ichi, this is Grimmjow Jaegerjaques, who is the leader of a gang.” The artist said pointing at the bluenette. “And this is Szayel Aporro Granz, our genius doctor.” He continued pointing at a man with pink hair and all Ichigo could think was something like oh God! “And this is his brother, Yyldfordt.” He moved his gaze on a man who had blonde hair. At least he seemed normal. “This is Coyote Starrk, who’s always lazy.” He introduced the sleepy dark brown haired man. “This is Tesra Lindocruz, who is a doctor and this is Ulquiorra Schiffer who is a psychologist.” He pointed firstly at the blondine then at the brunette. “And the last one is Ggio Vega who is…well, he’ll tell you if you ask him.” Kon said and took a deep breath.

“Well, hi. Name’s Ichigo.” Was all he could say and he sat down near Kon. It was going to be a looong looong night.

The evening started smoothly, but after the midnight, things got rough. Ichigo integrated pretty fast and everyone seemed to like him. Even the always silent Ulquiorra, or the lazy Starrk.They decided to play a game of poker, but instead of money they had to fulfill a dare. The first game was lost by Grimmjow who was dared to try to kiss Ulquiorra. Of course, the psychologist refused and even hit the bluenette a few times, but in the end, Grimmjow succeeded by catching him with his guard off. The second one to lose was Tesra and he had to drink until he got drunk. Poor him. In the middle of the third game the bar owner came in and everyone froze.

Tall figure, brown hair and piercing brown eyes. He was wearing a white suit and a purple shirt. He analyzed Kon’s group for a few moments then he smiled.

“May I join?” he asked but it wasn’t actually a question, but a demand. Everyone nodded and he sat down near Ichigo. “My, my. What we have here. Kurosaki Ichigo and Kon.” He said in a full of charm voice. Ichigo froze. He…knew him? “Of course I know you. Who does not, after all?” the owner said as if he read his thoughts. “My name is Aizen Sosuke and I own this place.” He introduced himself and the males shook their hands. “And I love playing cards.” He smiled friendly, maybe too friendly.

The third game was lost by Kon and he was dared to dance with Ichigo, but the business man definitely refused. In the end they started to argue and forgot about it. The fourth game was won by Aizen and for Ichigo’s despair, he lost. Oh shit…

Aizen dared him nothing else, but to work for him for a week. A whole week! Ichigo wanted to refuse, of course, but he didn’t had the courage to do it. It was Aizen, after all, and even if he met him just a few minutes ago he felt uneasy around the brown haired man.

“You don’t have to worry about your business. I’ll take care of it. I have influence everywhere.” Aizen said and Ichigo nodded. Of course he had influence. Who would want to upset Aizen? He seemed to be the kind of man that would lock you up in a suitcase and send you to India if you don’t comply. “Good. Be here at 6 PM. And don’t forget to wear the uniform.” The man was a devil.

They played a few more games and Ichigo took care not to lose again. At one 1 AM they parted, but when Ichigo got outside, a strong hand grabbed his shoulder.

“You’ll call your company and say you are sick, right? Or then I’ll have to kidnap you. And, believe me, you might not like it.” Aizen whispered sensually in his ear then left.

* * *

****New York City, NY, United States** **

**Monday, August 13th,2012.  
5:50 PM**

His steps were as loud as if he were step dancing. His orange hair was shining brightly under the golden street lights. He was dressed in a white shirt, a black waistcoat and black skinny jeans. Ichigo felt nervous as he was heading to Death + Company. He used to work in a bar when he was younger, but those times were gone. Or so he liked to think. The fact that things from his past kept popping made him feel anxious, even though he despised to admit it.

Ichigo was taking a little walk since he left his car home. He knew very well that if he took it, he would have stood out way too much. He entered the bar and for some reason that night the loud rock music hit him. He looked around but it didn’t take long until he saw Aizen. He was waiting for him.

“I’m glad you could make it. What can I say? You have arrived even earlier. That’s expected from the great business man you are, tight?” the owner, then, showing him around. After the tour ended, Sosuke wished him good luck and Ichigo thanked him, thinking he’ll really need it.

You know, when you really think your life is perfect and nothing can change it, then it happens. Something wild like a spark, eerie and yet fascinating like a sunny winter day, or a rainy summer day happens and your world goes all crazy. What’s more fun, it’s that you can’t go back. Or shall I say that you don’t want to?

Kurosaki Ichigo was going to find out that life isn’t as simple as he wanted it to be.

**Monday, August 13th, 2012**  
****

**7:57 PM**

The sun was setting, fading slowly in the dark of night. The sky was getting darker and darker, engulfing the city. Everyone knows New York is a big city and that there was no way its activity was going to stop once the sun set. Gold and silver lights illuminated the endless streets of the city. Cars, lots of them, were crowding on the dark grey stripe called road. Most of them were passing wildly passing by the tall monstrous glass-skyscrapers. The noise they made was nightmarish, as if their engines were devil’s machines. Their howl swallowed the whole metropolis.

It would be a total chaos, if you were an outsider. On the top of a glass-skyscraper was standing a tall silhouette wearing a long cloak. His face was barely showing, as his head was covered with the dark fabric. His eyes were admiring the strange city he just arrived in. For him, that jungle, still new, was terrifying, yet beautiful.

“Mitsuketa!” he whispered against the wild wind, his words vanishing in a slight echo. He faded in the chaos of the city.

**To be continued...**


	2. Eyes on fire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ichigo has a nightmare. Also, Kon does something stupid.

_"Live to win, dare to fail"- Metallica_

* * *

 

 

Darkness was all around him. He stretched his arms in front of his eyes, yet he could not see them. He waved them, felt the way his muscles responded to his movements, yet he could hardly believe he still had them. The man had no idea where he was, or what he was doing there, or to be more precise what he was supposed to do in there. He sniffed the air and felt a musty smell, then he sneezed loudly.

 The man tapped the floor with his shoes and the beats echoed loudly. So the floor was probably made of marble. He was ready to move around when he heard it.

 “Twinkle, twinkle, little star” a low husky voice sung somewhere behind him making him paralyze. The voice echoed all around him and the man started to think he had been imagining things. “How I wonder what you are” it continued coming closer, making the man paralyze for real.

He knew he was not hearing things, yet his brain was too frozen to admit it. A loud bang came from behind him and his body turned automatically to see what happened. But only darkness surrounded him.

“Up above the world so high…” the voice sung further coming closer and closer or so the man thought. Above him, a small and low light was turned on. He moved his gaze to the ceiling only too see the small light that was swinging violently.

“Like a diamond in the sky” the man or thing continued and he could hear someone playing a piano. “When the blazing sun is gone when the nothing shines upon…” and the bulb above the man burst in pieces making him jolt. “Then you show your little light.” the being whispered now only a few steps separated them.

Or so the man thought. An orange flame burst in the thick darkness right in front of the man. His eyes could only see mocha pools staring at him in horror. The person had messy orange hair and his skin seemed pale. Then he realized he was staring at his own reflection.

“Twinkle, twinkle all the night.” the being laughed hysterically behind the orangette and he could feel the air heating. Sweat poured down his body as he refused to turn his head to look behind him.

“Then the traveler in the dark, thanks you for your little spark” it sung in dark voice tapping his fingers, probably, on something hard. “He could not see which way to go, if you did not twinkle so.” it took a deep breath and in the next second it stood right behind him, their bodies barely touching. “Shall I tell ya who I am, Ichi?” it asked.

Ichigo said nothing. Cocoa pools stared in the mirror at the thing that stood behind him. Ichigo decided that it could be a man since he saw no breasts, but he wasn’t sure about it. He or it wore a black cape and a hood covered half of his face. Even so, the orangette could his pale skin contrasting with the dark fabric. The man smelled like nothing Ichigo felt before. It was something spicy, fresh and in the same time delicate.

 Seeing that the orangette doesn’t respond he raised his hand revealing the same pale skin and black long, demon like nails. He gently grabbed his chin from behind and pressed himself against his back, sending cold shivers down Ichigo’s spine.

 “I am…” he said in a watery voice but Ichigo had fallen asleep by the time the being said. “Ya’ll come back. I know ya will. Ya also know ya will. Ya always do. Sooner or later.” he said as Ichigo woke up.

* * *

 

Ichigo jumped out of his bed and looked around. On his desk the clock was only 3:43 am. He cursed, but his senses were in alert. Mocha pools still searching around, he felt a cold breeze hitting his summary clothed body. The window was opened and the white curtain was moving ghost-like as the wind blow through the window. He could swear he had closed it before going to bed. He remembered exactly when he did it. He walked over it and closed it without hesitation. The orangette couldn’t help his curiosity though, and stared outside.

 It was a quite bright night; the full moon was shining in that sea of black. Yet the sky was starless. He frowned. How could that be possible when there were no clouds? He trembled confused and moved his gaze to the house next to his. All the lights were off, except of one. What made him run to his bathroom after his pills was that he remembered that no one lived in that house, yet someone was there, standing after the red curtains, as if he or she were looking at him.

 After he took his meds he lost no minute and went back to bed. He covered himself with his soft blanket, gripping one of his pillows tight, shutting his eyes so he could fall asleep faster. It was one of those nights when old nightmares haunted his mind, pulling him back to his horrible, not forgotten yet, past. Fortunately, after a few minutes he fell asleep and had no dreams.

* * *

 

A couple of hours later, the famous business man, Kurosaki Ichigo was bending over the counter, mocha pools scanning the dance floor at Death + Co. Usually there was no such thing as a dance floor in there, but for some unknown reason, Aizen decided to change that. So he transformed the bar into a frigging club. Ichigo wasn’t sure why, but if he gave it a second thought it was better for him not to know. Oh, a little he knew.

 It was already 1 am and Ichigo saw nothing really interesting. Of course there were some really sexy chicks, but those were taken, not to mention that he was taken as well. Her name was Kuchiki Rukia, a raven haired petite girl, with big violet eyes and long eyelashes. And despite her height and her innocent look, she was tough. She was Rukia Kuchiki after all, Ichigo’s girlfriend, but on top of that, her brother was pretty famous too.

 Byakuya Kuchiki was one of the hottest men in New York, if not all around the world. He resembled Rukia a lot, or should I say that she resembled him since he was the big brother. Even so, no one would ever want to mess up with him. He had enough money to buy half of the city. The Kuchiki family was an old one and no one messed up with them. It’s been like that since from the very start and no one dared to change it, until the phenomenon called Kurosaki, who dared to taint their royal blood. Long story.

 Ichigo couldn’t complain, he was rich and famous and hot as hell and he had a beautiful girlfriend. Even so, bending over the bar and scanning the room, deep inside him he knew that it wasn’t the life he wanted. He’d always wanted to live without having to think of tomorrow, without worrying that he might do something to ruin his image, he wanted to hang out with a tone of idiots in bars until the morning came and so on. He wanted to break free, but he refused to admit it, no matter what. After all he had to maintain family status… He’d given up on his own freedom long time ago.

 The music was loud, the beat was crazy and everyone shook their bodies seductively. Green and blue lights were occasionally illuminating the dance floor, thick smoke floated heavily, infiltrating in everyone’s clothes. But despite all this, Ichigo felt like something was missing, though he had no idea what exactly.

 His phone started to vibrate violently in his pocket. He pulled it out and looked at the screen. Kon was calling him again. It was the twentieth time already and he didn’t want to pick up, but he gave up in the end.

 “What?” he snapped frowning even more if that was possible.

 “Well, I was wondering if ya could come and ya know, hang out a lil’ bit.” the other almost sung and Ichigo sighed heavily.

 “You are drunk. Again. And that’s not a question.” the orangette stated and slammed his fists in the counter. “Where are you?” he asked in the end.

 “Ya comin’? Great. We are at Pyramid.” he said and laughed.

 “I will pick you up, idiot. Nothing more. And one more thing. Did you just say we?” a long pause installed between them. “Never mind.” he said and went put his leather jacket on. Just when he was ready to look after Aizen to ask permission the man appeared before his eyes. “I was wondering if…” Ichigo started a little embarrassed.

 “Of course, Kurosaki.” the man almost purred, his brown eyes almost glowing in delight, his lips were curled in a mysterious smile. “But only if you promise you will do something fun. If not, then you may not leave.” he smirked.

 “I…Ok.” he agreed. It scared the crap out of him when Aizen did that. Somehow that man knew everything. Scary. He make it through the crowd and when he exited the club the cold summer night air hit his well built body. He was wearing a black tank top, black skinny jeans, leather jacket and black boots. It was his “uniform” or so Aizen said.

 Reached outside he realized he had no idea where Pyramid is. He messaged his brother and he gave him the address. He called a taxi and the car arrived pretty fast. He got on and mumbled the address to the driver. For a few moments the driver measured him from head to toe then grinned. City lights were breaking through the car’s windows, coloring his face in orange.

 In the end, they arrived. Ichigo paid the driver and left the car without looking back. If only he knew what awaited him! He entered and loud music and thick smoke hit him. His eyes searched the room after his brother, but his blood froze in his veins when he realized. Pyramid was a bar for gays…OH.MY.GOD! When he was ready to leave, thinking he had mistaken the address a hand gripped him firmly from behind. He turned his head and saw his brother.

 And if that was not enough Kon grabbed his hips and breathed hot air on his twin neck. Ichigo was paralyzed, but his brother encouraged him to dance. With his brain totally frozen his desires took over him and his body was soon moving on the crazy beat. He had danced like he never had, he turned to face the other orangette, they grinned their hips against each other like crazy, Kon wrapped his hands around Ichigo’s neck while the other around his waist. They never broke the eye contact, yet none of them dared to lock his lips on the other’s. At least not yet. The two orangettes were sweating heavily, both of them seemed too drunk to care though. The gap between them was getting smaller and smaller every minute and in the end their faces were only two centimeters apart.

 Ichigo could smell his brother’s fresh scent and Kon could feel that Ichigo used cologne to hide his natural scent of strawberries. Kon tightened his grip wanting to press his lips against Ichi’s, and the business man sneaked his hands under Kon’s white t-shirt. Something inside Ichigo screamed that it was wrong, but he didn’t seem to hear his consciousness’ desperate calls. They were about to kiss when the music stopped interrupting them.

 “Tonight we are going to present you one of the sexiest man alive. His name is Hichigo Shirosaki also known as The Sin.” the dj said and everyone shouted in delight. He seemed pretty popular judging the other people in the bar.

 And the lights went off, the room was sunk in darkness for a few moments. The next moment red lights were on and a new wave of smoke slipped in the room. A tall silhouette appeared from nowhere as he was walking through the sinful light. His skin was as white as snow, while he ran his hand through his spiky ivory hair. He was wearing a black shirt, black skinny jeans tied with a chain, and, oh my, stilettos. Yes, you read the right thing. Stilettos.

 In the next moment the music started and Ichigo’s skin was on fire. It was one of his favorite song when he was younger, “Carpe Diem Baby”. All the orangette could think about was something like don’t-tell-me-he-is-gonna-dance-on-this.

 Shirosaki dropped on his parted knees and he practically ripped off the shirt’s buttons. He quickly licked his pale lips, revealing his blue tongue and for a second Ichigo thought he would like that tongue to lick HIM. A feral grin revealed his sharp white teeth. He got up, waving his hips sensually as he did it.

**Hit dirt, shake tree**  
 **Split sky, part sea**  
 **Strip smile, lose cool**  
 **Bleed the day and break the rule**  
 **Live to win, dare to fail**  
 **Eat the dirt and bite the nail**

Oh God, how seductively he swung his hips on the music as he teased the public with his shirt. This moment he seemed to pull it off, the next one he put it back. Ichigo could see those well-toned muscles as the albino moved around.

**Then make me miss you**  
 **Then make me miss you**

He finally threw his shirt away to the crowd, exactly on the carrot top’s head. Ichigo took it without taking his gaze away from the albino. Shirosaki, on the other hand, stared at him intensely. That’s when the orangette saw the albino’s eyes.

**So wash your face away with dirt**  
 **It don't feel good until it hurts**  
 **So take this world and shake it**  
 **Come squeeze and suck the day**  
 **Come carpe diem baby**

The albino had the most beautiful eyes Ichigo had seen. A sea of black satin surrounded gold pools that glimmered mysteriously. That wild spark seemed to awaken something deep inside the orangette.

**Draw lead, piss wine**  
 **Sink teeth, all mine**  
 **Stoke fire, break neck**  
 **Suffer through this, cheat on death**  
 **Hug the curve, lose the time**  
 **Tear the map and shoot the sign**

He sunk his sharp teeth in his pale index as his stare refused to drop. Ichigo felt his whole body on fire and he looked down, unable to face the pale bastard anymore. He wasn’t really sure whether the man looked at him or not, but he had lost his sanity the moment he entered the club, so there was no way for him to make a rational statement. All he could think about was the gorgeous man in front of him, nothing more.

 Long time ago he himself used to fool around dancing on that song when he thought no one was home. He loved the freedom he had back then, he loved the adrenaline that rushed through his veins while he did something forbidden. And after all the time when he suppressed his desires, his body still remembered that sensation. It was carved deep down his being. Doing something that he was not supposed to was the entire essence of his being.

 He had to admit that he wanted the man to take off his jeans, but for everyone’s disappointment he did not. What a shame. Ichigo thought. The dj explained that the albino was going to give a real show the following week and everyone cheered up, everyone including our straight, or not so straight anymore Ichigo.

 With the man’s shirt still on his hand he went to the bar to cool down his head a little, hoping that if he drunk something, he would forget about the sexy dancer. Kon followed him, even more dazzled. Ichigo commanded a weird blue cocktail while Kon couldn’t even keep his eyes opened properly.

 The business man took his first sip when reality started to hit him. But in vain, images of the pale male came back haunting his brain. He took the shirt to his face and buried his face on the fabric. It smelled like cinnamon, vanilla and something spicy, masculine. His stomach jolted while his heart started to beat faster, his head going numb. It was a sin to smell like that.

 He drank his cocktail silently thinking about the albino while his brother almost passed out. Somehow Kon’s weird friends popped out of nowhere and took those two home, although Ichigo had no idea what they were talking about. His sanity was lost somewhere far away from him. One thing he knew for sure. He was not going to let them take the shirt away from him. What and idiot.


	3. Red Curtains

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ichigo has another dream...

_"Then he sneaked himself inside only to remember his dreadful sins..."_

* * *

The air felt heavy, humid and a rather icy breeze hit his bare chest as he was rolling in white sheets. Strong arms gripped a huge pillow as cold sweat poured down his body. He was having another terrifying nightmare, in which the mysterious pale male whispered his name in a creepy low voice and if the orangette was honest to himself he would have admitted that he found that creature a bit to his liking. It wasn't the albino who scared him, but his low, watery voice, that seemed to know everything about him, that snake-like tongue that casually would whisper deadly sins in his ear. Ichigo was having those dreams since he was fourteen. He'd seen a couple of psychologists, yet none of them could actually stop the pale male. They gave him tons of pills but they didn't actually work. So, he pretended he was okay, and he gave up on his messy life style he had when he was seventeen. After that, Ichigo started to take care of the family business and gradually he'd stopped seeing the man. But his white demon was coming back and Ichigo could do nothing to stop him. This time it was different... the man seemed stronger than five years ago.

Cocoa eyes opened and a heavy headache hit him as he tried to get up. He looked around trying to remember the night before, but the more he thought about it, the heavier the headache became. He got out of the bed, still asleep, and closed the window. Outside was raining, dazzling flashes stroke the grey sky. The wind was blowing wildly making the trees bend dangerously. He went back to bed slipping under the comfortable white sheet and he closed his eyes. Ichigo took a deep breath trying to calm himself down after the nightmare he had but that's when his eyes shut open. A faint vanilla and cinnamon scent hit him and he remembered everything. From the strange gaze Aizen threw when he left from the black shirt the albino had. And after that?... After that what happened? Ichigo realized that he wasn't home but somewhere else... Holy shit!

He looked around again. Had he been kidnapped perhaps? No, that's stupid, no kidnapper would have been so kind to him. He got out of the bed intending to get out of the room. He opened the door and all he could see was a dark hallway. It reeked of cigarettes. He went forward although he could see anything through the thick darkness that lay ahead him. A creepy laughter echoed from downstairs. And there was music. He couldn't recognize the song, but somehow, it got into his system quickly. Ichigo went forward, not knowing where the path he had chosen would take him to. He wasn't even sure he was awake. He was more or less like a blind man trying to live his life through complete darkness.

Minutes passed and the man struggled through the darkness with small, unsure steps. Then, he saw it. Downstairs, there was a red light and a shadow. And suddenly he wasn't blind anymore. At that moment any doubt faded away and the only thing that seized his mind was the shadow that was dancing. He almost floated when he climbed down the stairs.

The room had no door, but a red curtain, probably a velvet veil, which covered the entrance, serving as a door. The silhouette was rather slim and had long hair. The person was dancing and oh, how sexy it was! She had such beautiful legs; long and firm. She wore stilettos and probably no clothes. That's when Ichigo started to pay more attention to the dancer.

She had no boobs.

Instead she had muscles.

And...

**Oh. My. God!**

Why is he always caught in those awkward situations, may we ask. Well, because he is Ichigo Kurosaki, our well-known unlucky man.

This little accident caught his attention. He would have liked to pull that curtain, to reveal the rather strange dancer. But his body stood there, in front of the room, not daring to check what was behind the red fabric. No, sir, he had to behave. He wasn't a damned teenager anymore, he could control himself. So he just stood there, in front of that dancer. Ichigo should have gone back to bed, but how could he when the man was so arousing? He sighed and touched his forehead tiredly, as if he were dealing with some real big trouble.

Why was he getting turned on by a bloody man?

He wasn't swinging that way, was he?

Cocoa eyes threw another quick gaze at the red fabric. For a moment, his heart skipped faster.

 _Oh, yes,_ he bloody was swinging that way.

Ichigo preferred men over women, that was the truth and it was no news for the business man. He's always been like that, only that he never admitted it. What did they call his type? Oh, yeah, something among 'still-in-the-closet'. Being openly gay wasn't a thing he could afford when he was who he was. He chuckled nervously remembering why he chose Rukia as his partner. "Well, the midget is pretty much of a tomboy in her heart, so this should be easy...right?" he thought before going after her. Rukia was a nice girl, but the only problem with her was that... oh well, she was a girl! And for a moment, Ichigo had the impression that his perfect life had never been perfect, but instead you could call it a perfect lie. He shook his head in disapproval not wanting to admit it.

"How long has it been since I've last been thinking about my disease?" he questioned himself in his mind. He tried his best to avoid the truth, to deny it all (and believe me, he was one hell of a 'denier'), but in the end it all crept back, didn't it? How foolish of him was to think he could run away like that! Disease. That's how he called his preference and that's how he had been seeing it. He tried his best to change his nature, he really did, but standing there, with that man sinfully dancing in front of him, bit by bit he realised it was useless.

He shook his head and tip-toed upstairs. It was no use admitting it, so he shouldn't do it.

The next day made its appearance sharply, waking the carrot top from his weird dream he would call nightmare later. The sun shined brightly, the birds chirped happily and his bedroom was clean and smelled fresh. Wait! His own bedroom?

He looked around, cocoa pools searching for an intruder or at least a clue, but nothing popped up. "Maybe it was only a dream," he thought. Yeah, that must have been it. But to make himself sure, he went to the kitchen and checked it as well.

"Hello? Is there anybody?" he asked for a several times. "Now this is getting stupid. Stop acting like an idiot and take a shower," he stomped out of his kitchen, feeling a bit annoyed.

**Three days later,**

**3 AM...**

Ichigo shuddered in pleasure. Oh, this was no it seemed that it wasn't a dream. The dancer really existed. He sighed as his cocoa pools stared through the window at the dancing shadow. A couple of days ago he had been awaken by a strange music and he went to check it. His new neighbour was a stripper, or something among the lines. And if that wasn't enough, his neighbour was the man with the long hair. The same red curtains that shielded him, the same crazy passionate rhythm. But Ichigo never saw his face. He still didn't understand how he got in his bedroom three days ago, but who cared about that? Oh, if only his neighbour knew he was actually touching himself while watching him dance! Ichigo wondered what kind of face would he make.

**New York City, NY, United States,**

**Saturday, August 18th, 2012**

**7:59 AM**

Another bloody morning. Another stupid call from his brother. Ichigo tossed his telephone to the ground, not caring that it might break. Kon had tried to get in touch with him since that morning after they have been at the Pyramid, but the business man refused to talk to him. "How could he lie to me?" Ichigo shook his head in disapproval. It didn't matter. It really didn't. He got out of his bed and decided it was time for him to take a shower.

The bathroom was filled with steam after only five minutes of him being there. Ichigo liked his showers hot. No, scratch that. He loved hot showers. They made him relax as nothing else did. Who would have thought his brother was gay too? Well, Ichigo wouldn't for sure. Life felt so stupid suddenly. He, a great business man, became a bartender for a week, because of a bet and he left his company in the hands of his good-for-nothing brother, who was gay on top of it. What happened to his perfect life? He sighed and suddenly he became insecure. What would he do if he could never get back his oh-so-perfect life?

He got out of the shower, wrapping a towel around his waist. Then, he heard it.

**KNOCK. KNOCK.**

Ichigo was sure it was his brother. "That bastard. He never gives up, does he?" Feeling already annoyed he actually stomped furiously to the door and opened it without checking who his guest was. Big mistake, Ichi-boy.

"Hiya, there!" Long pause. Then his visitor's pale lips curled in a rather devilish smirk. "Nice view ya got there..." he almost purred those words. White locks covered his black and gold eyes, his pale lips were licked by his blue tongue. No. THIS couldn't be. "I knew yer hot, but damn..." his low, watery voice echoed in the orangette's ears, who was on the verge of fainting.

"What are you d-doing here?" he whispered, mentally slapping himself for stuttering like a school girl. _"Get your shit together, Ichi. It's no time to fool around."_

"Shh! Poppet, it's ok," the albino grabbed his chin. "I'm yer neighbour, so I thought I had ta pay ya a visit. Sorry for bein' late," he said that but he didn't look sorry at all.

Wait! His neighbour? Then... was he the dancer? But how could he? The dancer had long hair, he didn't. The dancer was taller than him and he even seemed slimmer. So...did that meant that he didn't live alone? Ichigo was mentally comparing Hichigo Shirosaki, who apparently was his neighbour, to the mysterious dancer. Oh shit! They could be the same person, but they could be not.

"My neighbour?" Ichigo almost cried. _Did he find out I still have his shirt? Or even worse...does he know I saw him at Pyramid? Or much worse...does he know I'm spying his little show every night having totally impure thoughts?"_ Suddenly, the carrot top wanted to be swallowed by the ground, he wanted to disappear from that world.

"Yup, yer neighbour," Shirosaki almost chuckled. Ichigo couldn't think straight. Right in front of him stood the man who made him remember his preference, the man who sinfully snatched away his peaceful days and nights, especially those, the man whom he'd thought he would never see again. But there he was, only 10 or 15 centimeters parting them away. Close up, he looked even better and he smelled of mint. "'n' I thought we should celebrate. That's if yer not too busy, 'f course," he shot him another smirk.

"Me? Busy? Of course not!" Ichigo almost shouted. He was as excited as a kid who had just seen candies. Oh yeah, a big pale candy for Ichi-boy. Mentally, Ichigo smirked. What could possibly go wrong if he stayed around Shirosaki? What a wrong question that was. "Come in, come in. I'll go dress up," Ichigo stepped back inviting the pale male inside his house. He shot him another grin, a very wide one. Ichigo shuddered. "I'll be going to hell soon if I stay around him for too much," he mentally wailed. Oh if only he knew what those words meant!

After he put some clothes on, he went to see what Shirosaki was doing and he found the pale stripper in his living room, looking at his so-called-family-pictures with Rukia and him. Ichigo cleared his throat and Shirosaki almost jumped. It seemed that he was deep in thought. His neighbour smiled at him and pointed his index to the girl.

"Who's she?" Ichigo was surprised that the man didn't know about the big conflict between Kuchiki Byakuya and him.

"My girlfriend," he said in the end. Ichigo didn't know but he sounded disappointed. Shirosaki nodded and pretended he didn't notice the carrot top's tone.

"Then, let's go!" and both of them left the house.

It was going to be a long long day and Ichigo wasn't prepared for that.

**To be continued...**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Thank you a lot for beta-ing this chapter, SeveredDarkness from ff.net! I hope you guys will enjoy this. :3


	4. Golden string

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A visit to the museum

 

 

_"Sewed with golden strings are the lies of the past. One may try to cut them, but they are too tangled to be broken by an inexperienced hand. I knew I was doomed to fall for it the second I looked in those unearthly eyes."-E.B._

* * *

**Ichigo's POV:**

The sunlight that invaded my bedroom early in the morning was no longer shining brightly upon the huge city of New York, instead of that, thick grey clouds jammed on the blue sky dangerously, rolling into one another and the wind started to blow harshly. Strange, I couldn't recall the weatherman saying anything about rainy, windy weather the day before at the TV. Tossing that aside, I got into Shirosaki's car, a beautiful black Rolls-Royce Silver Shadow I, clad in beige leather in the interior, while it emanated an intense scent of cigarettes and musk.

I sat on the passenger seat, glad that I entered the car and escaped the merciless wind that howled through tall, imposing skyscrapers. Shirosaki followed me after his long, slim fingers pushed the car's door effortlessly in order to close it. If I had been a chick, I would have been flattered beyond belief, but given the circumstances, I wasn't. I assure you. As soon as he got into the car, he turned on the music and for some reason God chose to punish me with rock- the music genre that made my heart dance, if not head-bang. Kidding. I frowned deeply, but in the end decided not to ask him to change the music, so I leaned on the door and rested my head on my relatively cold palm.

"Bored, Ichi?" I immediately turned to face him, giving him one of my best glares. Seriously, why couldn't I get people to understand that I hated nicknames with a raging passion? "What?"

"Don't call me Ichi," I mumbled keeping my nasty stare, but instead of an apology, a loud, sickening laughter escaped his lips and he sped up, slaloming through cars like he had been doing that all his life. "What the flipping hell are you doing? Are you trying to get us arrested? Or even worse. Killed?" I asked, adrenaline rushing through my veins, thinking that I didn't even need my morning my morning coffee anymore because of him.

"Ye wish so!" his reply didn't make any sense and all I could do was hang on tight so I wouldn't hurt myself. This guy drove awfully, sloppy and like the devil himself was after us.

"Slow the fuck down!" I yelled thinking that maybe I could knock some sense into him. Naay.

"Yer no fun!" he argued and I felt the intense urge to punch him, but I refrained thinking it wouldn't be a great idea to punch the driver. He was going to pay for it later. The car stopped abruptly and for a second I thought I was going to learn how to fly through the window, but gladly my seatbelt prevented me from doing so. I will treasure seatbelts forever! "Fuckin' red!" he muttered glaring at the traffic lights.

"What's gotten into you?" I snapped, but he only chuckled at my sudden outburst. I was really starting to think this guy was either crazy or he was doing it on a purpose. Maybe it was his way of getting revenge for my having his shirt. "You're nuts," I informed him and he grinned at me.

"So I've been told," he stated and started driving again at the same speed. I really wanted to get off that car. I didn't believe in God nor did I believe in the devil, but right then I would have prayed to whoever was willing to listen to my prayers and do something to help me. I squeezed my eyes shut trying not to think about it. I didn't like the speed. I felt no need for it. I was a calm person…So then why was my heart beating so fast in my chest? Was I afraid? "We're here," he announced as he stopped the car.

"Where are we?" I asked puzzled since I didn't know that part of New York.

"I thought ya'd like ta go visit the museum. If ya don't feel like it, then we can go elsewhere. I heard they have a new exhibition, something about a painter 'n' it just sounded right ta take ya there," he explained and I found myself nodding. "Good," he said and grinned victoriously. For some reason this guy grinned a lot. Doesn't his face hurt for pulling that off so often?

"How did you know I like museums?" I asked as we were climbing up the stairs. He was a bit ahead of me and he turned to look at me with his black and golden eyes and I stopped walking. He was staring at me so intently I could practically hear the blood pumping through the smallest of my veins. It should be a crime to have eyes like that; it should be a sin to be able to captivate someone just by shamelessly staring at them. To say that I wasn't comfortable with the whole situation was an understatement. I absolutely mortified.

"Lucky guess," he said in a casual tone and turned his back at me. Great, now he thought I was a freak. But it was his fault for staring at me like that! I mean what straight guy would look at you like he's trying to pierce you with his fucking gaze? I followed him in silence and I suddenly realized that maybe it hadn't been too smart of me to agree with his crazy offer. Neighbour or not, he still could've been a psychopath.

The building was large and had many floors; I didn't even bother to count them. At the entrance we were greeted by the security guard who studied Shirosaki from head to toe and nodded lightly in his direction. We didn't stop at the cashier and I frowned, but I didn't ask any question. I don't think I wanted to know the answer anyway. The pale male had an imposing aura with his dark suit and dark red tie. His shiny black shoes echoed in the hallways of the almost empty museum.

He didn't seem fazed by it, expressionless and calm; he looked like a god who gracefully paced in his temple. A being that time seemed to forget, a being that didn't even spare a glance in the direction of humans. Immortal and as old as the world, he seemed to know every secret that could possibly exist. I followed him silently, but I couldn't shake the feeling that there was something off about it.

Shirosaki stopped in front of a painting and, because I wasn't really paying attention, I bumped into him. He caught me by my arm and helped me regain balance without saying a word. I mentally thanked him for not saying anything. I turned to look at the painting too, wondering what caught his attention in such a way to make him stop in front of it. Up until that moment, he'd been passing every single one of them.

The colours were dark and rich and they portrayed a man with sky blue eyes and shoulder length ebony hair. He wore a dark cloth, presumably a cloak, and underneath he wore an ocean blue shirt with delicate golden patterns sewed on its margins. He had long bony fingers and a massive ring with a sapphire rested on his middle finger. His skin was abnormally pale, as if made of paper; almost transparent. I swear I could distinguish small veins near his eerie eyes.

Those two blue orbs were so intense, the painting almost felt real. I even stepped back, slightly afraid that the man would just reach his hand out for me. One of his hands, the one with the ring, rested on his dark clad knee. The other one held a dark long can with the head of a wolf on top of it. He was sitting on a dark brown chair and the background was a dark green with golden shades. His lips were slightly curled into a smile, but his eyes were colder than ice.

"It's beautiful," I murmured not daring to speak louder in case the man in the painting decided to actually go for my throat.

"Ain't he?" he asked without looking at me and I turned my head to give him a confused stare. I clenched my jaw and said nothing. I don't know where he was getting at, but I didn't like the way he was asking- all knowledgeable and confident. Maybe I was reading too much into it, but somehow it didn't feel like that.

"Maybe," I said and he started walking again. I followed him throwing quick glances at each painting we passed. "Why is it so empty? It's not even too early and I thought that the new exhibition would attract more people?" I asked suddenly. Maybe I was being paranoid, but somehow it was oddly empty for such a day.

"The grand event was yesterday, actually. Now most of those who were interested are home or elsewhere. The exhibition lasts for three days in order ta grant those interested in such things time ta properly see it. Most of them went yesterday, but I ain't a man of crowds. I like ta have my privacy, yanno?" I nodded. At least this was a thing we could both agree on. We turned left and entered a large rooms filled with different paintings. There were so many! And it seemed that we weren't the only ones who decided to look at them. The other person turned around and I froze in place.

_"Kon?!"_ my voice trembled and he gave a sad smile, his brown eyes half closed. The faint rays of sunlight fell on him, making him look like a broken innocent ethereal being. Like a delicate dove who had an injured wing. I watched him from the shadow, where the sunlight didn't reach me with Shirosaki next to me. My eyes widened in surprise, but I didn't step further. "What are you doing here?" the words left my mouth in almost a whisper.

**To be continued…**


	5. White cat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shirosaki takes Ichigo to a restaurant.~

" _It is said that black cats bring misfortune and that they are actually either the Devil in disguise or a servant of the Devil. "-R.E._

* * *

 

**Ichigo's POV:**

"What are you doing here?" I managed to mumble. My feet refused to step further, they simply refused to go to him and…and what? He lied to me all those years, who knows what he might have hidden from me. Kon only kept his sad smile, his gaze never faltering.

"I can ask you the same thing," he said in calm, monotone voice his orange hair glowing in the sunlight. It was still clouded outside, but somehow the sunrays managed to pierce the thick grey clouds and invade the room in a sick manner. It was just too bright. "And I also see that you are not alone," he gestured to Shirosaki who stood next to me, in silence. I threw a quick glance at my companion to return my attention to my brother in the end. "And if I recall correctly he was there. You wa-"but he never had the chance to finish his sentence as my palm connected with his jaw suddenly, slapping him hard enough for him to turn the other way.

"Don't!" I warned him in a glacial tone and took a step back, in the dark. "Don't put me in the same category as you!" I said in a low voice. "I'm nothing like you," I said and turned my back to leave, unconsciously grabbing his hand in the process and dragging him out of the room. Allowing my brother to say it was out of question. I wasn't willing to hear it. Moreover I wasn't going to let Shirosaki know it. It was unnecessary and it would have made things awkward between us. "Sorry," I murmured after a while and let go of his hand. I hadn't even realized that I'd been holding his hand the entire time. We actually reached the upper floor. He waved his hand as if saying that it was nothing.

"I gather that ya don't get along with yer brother," he began. Frowning, I reached for my forehead to massage it; my head started to ache. I couldn't even say that I hated him- it would have been hypocritical of me to do so, after all I was gay too. I just hated to admit it. I couldn't allow an insignificant thing, like my sexuality, ruin my perfect life. I had worked too much to lose everything just because I couldn't keep it for myself. Plus, I didn't even know if I like guys that much…Maybe I was imagining it and I was actually straight.

_It was just a faze._

"Possibly. I don't even know anymore. We always had our little fights, but this time feels different," I confessed looking at my shoes.  _What should I do? I feel bad for treating him like that when in reality I completely understood him._  Maybe he had been as scared as me and that's why he never told me. Maybe he wasn't even gay and he just happened to end up in a gay bar. It could have happened. He was friends with those beasts- Grimmjow, Pink-Dude I-forgot-his-name-again and the others. What if that was what it had happened actually and I was the only one unmasked? What if my brother hated me for being gay and hanging out with the stripper? Was Shirosaki even the same guy? I mean he looked a lot like that guy, but still... And what if he told everyone about it? Sighing, I ruffled my hair exasperated. It was too much for me. Just too damn much.

"Ya seem pretty troubled by it. Care ta share?" his watery voice pulled me out of my reverie and soon I was met with a pair of black and gold eyes. Were those eyes even real? Did he wear contacts? I stared at him for a while as he stood before me, stopping our little useless walk. It was clear that I paid no attention to any of the paintings ever since I had stormed out of that room and he probably considered my actions rude. I couldn't blame him though. So I did what I was best at- I stared shamelessly at him, at his uncanny eyes and his unreadable expression. Was he worried about me or plainly curious? A bit of both maybe?

"It's…complicated," I managed to say in the end. I wasn't sure he knew I was at Pyramid a few nights ago and I certainly didn't feel like filling him in with that piece of information. If he had no idea, it was better. He raised an eyebrow at me, but he left it like that and said nothing. "I'm sorry though. It kind of ruined our appointment," I said.

"Nah, I think we can still have fun, if ya want, that is," he said and I frowned. What was he planning to do? "We can go to restaurant or somethin'. I'm kinda hungry actually," he explained as if he read my thoughts and I found myself nodding. Odd or not, suddenly my stomach started growling loudly. I sighed heavily, slightly embarrassed. "It seems yer hungry too. That's good." His pale lips curled in a sly, teasing grin and I felt like punching him for acting like such a douchebag. "Don't look so pissed, Ichi, it's nothin' ta be ashamed of- everyone's hungry at some point." Somehow his voice still held mockery in it, which actually fueled my anger.

"Don't be so cocky, bastard!" I said glaring at him, but he didn't seem affected by it as his grin never left his lips.

"Yer pretty cute when yer mad, yanno?" he asked and I think that by then I had a mortified expression. "Kiddin'," he added and stuck his tongue out and I scowled at him. "Ya are too tense. Ya need ta smile, Ichi," he said trying to pull my cheeks in a weak attempt to make me smile.

"Knock it off, idiot. I'm not some kid," I said brushing him off. "And I think I told you not to call me Ichi," I added and gave him another angry stare, which only caused him to laugh. "Quit laughing, dammit!" I yell frustrated as we exit the museum. Frankly, I don't even know when we reached the first floor, let alone exit the building, but oh well…

"Yer hilarious," he pointed out after regaining his breath. "But ya really should smile more. I've never seen ya smile, Ichi, and that's a shame." Judging from his tone, I couldn't tell whether he was serious or not. His face didn't betray anything either. So I did what I knew best.

"My name's Ichigo." And that meant avoiding the situation. "Please try calling me by name, not some nickname you come up with," I added and he grimaced, but didn't argue further. Good, maybe he had finally understood.

We got in his car and as soon as I had my seatbelt on, I squeezed my eyes shut and waited for the worst. Sure, Shirosaki started laughing at my reaction, like the idiot he is, but I didn't comment it. I wanted to get faster with it.

"Where do ya want ta go? I know a nice restaurant, but it's a bit too far so ya choose," he said and I opened my eyes to look at him with disbelief. Was he actually letting me choose? Did he actually care that I couldn't stand his bat-shit crazy driving skills or was he just polite? Did he even know how to be polite or what was his problem actually? One second he was almost a gentleman, the next he acted like an insufferable idiot with an ego a tad bit too big for his own good. "I know yer not exactly fond of my driving skills, so I'm letting ya pick. But hurry up, 'cuz if ya don't, I might do it my way after all," he said. Again, had he been reading my mind or was I  _that_ obvious? I don't even know which is worse.

"Do ya know where  _Le Chat Blanc_ is? It's not far from here and they actually serve good food. I'd recommend the chicken soup, but whatever floats your boat," I said hoping he knew where it was; I was a bit too lazy to start giving him directions. Luckily for me, he nodded and we took off. He still drove at an insane speed and he kept slaloming between cars, but we miraculously got there alive and in one piece.

_Le Chat Blanc was_  placed at the ground floor of a large blue building with other three floors. It had its name written with huge handwritten-like silver letters. I don't know for sure if the letters are actually made of silver, but I highly doubt it. Who'd be as nuts as to do such a thing? The restaurant has big windows and delicate white tables displayed in front of it where most of the costumers chose to enjoy their meals. The place wasn't crowded, but it wasn't empty either, so a low murmur could be heard as we stopped in front of the opened glass door.

"Outside or inside?" he asked me.

"Inside would be fine," I said and he entered while I followed him quietly. A woman, with orange locks and round grey eyes wearing a white shirt and a knee-length skirt, came towards us and she immediately gave us a warm, but shy smile.

"Hello, gentlemen! A table for two?" she asked, her voice was very feminine while she batted her long eyelashes in my direction. Shirosaki told her 'yes' and she nodded. "Follow me then," she said throwing a quick glance in my direction before turning her back to lead the way. We followed in silence as she took us to our soon to be table.

The place was almost empty, probably because people preferred to spend their time outside rather than inside, but I was sick of the blue sky and the bright sun. Somehow, all the clouds from before had faded and now the weather was all warm and sunny and, in my opinion, miserable. "Here," she said stopping in front of a table with two seats. She hands us two menus and leaves. But not before staring at me a little bit.  _Don't tell me she is flirting with me!_ I thought almost screaming in my head. Could that day go any weirder than that? Please say no.

"Quite a piece ain't she?" she asks as I try to figure out what to eat. I frown.

"I don't care. I'm taken," I said as quickly as I could, maybe a bit too fast.

"Someone's bein' faithful, aren't ya?" he asked and I raised an eyebrow at him. What did he mean by that? Was he simply mocking me because he wasn't the committed kind of guy or was he trying to tell me that he knew of my little escapade at Pyramid? That was a dangerous situation- regarding my reactions and my answers he could easily understand certain things even I wasn't willing to accept even to myself. So I shrugged, trying not to be fazed by his ill interest in my private life. And luckily he didn't press it further, which I was grateful for. "I'll stick with the spaghetti 'n' a glass of red wine," he announces me changing the subject in an obvious way, but still with rather some tact.

"I think that two chicken legs and mashed potatoes would do," I said closing the menu. Right then, the girl with orange hair came to take our orders. When I ordered mine, Shirosaki gave me a confused look and I could help but ask him. "What's wrong?"

"No drink?" he asked rather…disappointed? Why was he disappointed? Was he planning on getting me drunk or did he simply want me to have a drink with him? Was I rude not to order something to drink? "Not even a lil' glass of white wine?"

"Fine," I agreed in the end and the girl, which I presumed was named Orihime as her name tag said, left.

Shifting my gaze from Shirosaki's dark eyes, I looked around to study my surroundings better. I knew the place like the back of my palm, but it served as an excuse not to look at him. What was his deal? Shirosaki was wearing an expensive suit and shiny shoes and he seemed to know what kind of wine tasted better although it had a big price. He owned a fucking Rolls-Royce for God's sake! He was, without a doubt, rich. So, then, why was he a stripper? There were too many questions without answers and I wasn't willing to ask him. I was willing to give myself away and admit…admit what? I didn't even know that. I was confused beyond belief and suddenly a glass of wine really sounded like a marvelous idea. 

_Thanks, Shirosaki, although you don't know it, but I am grateful for what you did._

In the end, after a huge awkward silence, Orihime decided to end my misery and came with our orders. Our plates were big and full and I don't know about him, but I was really hungry so I started eating on the spot without paying attention to him. After I ate half of my meal, I stopped and threw a quick glance at the pale male, hoping he wouldn't notice, but he was already staring intently at me. With my fingers, I gently touched my cheeks trying to figure out if I had something on my face. It seemed to be clean so then why was he staring at me like that?

Shirosaki was beautiful. I don't know if I can actually explain this so you will understand, but he stood there, on the other side of the white table with half of his spaghetti eaten and his glass full of ruby liquid, he stood there fixing me with those eyes that couldn't seem to give me some peace and he was not smiling. He seemed content, but not really. I couldn't even tell if he were sad or just lost in thought, but the way his white locks stuck in all directions and the way he gracefully picked his food with the fork made me think he was unearthly. He was a man of so many contradictions. I knew I shouldn't, but I wanted to know more about him. I wanted to know what was lying under all that mask of tomfoolery combined with good manners and graceful movements.

In the end, I returned to stare at my food and after we finished, he insisted on paying although I didn't agree with it- I was wealthy enough to pay for myself, why did he treat me like a girl?

_Why did it feel more like a date?_

**To be continued…**


	6. The mistake

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ichigo is being dumb and paranoid.

 

 

" _And then the sun disappeared…"-R.E._

* * *

**Ichigo's POV:**

As I was stepping out of his car, a slightly cold wind hit me. How unusual, the sky is grey again, but I guess summer is to blame. We all know that in summer the weather is really changeable, but this seemed a bit too much. Putting that aside, I was really grateful that Shirosaki refrained from driving like a squirrel on cocaine and that I didn't have to barf because of it. I mentally thanked him, my pride wouldn't have allowed me to say it out loud and stay alive afterwards.

"Umm…anyway, thanks for…uh…today," I almost mumbled and I hoped that he understood that I was silently thanking him for the gentle ride too. He gave me one of his oh-look-I-am-up-to-no-good grins and I mentally face palmed for even considering thanking him.

"No problem, Ichi," and there he goes again. "We can do this some other time, if it's ok with ya," he added and patted the top of his car. " _It's not ok with me,"_  I wanted to say, but I didn't. I just nodded and turned my back at him.

"See you later, Shirosaki!" I said before entering my house.

"Later, Ichi!" I rolled my eyes and closed the door. Kicking my shoes, I sighed heavily before I started to undress. After finally discarding my clothes I went to check my phone for any messages and I found that I had, indeed, been called.

_Hello, Ichigo! I hope you are fine. I've been informed that you let your brother take over for a couple of days and I must confess that it worries me. Renji told me that you were sick and needed a vacation, but is that really true? Please call me when you come back home and do something about your cellphone! I've been trying to contact you for quite a while already!_

And that was all. Rukia seemed rather pissed off and I couldn't help but sigh. She had every right to be mad for my not picking up my phone. After all, I conveniently dropped it in the toilet this morning. I thought that a break would be really good. You see, I didn't drop it on a purpose, it just sort of happened. It's true that I haven't even tried to buy another one, but oh well… I was tired of people calling me, demanding things in the middle of the night or day. And I didn't want to talk to Kon either.

Rukia was gone with the judo club in Tibet for God knows how long. She was good at martial arts and at kendo too and many parents sent their kids to be taught by her, although she accepted adults too. And she'd been away for almost two weeks already. I was fine with that, even though I missed her a little. I wasn't head over heels for her, but I wasn't a cold bastard either. She was a good girl, she really was…it's just that I couldn't bring myself to be all sulky. Because I wasn't. I didn't feel the need to be with her 24/7, but I guess that's normal. Everyone needs some space; we weren't in some teenage drama where we couldn't live if we weren't joined at the hip, in a metaphorical way. Yeah, that was it. I didn't feel like calling her back, but I did anyway. I wouldn't want to put up with her worried-angry motherly way if I did otherwise.

"Umm…Rukia?" I asked after someone picked up.

" _Oh, Ichigo... How's it going_?" she asked. She seemed a bit tired, judging from her heavy sigh at the end of the sentence.

"Good. I'm good. Sorry for worrying you. There's nothing much happening. I feel a bit sick, that's all," I lied. But it wasn't actually a lie. My preference was a sickness, that's what my father always said. So having it remembered and starting to act on it unconsciously wasn't good at all. I was sick. Not the kind of sick she thought, but sick nonetheless.

" _Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. What's that it hurts_?" now she was worried. I could tell. And I felt like a jerk, because I couldn't tell her the truth. A pang of sorrow stabbed me right in the heart and I looked at my shoes, ashamed of myself.

"My head aches. And my stomach isn't really helping either," I lied. I hoped she bought my big fat lie, I really did.

" _I see,"_ silence. Did she know? Did she know that I just lied to her just like that? " _It can't be helped then. Try seeing a doctor. I promise he won't eat you. I can actually recommend you a quite skilled one,"_ she offered, but I was going to decline. I was healthy as damn, I only had problems with my weird brain or whatever made me want to have a guy pressed against me while his hands were tou- Bad, Ichigo, bad! Don't think about it.  _"And I am not taking no as an answer,"_ and with that she hung up. Shit. I tried calling her back, but the line was busy. I was in deep shit. Maybe it was time for me to run away from home for a few days. Yes, it sounded like a plan.

Sighing heavily, I ran a hand through my orange locks and decided that a shower would be the best thing to do at the moment. Boy, I sighed a lot in the past few days! I was literally screwed and I had to move fast, but I couldn't afford missing a quick shower. Who knows, I might get a brilliant idea. So after I took a soft towel from the drawer, I headed for the bathroom where I was going to have a steamy shower with mint soap.

Knowing Rukia she would send the said doctor home, just to make sure that I got examined by a specialist and don't die in the house all alone to be discovered two or three weeks later when she returns. I couldn't say that I didn't understand her fears, only that I wasn't sick. Well, not really. Where should I go? I could have gone to Renji, my assistant, but the idiot was best friends with Rukia since ever and that was out of question. Kon was out of question too- he probably hated me with a burning passion.

It was that moment that I realized that I didn't really have friends or so to say. All the people I knew, they were either persons from work or Rukia's friends. Or my brother's beast-friends, if that's a word. All the people I used to consider friends in my teenage years were nowhere to be found. I had abandoned that life. I wasn't a punk kid anymore, because I wasn't a kid. I grew up and I needed to be responsible. Just not that time. That time, I had to run away from home in order to avoid the doctor.

" _Childish, I know, but imagine, how would it be to have Rukia find out the truth? I can never look her in the eye again,"_ I thought. It would have gotten me in trouble, but I could invent something…like how the neighbour needed help with the furniture and whatnot. Speaking of the neighbour, I could say that I had turned on the well-known bulb above my head. It was brilliant! I could actually go to Shirosaki! He didn't know Rukia and she didn't know him. So he couldn't betray me and tell her where I was and my current state. Oh, God bless the new neighbour!

Rushing out of the shower at an incredible speed, I grabbed the first clothes that I could, put them on and storm out of the house before any unwelcomed doc could come. In the next minute, I found myself shamelessly knocking at his bloody door waiting for him to answer.  _What is taking him so long? Please be home! Please be home! Please be ho-_

"Yes?" he says as he opened the door. Then, his inverted eyes widen in surprise and he cocks an eyebrow in a suspicious manner.

"Please, let me in. I'll explain later, just let me in," I whined and waved my hands in a frantically way. What if the doc came and found me? He stepped aside and I bolted in his house as fast as I could. "Turn off the lights, please!" I begged and he did as he was told, although a little hesitant at first. I exhaled relieved.

"Is the police after ya or what?" he said and I put my fingers on his lips immediately to shut him up.

"Not quite, but almost. Let's go upstairs," I whisper and he surprisingly nods without fighting me at all. I follow him through the dark and I tug his shirt as I climb up the stairs since I couldn't see anything. Already upstairs, we entered a room and after he closed the door I let go of his shirt, freeing him.

He lightened up a candle and I could actually take my surroundings in. The room wasn't too large, but it was almost empty; a king sized bed with red sheets, a table by the window and a small mahogany drawer in the corner of the room. Shirosaki was wearing a black shirt, the first two buttons left unbuttoned and I hated him for doing that as well as I hated myself for noticing it, and dark trousers.

"Ya can sit on the bed, if ya want," he said pointing at the bed. " _Don't even go there!"_ I mentally warned him, but he didn't seem to get it or care about it. "It ain't goin' ta bite, yanno," he chuckled at my probably mortified expression. Giving up, I sat on the bed awkwardly and Shirosaki sat on the chair near the table. I could tell, by the way he looked at me, that he was curious. Who wouldn't have been?

"My girlfriend has been informed that I let my brother take my place for a while. It all started in an evening that I had been dragged by my bro at Death + Co. I lost a bet and had to work for a week as a bartender. But she knows that I am sick and I also fueled the lie and she got worried and sent me a doctor. I was an idiot, now I realize, I could've told her the truth," I sighed. But I was so absorbed by the whole 'gay thing' that I forgot that I could've told her about the bet. I dug my own grave. "God, I'm screwed," I sighed and landed on my back.

"I see. Well, it can't be helped. If ya want, ya can stay at my place for a couple of days," he offered and I immediately shot up to look at him to confirm if he meant it. "I mean it," he added, yet again doing the 'mind thing'.

"If it's ok with you…" I didn't mean to intrude, I really didn't, but I was in deep shit and I needed to stay low for a while. I had no one and he seemed the best hideout ever, even if he were a few steps away from my place.

"Don't worry, Ichi, I understand. Ya just need some space, I can tell. Feel free ta stay as long as ya like," he said. "Ya can have this room, if ye wan." I nodded. "Good. If ya need anything, ya tell me. I'm gonna take a shower," and with that he exited the room, leaving me alone with my thoughts. 

_Can things go worse?_

**To be continued...**

 


	7. Cold

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys get an unwanted visitor. Also, it's movie night!

" _Sometimes, you have to look deeper to see that a person is more than it meets to the eye…"-R.E._

* * *

 

**Ichigo's POV:**

Sitting with my back pressed against the soft mattress, I couldn't help but think about what I had just done and how foolish I could be. In my desperation to hide my recent thoughts, I completely ignored the fact that I could tell her that I was forced to work for Aizen for a week. Sighing, I closed my eyes and pondered.  _What made me forget about my preference?_ It was not something one could simply ignore for years, it wasn't and I wondered how I'd managed to do it. How I had managed to forget. And why did I remember it all of sudden? It couldn't have been just because Kon made me enter the open doors of Pyramid could it? But what if that was exactly the reason?

And more importantly,  _who else knew?_  Who else was in possession of my well-hidden secret? Did t that person represent a threat for me? Maybe I should have talked to Kon. Maybe I should reconsider my actions. Sure, the Rukia part, the doctor case, couldn't be helped. I already chose a path and, unfortunately, I didn't see a way out of it. Of course, I could tell her the whole truth, but that meant sacrificing absolutely everything and accepting it all. That wasn't something I could comprehend and my mind refused the idea on an instant. Or I could give her half of the truth and tell her about the bet and the bet only. But then how could I explain to her why I lied? Simply, I could explain by telling her that I was ashamed of my careless thinking, that I let myself be dragged in that mess in the first place. I could tell her that I didn't want her to think of me as an idiot. But that also meant that I admitted that I was an idiot. Not only that, but I would also taint the mental image she had about me. She needed to think I was a responsible man, so she would never suspect me of anything. So I had to keep lying. It was the only option I had, if I wanted to keep my perfect life.

As I was opening the door to my new bedroom, I could hear noise coming from downstairs. I could hear voices, to be more precise. So I stopped myself in the middle of it and listened carefully.

"What can I do fer ya?" unmistakably, that was the voice of my host, the pale male named Shirosaki Hichigo, the pole dancer.

"I am looking for Ichigo Kurosaki, the man who lives next door. Do you have any idea where he might be?" a masculine voice sounded from downstairs and I assumed the man was standing in front of Shirosaki's door.

"No clue, buddy," he had a relaxed, careless tone. But who's askin'?"

"A friend. If you see him, tell him that Urahara Kisuke is looking for him," and with that the door closed. Urahara Kisuke? He was one of my clients! Panic started to build in me and I couldn't help but think what he could possibly want from to come all the way from Japan to talk to me!

"Ya can come out now, yanno?" he shouted from downstairs. I didn't know how he had known about my eavesdropping, but I abandoned my post and went downstairs to be met by a curious Shirosaki. "Urahara Kisuke's looking fer ya, but I think ya already know that," he added as soon as I stood in front of him. "Is he the guy yer running from?" I shook my head.

"Not at all. We work together and I didn't even know he was in New York," I explained. "I can't fathom what he can possibly be doing here." I felt useless and clueless and I didn't like losing control over the situation. "In fact, I was expecting a doctor sent by my girlfriend who is in Tibet, but worried sick about me," I confessed and Shirosaki's white eyebrows united in a frown.

"I don't get it," he admitted after a few seconds of silence.

"Somewhere about last week I lost a game of poker and ever since then I have been working as a bartender. I let my twin in charge with the company saying I was ill and Rukia found out. What she doesn't know, is the poker part. I'm a serious man, I don't hang out in clubs and I  **definitely** don't play poker. But that was my brother's doing, he dragged me out of the house. The problem is that Rukia called and I was as uninspired as to tell her that I was, indeed, ill and now she probably telephoned a doctor and sent him to my place," I explained and I wondered how much he understood of my rambling.

"I see," he said. "Well, feel free ta stay here fer as long as ya like," and with that he went in the living room. Wondering if it was ok for me to follow him, I still followed him and sat on the sofa, leaving a healthy distance between us. He didn't seem to mind, as he said nothing. "Wanna watch a movie? I think they have Thor tonight. I've seen it plenty of times, but the Thor dude's so  _fabulouso,_  I can't help it but watch it again," he grins by the end of his little rant and I shrug.

"Sure, but I am more of a Loki person," I added still looking at the expensive TV he owned while Shirosaki's pale thumb pressed the button, shuffling across the channels. With the corner of my eyes, I could see him turning to stare at me and immediately, I did the same.

"Why would ya like that guy? He's the bad one," he frowned demanding an explanation.

"Exactly," I said, but he kept looking at me and I gave in. "He doesn't mean to be bad. He's angry at the world for being unfair to him. And he's also angry at his parents for lying to him. He seeks revenge; he thinks if he does that, he'll feel at peace. Sure, he's wrong, but he's also confused and when you're confused you tend to do stupid things."

"So…ya pity him?" he asked unsure of where I was getting at.

"Not at all. Most likely, I understand him," I corrected him and his beautiful black and gold eyes widened in surprise. "And it fascinates me, because I can relate," I added and turned my eyes to the screen. It was too dangerous to look at him.

"Were ya adopted?" he asked all of sudden after minutes of silence.

"What?! No!" I said laughing. "I am not an orphan, I just…how to put this…I am more attracted to persons who have been through a lot, than to those who have it easy and are a happy-go-lucky ray of fucking sunshine. Those I can understand. Bright and optimistic ones, I can't."

"Heh, I see," his tone suddenly changed and I couldn't place it. He seemed a bit lost in thought or maybe sad. "I like Thor because he is bright, strong and, although, his brother has done so many bad things, he isn't abandoning him. He isn't blaming him. He still cares and he'll probably always do. His affection is genuine and he is devoted," he explained and I was amazed by his explanation. I had never thought of that. "He's something I'll never be and I admire him," his voice was so soft that he sounded strangled by his own words. At that I turned to look at him, but his golden orbs weren't looking at me, instead he seemed to be staring at the floor with an unreadable expression. I couldn't tell if he were sad or sorrowful or whatever. I put my arms around his shoulder, concerned by his sudden change of attitude and he turned his head slightly to look at me. And what I saw shocked me.

Of all expression I had witnessed ever since I laid eyes on him. I'd seen him looking at me with curiosity, with eyes that expressed that he was having fun, with eyes that held no apparent emotion, he'd look at me with indifference, but never with  **sorrow**. I could see straight in his soul, I could immediately felt his sorrow and the intensity of it, almost burnt me. Ever since I was little I could tell what the other person felt just by looking at their eyes. He was no exception. But what could have he possibly done to have eyes like that? I had seen sad persons before, but nothing like him. So I gripped his black shirt tight, silently telling him that I understood. That I could see the regret in his eyes. He rested his forehead on mine, slowly closing his eyes, but startling me. Something inside me screamed at me to get the hell away from him, that he was, indeed, dangerous, but I didn't pull away. We stood there, his soft skin brushing against my forehead, our noses barely touching, our breaths were intertwined and our lips were centimetres apart. I closed my eyes too, his alabaster skin losing its colour, transforming in a source of coldness. His skin was cold, extremely cold for a living being, but I didn't pull away

Outside, the sky was probably changing shades of orange and red, the huge hot red disk slowly going down to rest, gradually leaving Shirosaki's living-room in darkness. Summer was running out of time.

**To be continued…**


	8. Marble statue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Movie night canceled. Ichigo has to go to work where he'll have an interesting conversation~

" _This man is so unreal! He must be made of marble and deathly magic…"-E.B._

* * *

 

**Ichigo's POV:**

As darkness was falling upon us, I couldn't help but notice how the air in the room changed. At first it was almost imperceptible, but as minutes passed and none of us moved, the feeling kept nagging the back of my mind until it made a home of my thoughts. I felt like someone was watching us. Maybe I was overreacting, overanalyzing or over- _something_ \- the feeling wasn't going away no matter how many times I tried to push it away.

" _It's getting dark…"_  I managed to whisper in a strangled tone, after all. Having opened my eyes, I could barely distinguish his pale features- he was impossibly close. The next second, though, I was met by a pair of quaint eyes. He pulled away, the coldness of his forehead leaving me, apparently. I couldn't tell the difference; to me the room was filled with cold uneasy air. Maybe I was being paranoid. All Shirosaki did to answer my statement was nod slightly, his eyes looking somewhere past me. Could he possibly feel it too? "Oh, this reminds me…I should be going to Death+Co," I suddenly remembered and I stood up to leave.

"Oh," was all he said, rising in his feet as well. Making my way to the front door, I realized that Shirosaki was following me. Having opened the door, I turned to look at him and he was fixing me with a blank stare. "Umm… thanks for covering up for me, Shirosaki."

"It's ok," he brushed it off as if it had been nothing. "You will come back, right?" he asked quickly and I raised my eyebrows in amazement. He was asking me to drop by?

"Uhh…I guess," I mumbled and with that I was gone.

This is another night at Death + Co. The bar is full of people, from fresh, young girls to rich old men and I am not having it easy. Sure, this place is quite packed all the time, but now it seems a bit too much. Either this or my mind just can't keep up anymore. As far as I hate admitting it, this might be the real reason. Let's get honest. The past week has been confusing. I've went drinking with my brother and ended up working as a bartender for Aizen no less. I went to Pyramid to rescue my brother from who knows what and ended up staring at a guy stripping. I chose to drown my phone in the toilet to prevent my brother from calling and I ended up having Rukia worried. I got stuck with my neighbour who might be or not a stripper with really fine tastes. This is fucked up and the more I think about it, the more obvious it is that my brother keeps popping up and not in a good way. And I can't help but be a bit ticked because of it. Why can't he leave me alone? Why does he have to torment me like this? Can't he simply accept that I am different, that I've grown up and that I want to have a peaceful, beautiful life? He is my brother, isn't he supposed to want what's the best for me?

"Yo, Kurosaki!" a voice calls snapping me out of my thoughts. I raise my eyes from the glass I've been cleaning. "Ya've been cleaning that glass forever, it shines brighter than the fucking sun," Grimmjow states as he sits at the bar. I roll my eyes unimpressed and put the glass down.

"What do you want, Grimmjow?" I snarl at him and his lips curl in a slight grin. I don't know this guy, but he so pisses me off. I mean, what did I ever do to him to cause him to be such a jerk to me?

"A Jackie would do, pal." Nodding, I turn my back to search for the bottle of Jack Daniel's. "No. 7 Tennessee," he added and I started looking after it harder. Where the blue hell could it be? "It's right under your nose, Kurosaki." Judging from his tone, he is getting impatient. Great, it is really what I needed. Mhm, sure thing. Spotting it, I take it and pour some of it in a glass and add two cubes of ice. "Thanks," he says as he takes it in his hand. And with that I am back to cleaning around. "Yanno, it ain't my business, but you are terribly quiet. What's bugging you?" I frown at him. "Not that I care or anything, just wandering," he mutters before taking a sip of his drink. I scoff.  _It would be creepy if you cared, asshole._

"It's nothing. Just tired," I try to brush it off, but he isn't buying it. He rises to his feet, bends over the counter and suddenly his face is awfully close to mine. His blue eyes are narrowed slightly and they are begging to bore holes through my skull and probably through my soul too, if I don't pull away faster. But his deep stare is also planting my feet on the ground and soon I am finding myself glued to the floor, unable to make a move to get away from him. Forcefully, that's the way he is looking at me as if trying to pour his warnings in my head in a non-verbal manner.

"Look, kid. I don't like you nor do I care about you, but you've done something that I don't like it at all," he whispers in a harsh, threatening voice. "Kon is a good friend of mine and I've seen that kid rise and fall many times, but never like this. You did something to him and I can't allow it. He's your twin, for Pete's sake! Shouldn't you care?" he raises his voice slightly at the end and I can't help but punch the counter.

"And what exactly did  _I_ do? Hmm?" I snarl at him. "What do you know, Grimmjow? He's been lying to me all this time, hasn't he? He's always dragging me in problematic situations and I've had enough," I spit.

"Bull!" He cuts me off. "I know you, Kurosaki. You don't know about this, but we've been to the same high school," I can feel my eyes widening in terror because of his words," I was silently observing you. Sure, I wasn't your creepy stalker or anything, but I was a troublemaker and so were you. You were always there, wearing hoodies and smoking in dark alleys. You were worse than Kon and yet you're treating him like this. What are you afraid of, Kurosaki? That he might tempt you go back to your old days? Or is it because he is gay?" I flinch. So Kon really is gay. "Oh, so this must be it. You know," our noses are barely touching now, "you' are huge hypocrite." And with that he finishes his drink, slams the glass on the counter and takes his leave, while my brain tries to chew on the last words he threw to me.  _This can't get worse…!_

After what seems like forever, my shift ends and I am finally out of there. I swear that spending more time in that smoke-soaked, sweat-filled bar is going to drive me nuts soon. New York never sleeps, does it? Endless nights of loud music and drunken people are what colours the undergrounds of this God forgotten city. And suddenly I am asking myself if there is any God, then what is He doing? I am looking around me and all I see broken people, ignorant people and good people being punished. May I ask why? Why isn't anybody doing anything to stop this? Sometimes I can't help but wonder…why isn't He pulling us out of our misery when it's clear that we need it? All I hear is have patience, have faith, but how many times must I break to be finally released of this grief?  _Am I a bad person?_

**Ding-dong. Ding-dong. Ding-dong.**

I can't believe I am doing this, but I am actually standing in front of  _his_ door waiting for him to open it. Maybe he is asleep. It is, after all 4 in the morning and there is no light in the house, but he was the one who asked me to drop by after work. And I am a man of my word, well most of the time. When I am ready to give up and head to my house, the door finally swings open showing a very tired and bare-chested Shirosaki. Even if his eyes are halfway closed, his lips manage to pull a grin. Seriously, what's up with guys grinning at me lately?

"Ya came," he states and steps away from the entry, allowing me to enter his warm hallway. Compared to the chill morning air, his house really is warm.

"Sorry for taking so long," I mumble not sure what has been in my head when I knocked at his door. He waves his hand in the air saying it is nothing and turns his back to me. God, this specimen is killing me! Should anyone be allowed look like being crafted by the skillful hands of a god or creature of a sort? His skin is so pale and so well-toned that he looks like a marble statue. Cold as one too.

"Wanna watch Thor?" he asks all of the sudden and I shrug, giving in. I really need something to distract me…from pretty much everything. So with some distance between ourselves, we stand on the couch curled up in sheets, munching Doritos while watching Thor until the sun rises.

**To be continued…**


	9. Candy seeking

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shirosaki takes Ichigo to the theatre. (Totally not a date. Pfft.)

" _Sometimes is better for the heart when it's bitter…"- R.E._

* * *

**New York City, NY, United States**

**Sunday, August 19** **th** **, 2012**

**1:30 PM**

**Ichigo's P.O.V.:**

The wonderful scent of bacon and eggs has woken me up. It pierced through my dream state and brought me back to real life in such a pleasurable way that, if I were a cartoon character, I would be floating my way to the kitchen with my eyes closed. But I am not, so I am simply dragging my feet to the kitchen with my eyes half-closed. As soon as I sit at the table, I stab the bacon and eat it.

"Ya like it, don't ya?" his voice snaps me out of my dreamy state and I can't help but stare blankly at him.  _This_ is not my house. It's  _his._  I nod slightly munching on my breakfast.

"Thanks…ughh…for everything," I mumble before stuffing my face yet again. I must have fallen asleep on the sofa while watching Thor. He has been as kind as to cover me with a blanket and cook me breakfast. Should I be worried? I mean he is way too kind and I am starting to worry here. What if he is plotting something behind my back? Like maybe he knows Rukia and…  _Ichigo, stop._ I am just feeling guilty because I lied to her, that's it.

"Don't mention it," he brushes it off and sits at the table and silence falls upon us and we finish our breakfast in peace. "So…got any plans for today?" he asks as we rise from the table and I frown. Do I have any specific plans for today? Well, beside the stay out of the doc's sight and avoid your brother like a pro, nothing. I shake my head.

"I'll wash these," I state and he shrugs.

"If ya insist. I can't stop ya," he says hands in the air like a man trying to plead innocent and I have to stifle a laugh. "What?" he asks all of sudden and I shake my head.

"Your face was comical," I explain washing the dishes.

"Glad to entertain ya, but I was actually pretty seriously in thought. If ya ain't got anything worth a shit to do today, I can keep ya company. Yanno, like the good neighbour I am 'n' shit," he says and I can't help but laugh at him. "Oh, great. Keep laughing, Ichi, very funny," he rolls his eyes in annoyance.

"Sorry, man. I dunno what's gotten into me recently," I say as I try to regain my breath. "But, yeah…that would be awesome. You know, hanging out and stuff," I gesture between the two of us and his smirk doesn't fail to inform me of how pleased he is my answer.  _Weirdo._ "Do you have anything particular in your mind?"

"Actually I do," he says and I can't help but raise my eyebrows in anticipation. "How 'bout a walk in the Central Park? Or maybe we can go to the Zoo?" I stare at him blankly. What? "Or we can go ta see a play. That's it. I wanna see a play. We can go out, book our places and then take a stroll in the Central Park or something," by now he is more talking to himself as he pacing around like some excited teenage girl. "Is it ok with ya? Say something, will ya?" now he's getting impatient. What a weird person! Could he really be a stripper? Looking at him stress over nothing makes me feel very uncertain of I think I saw.

"Sure. I think it's good," I tell him and he all lights up like a Christmas tree and the next second he runs upstairs leaving me amused downstairs. Nope, definitely not a stripper. I mean, just look at him! I swear that if I show him candy he'll start bouncing up and down. Hmm, I might try that.

"Hey, take these after ya're done searchin' in my cupboards for cookies and candies," his voice echoes in the kitchen and I drop the glass I've been holding in order to search for candy.

"Shit!" I say as I look at the broken glass, then I start picking up the pieces.

"Here, let me help ya," his white long fingers brush against mine lightly in an attempt to pick up the broken glass from the cold floor. I retract my hand as soon as I can, trying not to freak out and let him know that I might be freaking out internally. I feel like a stupid girl from a chick-flick romantic and cliché movie.

"Sorry," I manage to mumble in the end, but he doesn't want to hear of it.

"It's no problem. Now get dressed," he gestures to the clothes he left for me on the chair. "Don't gimme that look, ya can't walk around in the clothes ya've been the whole night. Now, get dressed," his tone in the last sentence was slightly demanding to say the very least. Seriousness and determination ooze out from his watery voice and I don't even think twice before I grab his clothes,  _my_ clothes now, and burst into the bathroom to change. He chose me a white dress shirt, black dress pants and a satin black bowtie. What a nice costume! Expensive too. How does this guy get his money though?

Exiting the bathroom, I am met with his pale figure dressed alike and ready to go. With his head, he gestures to the door and I nod before following him in the cloudy summer day. I swear it has gotten chilly recently and it's unusual for this time of the year…but yeah. Global warming must be the one responsible for this. Quickly, we get in his car and he starts the engine without having second thoughts.

"How did you know I was lookin' for candy?" I ask all of sudden and he turns his attention slightly from the road to give me one of his I-know-it-all grins, which causes me to try to become smaller in my seat.

"They all do, kiddo. They all do," without further explanation he retrieves his attention to the road and I don't ask anymore. Something tells me I don't want to know the truth behind all… _that._

After booking our seats for  _Hamlet,_  he came to the conclusion that we'll have a lot to wait until 8PM, when the play started, so he told me we had a change of plans. I frowned and wanted to ask him what he had in mind, but he shook his head before I could even form the question out loud, just as if he had read my thoughts. So I silently followed him back in the car, hoping that he wasn't about to do something stupid.

In the end he pulled in front of an old well-maintained building and then we waited. And we waited. And then, finally, someone showed up from the black wooden front door- a tall massive man wearing a black trench coat that brushed the paved street slightly and a black hat that covered most of his features leaving only his full brown lips to the sight. Shirosaki got out of his black car and he gestured with his head that I follow him.

Rushing my way out of the car, I got out and walked to Shirosaki who was having a whisper conversation of sort with the tall mystery man. The stranger turned his head slightly at me, then at Shirosaki and the pale man nodded. His nod was followed by the tall man's nod and after turning his back at us, he opened the black massive door. Shirosaki's figure, lean and fit, moved graciously as he climbed the two steps in front of the front door and soon he was at the entry of the dark hallway before us. His pale lips were curled in a grin, as he turned his head to look at me, grin that silently and wordlessly invited me in and, although hesitant to this whole deal, I followed him inside.

When I turned my gaze to the door, as if contemplating to go back, a harsh wind hit it and it closed with a creaking noise leaving me in darkness in the narrow hallway. Panicked, I tried to reach for the door handle to open it, but in the dim light of the candles, I observed there was no such thing. What have I gotten myself into? Shirosaki is ahead of me, his back turned at me while he follows the tall man. The hallway is wrapped in black wallpaper with red flowery pattern and candles are the only source of light. No pictures just closed black doors here and there.

And suddenly, the feeling I had the day before, strikes again. The weird feeling when I walked around the museum with Shirosaki. In the dim light of the hallway, he gives off the aura of an eternal, God forsaken being who has too much time in his hand than he's asked for, who could have almost everything by just clapping his hands, whose eyes could literally freeze someone on the spot.

Then, we stop in front of another black door. Shirosaki turns to look at me with, from what I gather, is an amused look on face and he grabs me by my hand. The tall man is long gone, God knows where and Shirosaki pushes the door before I can read the golden letters above it.

**To be continued…**


	10. Black Ink

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ichigo and Shiro go a bit underground.

" _He is a man of many contradictions, both old-school and new age, fascinating and eerie, mature and childish, good and evil at the same time…"-E.B._

* * *

**New York City, NY, United States**

**Sunday, August 19** **th** **, 2012**

**4:37 PM**

**Ichigo's P.O.V.:**

When the door opened, the world it revealed to me took my breath away. With my hand being held by Shirosaki's own pale hand, we are now trying to make our way further through the crowd. Thick cigarette smoke is blurring my vision, but he seems to be fine with it and the heavy smell of alcohol permeates the air, making it almost impossible to be inhaled. The room is enormous, packed with people, from old-fashioned men to busty, clad in corsets women. The walls are beige and the only source of light is the candles that tremble on the almost every dark brown table. No one pays attention to us and for that I am grateful. The women are dressed in clothes meant to seduce the men around; their full lips are painted in a dark red colour, while their eyes hold a dark threat and invitation in them at the same time. I wouldn't be surprised if they actually even carried guns in their leather boots or in places I wouldn't touch. (Of course, I wouldn't touch! I have a girlfriend!) There aren't many women anyway and they don't even seem to notice my presence, which couldn't be better.

But the men…that's another story. The room is practically filled with men of many ages, from youngsters clad in fancy, dark coloured suits to mature guys who smoke their tobacco like they have all the time in the world and they simply want to spend in a smoke-filled room and, of course, to old wrinkly men sporting way too many shots of alcohol for their age. The thing that nudges the back of my mind, though, is the beauty all these people possess. Not all of them look like runway models, but every single person in this room has  _the_ air around them; the same air that oozes out Shirosaki from time to time. Maybe I've been spending too much time buried in paperwork and I've stopped believing in the beauty of this world. Or maybe my father is right and I am not actually altogether sane.

And then, there's the music that is softly playing in the background. Classical, Mendelssohn perhaps, but I am not really acquainted with this music genre, no matter how many times my father tried to shove it in my mind and possibly my heart. I used to play piano when I was younger, but I never enjoyed it. I was a rebel, I needed my electrical guitar and my playlists filled with ear-blasting music. Not the chill crap, as I used to call it back then. Even today, I can't say I am completely fond of classical music, but it is soothing after a long work day with dozens of idiots under you or against you trying to ruin your perfect life.

We are climbing up the white marble stairs and I can't help but notice the contrast between Shirosaki's dark suit, his eerie inverted eyes and his well-defined pale skin and the marble stairs. Again, it is like a god sculpted his body perfectly from a marble block then blew life into him. His cold hand is still holding mine and I can't help but wonder why he has such a cold body. As cliché as it sounds, he seems otherworldly and nothing that he does helps me think otherwise. I must admit that he fascinates me with his entire being, that his charm absorbs me completely and that I find this disturbing, that I am afraid of what kind of power he has over me. He is a breathtaking being, because I can't call him a person. I may sound rude, but he is no ordinary man.

Shirosaki seems to be standing above all of us and he knows it- his gracious movements, snarky comments and full-of-himself grins prove my point here.

He drags me in one of the closed rooms from the first floor, closing the door after us. The room is small and empty- a round black table is placed by the window, two wooden with two red velvet pillows chairs next to it and the walls are covered by shelves filled with old-looking books. There's a fireplace in the darker side of the room, but there is no actual fire in it, just wood. Shirosaki finally let's go of my hand and grabs a string that is attached to the ceiling. He pulls it slightly, but nothing happens and I can feel my frown deepen.

"Ya'll see," are the first words I hear from him for a while and his watery voice echoes in the slightly cold room, startling me. I want to ask him where we are and what made him bring me here and what this place is to him anyway, but my mouth went dry and I gaped like a fish a few times before I decided to shut up and wait for something,  _anything_  to happen.

After what seemed like ages- to me, anyway, because Shirosaki didn't seem too fazed by the undying silence- a dark-haired woman clad from head to toe in tight leather everything, her pale boobs being caged by the painful looking corset appears. Black eyes fix me, scanning me from head to toe with no clear expression in them; just pure deep blackness. Her black curls reached her shoulders, the tips of her locks brushing her pale skin slightly. Her attention moves to Shirosaki for a short while before she turns to gaze at me again and her dark red lips curl in a knowingly grin. What she might know now, I have no idea and, again, I don't think I would like to know either. So I give her half a smile, silently trying to tell her I don't understand shit of what is going here and I don't know if she understands or not, but she doesn't seem to even care.

"Mary, would you mind bringing us one of your best bottle of wine and a menu, please?" Shirosaki's voice is coated with politeness and flows like a river of velvet, if that makes any sense. She nods, the grin on her full moist-looking lips and with a sway of her hips she makes her exit. "Ain't she a piece of work?" he asks and I can't help but shrug instantly. I must admit that as she may have delicate features and somewhat seductive movements along with a skimpy getup, but it simply doesn't spark my interest. It must be because I am devoted to Rukia, right? It can't possibly be because of…my little condition. "Ya don't like her?" he asks, concern in his voice, but I can't possibly understand his reason.

"It's not that I don't like her. She is beautiful, but I have a girlfriend. I don't do cheating," I state as a matter of fact and Shirosaki's white eyebrows shot up while he nods lightly.

"Huh, quite committed, aren't we?" his voice has a teasing undertone, but I shrug hoping he would butt out of my private life. But he obviously doesn't take the hint or if he does, he doesn't show it anyway. "How did the two of you become a couple anyway? Doesn't she have a scary crazy yakuza brother?" If anything my frown deepens. This guy must be stalking me.

"How would you know that?" Dodge the subject, trial #1.

"Oh, please. Yer Kurosaki Ichigo, the famous son of Isshin Kurosaki, the relatively recently deceased father, brother of Kon Kurosaki, the rebellious artist. At first I had no idea who I was talkin' to, but I ain't stupid, I remembered seeing ya in a magazine as I was waitin' ta have my hair cut."

"You had your hair cut? When did that happen?" Dodge the subject, trial #2.

"Of all the things you could notice that's what interests you the most? Well, I shouldn't let ya grieve in suspense, but I don't quite remember that one," he says in a fake apologetically voice.

"Stop mocking me, Shirosaki," I huff in annoyance, but he only laughs at that. Dodge the subject, trial #3. I can smell success.

"Oh, come on, Ichi, ya are funny when ya are red with anger. Yer face looks like ya're gonna explode, yanno," he manages to say in the end. "It ain't my business, but, man, ya had a rough time getting' her. Is she really worth it?" By now his tone has become serious and his golden orbs are scrutinizing my very movement. "It would be a pity ta reach fifty, sixty-something and come ta regret it. It's yer life 'n' no one's sure there will be another one. No one can know. I dunno if ya believe in God or some other deity, but do ya think God, for example, would happily welcome ya to Heaven when yer soul is full of regret; regret caused by the simple fact that ya didn't lead the life ya wanted? I don't think ya'll be let in Heaven when ya clearly can't get past some things, when ya're shackled by some things ya've done or not. Sometimes what confines and hurts us the most is what we  _don't_ do, rather than what we actually do. "

"You have a point. But lately it has been quite a challenge to have faith that there is a God at all. But even so, if I, as you imply, don't do what I feel right, would I go to Hell for it? How do you see this, Shirosaki?" I ask and Shirosaki is suddenly sighing tiredly.

"Well, I don't know, mate. But what if ya do? Or what if ya become trapped in here as a ghost? Or maybe we all just vanish in the unknown," by now he is looking far away, through me almost, his voice is heavy. "I don't know anything certain about God. Many say he is everywhere, but I fail to see this. Dunno. Maybe I am a sinner, who knows, because I'm certainly not a saint."

"Just who are you, Shirosaki? Why did you bring me here? And what's this exactly?" I burst suddenly and his eyes snap back to fix me, as if he suddenly remembered I am here too.

"This, as in the room we are staying in, is one of the private rooms in this ancient restaurant. This, as in the restaurant, is where people of importance come when they have nothing to do with their free time and they don't feel like facing the daylight or the outside world. It is actually pretty old and no outsider knows about it. And about my identity, I could say I am one of the many owners of this select club," he said obviously pleased with his explanation and my immediate reaction; mouth-agape and wide-eyed is what he must be seeing now when he looks at me. "And of course I would know a thing or two about my neighbour, who recently has hung out in my house, even if ya weren't some famous lad, so no need to be alarmed. It's simply self-defense in case anything happened," he adds and I can't help but gulp down dryly. And there I thought he was a stalker. He seems to have sensed my thoughts, because yet again he has asked one of my unspoken questions. Can this guy actually read my mind or am I simply way too obvious? If he can guess what's crossing my mind now, he doesn't say a word.

Mary comes in with a dusty bottle of wine and two menus. After she places them on the table, each in front of one of us, she opens the bottle and pours the ruby liquid in two glasses slowly. Shirosaki opens his menu and I do the same. Shocked, I close it the next second.

"Something wrong, sir?" she asks worried and shake my head quickly.

"Everything is fine, don't worry," I mumble and open it again. The picture is gone. Two seconds ago I could swear there was a picture of two men kissing, but I guess my mind played tricks on me. I must be tired; after all I've poured drinks almost all night long so there must be some side effect. I don't even dare to look at Shirosaki and all I can do is hope he didn't see any of this, whatever this was. I can lie to myself and tell myself he didn't see me flinch. I can do this. I return my attention to the menu in front of me. The paper is soft and a dark yellow, while the meals are written in black ink and beautiful handwriting. Has this been written by hand? It looked so. The menu had food from around the world and today I felt a bit eccentric so I chose something I couldn't even pronounce, let alone know what it was. But Mary doesn't argue and after Shirosaki tells her that he'd settle for a plate of something I didn't quite catch and she disappears leaving us in our somewhat uncomfortable silence.

"What did you order?" I ask as soon as she leaves, hoping to prevent silence to fall upon us and trying to dodge his possible Spanish Inquisition about what happened earlier.

"A Romanian dish- it's called  _m_ _ămăligă cu brânză și smântână._ In English this would translate as polenta with Greek style cheese and sour cream. It's actually pretty good, yanno," he explains and I raise my eyebrows in surprise. "What did you order, anyway?"

"I have no idea. I hope it's not something freaky," I say suddenly worried for my future meal which causes Shirosaki to burst into a healthy laughter.

"Honestly? Dude, ya're gonna get yerself killed one day, if ye keep it up," he shakes his head in disapproval after he finally manages to calm down. "Anyway, what happened earlier? Ya seemed pretty scared, if ya ask me," he suddenly asks. Oh, boy, he saw me! And now he is insulting my manliness. I am not sure if I should punch him or simply tell him it was nothing. I might just…

"It was nothing. I was amazed by the menu- it seemed very old," I lamely attempt to lie, scratching the back of my head apologetically. His eyes narrow, but the next second he is nodding.

Crisis averted. It's not like I can simply tell him that I saw a picture of two men kissing and I freaked out because of it, right? Sure, I could go with the homophobe excuse, but man, I don't even know if I could manage to lie about that properly. It's best to skirt the subject as much as possible; that's something I know for sure.

It turns out that my choice for today's lunch isn't as terrible as I thought it would be, but I can't possibly explain what I am eating, because I have no idea. I just know it tastes good and that should be enough; at least for now. Shirosaki says it is disgusting-looking so he won't even try it, but hey, more for me. Although I have to agree that his choice of food turned out great too. The wine is good too- it's simply begging me to drink more of it and that's not something that usually happens.

"Mary knows her stuff," I say as I stuff my face.

"Doesn't she?" Shirosaki agrees with his glass of wine in his hand. Damn him, why does he have to hold that glass like it's some sort of precious jewel? Why does he seem so gracious despite his mixed British accent and American-Ghetto-sort-of accent? Why does he look like some sort of a time forgotten noble when he is so rude and icy sometimes? Shouldn't he be illegal or at least banned from this ugly plain world? And then, I finally understood. It was him who easily broke my walls of lies. He is the very reason of my remembering about my preference or so to speak. The best part of it? He has no clue what he has done to me, what he  _is_ doing to me and this makes me proud and disappointed, angry and frustrated. I can't wrap my head around this, so maybe another glass of wine would help me…

_**Two bottles of wine and a failed attempt to go to the bathroom later…** _

"I can't believe there is no free bathroom in here. I mean, honestly, after drinking so much, don't these guys feel the urge to release? At least once?" I huff in annoyance and Shirosaki stifles his laughter.

"I can let ya to my private bathroom, if ya are so desperate," he says as we exit the private room. Turn right and ya should see it. It writes Shirosaki on it," he says and leaves my side without leaving me much option but get there ASAP.

Once I'm done, I stop by the sink to wash my hands and check myself in the mirror, but soon I am letting out a scream and I stumble as I try to back away from the mirror. I closed my eyes and looked back. It disappeared. Again, I had a hallucination of something that I wouldn't want to see. This time, two men were…were half naked and they…oh God. I need mental bleach and goodnight's rest.

Making my way out of the bathroom, I brush my clothes as if clearing them off dust and I try to seem as collected and possible. Back in the private room, Shirosaki is sitting by the fireplace with a bored expression.

"It's kinda cold in here, isn't it?" he asks and I nod as I join him by the fireplace. The fire is growing and it's getting warmer minute by minute, but it's pleasant. What a strange August day…I glance at my watch. 7:15PM only. How…? Never mind.

" You said you are one of the owners of this restaurant…are there many other?" I find myself suddenly asking him.

"Oh, yeah. We are many in order to have time for other jobs too," he said. "Ya could say we kind of grew up together and Tia decided to split this between us. Tia is the one who inherited it from her folks, but she said she couldn't do it alone, so she asked her best friends to help. We are seven or nine persons who are in charge with this place. I don't mean ta brag, but I get to make my shift most of the time. It seems that they consider me a bit…well ya get it. I don't particularly care as long as I can have time for my own and money ta do whatever I please."

"I see…do ya do anything else then?" I ask suddenly thinking that he may be a part-time stripper after all. Well, not that I expect him to tell me the truth. I still hope that night didn't actually happen. Or that he wasn't there at least, because if he knows of my little escapade, I can't even begin to think what he…NO.

"Nah, I'm too lazy," he says. I don't know if I should believe him, but he looks really sincere, so maybe I was wrong. Maybe I wasn't even in a gay bar to begin with and it was just a hallucination. Maybe Kon isn't even gay, but he mentioned that night…Ughh…I am going crazy here. I just need to sleep it off. Yes, that's it.

"But how come I didn't know about this place?" I try to dodge the dangerous field my mind seems to want to explore all of sudden.

"Well, not everyone with money knows about this place or is allowed in here. For example, Kuchiki Byakuya is not on the allowed list. He is against some of us and we don't welcome our enemies. He knows about the existence of this place, but he can't enter. We have the right to choose our clients. Let's just say we don't have a flower- painted past, ok?" I nod. "Ya didn't do anything wrong yet, so ya are free ta come, but I wouldn't recommend ya to come here without me. This place is filled with dangerous people and as I am sure ya can take care of yerself, I don't want ya to be targeted because of me or God knows what can happen. I may be one of the owners, but some tend to forget that, so I wouldn't want ya to get hurt over this when it can be avoided," he warns and I nod.

"I wouldn't come here on my own. It's not like it doesn't suit my tastes, but what's the point in coming here alone and be surrounded by strangers who might or might not be dangerous? I know this applies to pretty much every bar on this planet, but I don't usually visit those alone either, so…"  _I'm not a teenager anymore. I don't wander from bar to bar with no one to keep me company._

"I see. I guess it was your brother who forced ya to go to Death + Co., right?"

"Yeah. He usually calls me or simply bursts into my office and nags me until I agree to go with him. He's so pushy sometimes," I sigh.

"But don't ya have any friends?" he asks suddenly and I stare at him.

"Of course I do! I just…don't hang out with them in bars. Most of them are coworkers and Rukia's friends so yeah…" I shift my gaze to my fingers. Was it really necessary to remind me about my lack of friends?

"So ya don't have any friends," he states.  _I know that, but I don't like thinking about it that way._ All of my friends are gone. Some are dead, some are serious guys like me, just anywhere else and some are just rebels. I've lost them long ago. "Man, that must suck. I don't have many friends either, because, hell, the world is such a cruel place and ya hafta be wary of whom ya trust, but in the end I have the other owners. We are like a huge family who bickers too much over stupid shit, but at least we've got each other, yanno. And before ya get to say anything, I don't do stuff out of pity, because I don't even think I am capable of such emotion, so we can try being friends, right? I mean ya seem like a nice guy and we get along pretty well most of the time. It wouldn't hurt us to try being friends, now would it?" I pause to think for a minute. Well, he has a point. I could really use a friend who is neither work-related nor Rukia-related. A friend who would be mine because he chose to, not because of certain circumstances sounds nice. And Shirosaki is not such a bad person. He has class, he doesn't seem to be doing drugs all day and all night and, although his driving habits drive me nuts and his constant mocking kind of annoys me, he is really not that bad of a person.

"Sure," I said smiling at him and he grins back at me extending his hand.

"Deal?" The fire burns wildly in the fireplace by now, burning the right side of my body. Here, in the darker corner of the room, the warm light of the fire seems to create another universe where nice things can happen to you without giving up everything in order to achieve it. The atmosphere is hard to describe, because I suddenly feel like I am in one of those Christmas fairy tales where the protagonist sits by the fireplace and then  _poof!_ Something unexpected and fantastic happens! It must be my imagination, but…

"Deal." I take his hand and shake it.

_**To be continued…** _


	11. The Butler

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ichigo spends the night at Shiro's. Again.

" _You must be a complete fool, if you think you can order your heart around, darling."-E.B._

* * *

**New York City, NY, United States**

**Sunday, August 19** **th** **, 2012**

**10:21 PM**

**Ichigo's P.O.V.:**

The red velvet curtains and dim lights of the theater have left a strong impact on my mind, because right now, as we are on our way back to Shirosaki's, while I am resting my head against the window, I can only think about the soft chairs we sat on and the amazing actors that did their job miraculously well. Suddenly I felt like I have been teleported in another era, where the wealthy would come to forget about their daily problems.

"Did ya enjoy it?" Shirosaki's voice pulls me out of my reverie and my eyes shut open in order to look at him with the corner of my eye. He is facing the road and I am really grateful that, at least for now, he chose to drive like a sane person.

"Oh, yes, it was amazing!" I say breathlessly, although I shouldn't have. I don't like giving him the satisfaction of leaving me mouth-agape; it can only boost his already huge ego. But the deed has been done and, unfortunately there is no turning back so I try not to think about it too much.

"Well, I knew ya'd like it." There, I knew it he would say it! Damn, I really should watch out what I say. "On another note, though, do ya hafta go to Death + Co. tonight?" we stop at a red light and I can see him turning to look at me fully. On an instant, I do the same thing.

"Shit, I forgot about tonight! I am in no shape to there!" I start panicking all of sudden and he puts his hand on my shoulder.

"Don't worry, ya can call in sick, yanno," he informs me, but I am not quite sure what to make of this. Aizen wouldn't be too happy if I missed a night. "Don't make that face, Aizen is not that bad." Hearing this, my frown deepens. "Oh, yeah, I know Aizen. If ya want, I can call him and explain that I'm to blame fer dragging ya outta yer house, but it's up to ya to decide whether I do that or not," he offers. Well, his offer is putting at stake my manliness, it's true, but Aizen is not someone you would want to upset. So, I guess I can let it slip this time. But only  _ **this**_ time!

"Ok, deal," I say in the end before he starts the car again. Of course, he doesn't miss the chance to give me one of his already famous grins and I can't help but roll my eyes instantly at him. God, he is so cocky! "Aizen must seem like a pretty decent guy, but, hell, he gives me goosebumps with his wannabe kind smiles. I bet he is hiding something really fishy!" I start complaining to Shirosaki, hoping he won't mock me. To my surprise, he doesn't. Instead, he nods and I can't help but be relieved in a way, because he agrees with me and I am not wrong, but worried because then Aizen actually might be doing something not so cute and legal behind the scenes. I have mixed feelings about this situation, I can't deny it.

"Ya read him right. He's really not one ya'd like to piss off. This guy is all smiles and politeness, but in his head he is probably analyzing every movement you make in order to discover yer weaknesses for future blackmail material. I'd be careful around him," I gulp down dryly. As I thought, Aizen is actually dangerous. "But don't worry about tonight. He owes me one, so it'll be fine."

"Thanks, Shirosaki," I say looking out the window. This situation is rather uncomfortable, but I could really use a day/night off.

_"Don't mention it, Ichi. We're friends, right?"_

The rest of the trip to his place remains in silence and I can't help but realize how would always slip into undetermined periods of silence now and then. I find it rather uncomfortable, I would like to talk to him, it doesn't really matter what subject we would be discussing, but I would really appreciate it if we talked. Every time we slip into one of these moments, I can't help but think of thousands of questions, all at once. Sometimes I even open my mouth to say them, but, in the end, nothing comes out and if Shirosaki sees this, he never says anything, the bastard. He must really enjoy teasing me, I'm sure of it.

After we quickly enter his house and kick our shoes off, I decide that it's time for me to throw myself on the couch. So I do it. I can hear Shirosaki snickering at me from the doorway, but I choose to ignore him and I stretch on his couch.

"Ya are like a huge cat, aren't ya?" he teases as he pokes his head in the living room. I grumble in response and he snorts at my reaction. "Fancy anythin' to eat, young lord?" he fakes a British accent from across the room and I stand up to show him the happy finger. "My, my. That's some rude behavior the young lord has!" he goes on with his little joke and I can't help but laugh a little at his badly faked shocked face and his ridiculous accent, that in no way suits him.

"Whatever you have, Sebastian," I say in a bossy, cocky tone. I decided to play his little game and aim to beat him at it. Two can play this game pretty well. He raises an eyebrow.

"Who's Sebastian?" he asks all of sudden and I can't help but burst into laughter. Man, he looks so innocent and comical with his inverted eyes gone huge.

"You, my butler," I wiggle my eyebrows suggestively. "For some reason all the butlers seem to be named so. At least that's what I've heard," I explain.

"I don't even want to know what ya've been watching to come to this conclusion, but ok. Ya win this one, but only this one!" pointing his finger at me, he makes his exit and I can't help but stare at the hallway amused by our little game. What a strange man! "I'm makin' spaghetti and I don't want any complaints about it, ya heard me?" he suddenly comes back in the hallway to inform me and I nod my head. "Good," and with that he is gone again and I can't help but shake my head. Shirosaki  _ **is**_ strange, that's a fact.

_**Half an hour later…** _

We are sitting in the kitchen with two plates full of spaghetti. The smell has taken over the first floor of his house and I confess it must be sin to cook food that make you drool with only its scent. It tastes even better than it smells and soon we are both leaning on our chairs, panting and studying the white ceiling of the kitchen like it's the most fascinating thing to do.

"You shouldn't be allowed in the kitchen. It's a wonder you are so slender although you cook like this. Man, it's a sin what you are doing here," I say after a while not caring if I boosted his gigantic ego or not.

"Isn't it?" is all he says and I can't help but nod. After a while, he pulls his cellphone out of his pocket. "Hello?" a pause. "Aizen? Yes, it's me, Shiro," another pause. "Yeah," yet another pause. "Remember that favour ya owed me? Well, let's say that I kinda kidnapped yer lil' bartender. A break can do wonders to this kid, yanno," he says grinning and I can't help but stare at him. "Good, sure," he says after a rather long pause. "Yeah, thanks." A shorter pause follows. "Later, Aizen!" And with that the call ends. "It's done," he announces and shoves his phone on the table.

"Oh, good," I mutter and suddenly he stands up and stretches his back with a yawn.

"I am going to take a shower first. I prepared ya some clothes ya can wear tonight and a towel on yer bed. Ya fell asleep on the couch the other night and I tried waking ya up, but ya wouldn't move, so I let ya be, but I'm having none of that tonight. Ya need a goodnight's rest and ya are going upstairs, no buts, no ifs," he tells me and leaves the room before I can argue.  _Idiot._

After a minute or two, I decide it's time for me to wash the dishes, so I proceed. I am not really fond of doing this, but it helps me relax in a weird way. There aren't many dishes to be washed, so I am soon left without occupation.  _Why not continue my Candy Land Expedition?_ With my hands in his cupboards and on my tiptoes is the image Shirosaki sees when he comes back in the kitchen. He startles me so badly that this time I drop a plastic spoon that, thank God, doesn't break.

"Still searching for candy?" he teases and I feel my cheeks flush from embarrassment of being caught in the act. Shirosaki stands with his bare arms on his towel-covered hips in the kitchen like there is no problem at all. Freshly out of the shower, the steam is still surrounding his body, while small droplets fall from his wet hair and snake their way through those sinfully looking abs and…I CAN'T DO THIS ANYMORE! I quickly avert my gaze and pick the spoon from the floor to wash it, but it seems that Shirosaki is not done with tormenting me. He silently approaches me from behind as I try to wash the fucking spoon with my shaky hands and suddenly I can feel his spicy scent invading my nostrils mercilessly, while his breath on my neck sends little shivers down my spine.

"Let me wash this," he says after effortlessly grabbing the spoon from my hand, his watery voice so calm and so close to my poor ear…Oh God,  _ **why**_?! Without saying anything, I step away from him and let him wash it. "I don't wanna burst yer bubble, but I have no candy, so yeah," he says all of sudden.

I nod as he turns to look at me. I don't even know what's worse…looking at his gorgeous back or at his captivating front along with those shimmering eyes and taunting lips.  _Think about Rukia. She is your sweet girlfriend and you love her. You fought a lot to get to be her boyfriend, don't ruin it_.  _Plus, you can't make gooey eyes at your only friend, male or not!_ So I manage to pull my eyes away in the end. "Ya can go take a shower. Bathroom's all yers," he tells me as he exits the kitchen. Sighing I follow his piece of advice. I really should stop staring at him like that. I must have freaked him out and I hope I didn't, because, although I hate admitting this, he is fun to hang out with. It would be shame to lose him because I couldn't stop being stupid.

**To be continued…**


	12. Stairway to Hell

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kon and Ichigo finally have chat.

**Stairway to Hell**

" _I fell in love how you fall asleep: firstly slowly and then all at once"-J. Green_

**New York City, NY, United States**

**Sunday, August 19** **th** **, 2012**

**11:09 PM**

**Ichigo P.O.V.:**

I haven't even realized how much I needed a hot shower and a night off until now. Sure, I had a shower in the morning, but nothing can beat a late night shower in which your mind can roam freely without having to worry about going to work. As soon as I am done, which took me a while, I step out of the shower, a towel wrapped around my waist and I am ready to go upstairs to sleep. Opening the bathroom door, though, I realize that fate has some other plans for me because Shirosaki seems to be talking to someone by the front door and the next second I'm back in the bathroom, ear pressed against the wooden white door.

"Are you sure you haven't seen him? His poor girlfriend is really worried, you see. She called me and told me that there is something wrong with Kurosaki-san and that I should pay him a visit. Since I was in town in a vacation, I told myself 'why not?' so I went to check up on him, but he isn't answering the house seems deserted. Today she called again even more alarmed and she told me she could reach him. His brother is working in his place and no one seems to have heard anything about him. She's desperate and she's thinking about calling the cops. As his neighbour I thought you may know something." without any doubt, this is Urahara Kisuke speaking and suddenly I feel like beating myself. Why have I been so idiotic? Sometimes it's hard to believe I run a large company successfully.

"Nah, mate. I've moved here recently. It's true that I went to his place the other day and we ran into each other later in the museum, but I ain't involved in this. I barely know the guy," he says in a defensive voice and if I didn't know better even I would have believed him. _Just how good of an actor are you Shirosaki?_

"I see. Well, here. Give me a ring if you happen to hear anything, Shirosaki-san," and with that the shut closed and I exhale the breath I didn't even acknowledge I've been holding until now.

"Ya can come out, yanno," there he goes again. I must seriously reconsider the idea of him having psychic powers or something. Pushing that aside, I do as I am told and I step out of the bathroom. "Dude, ya should talk to yer brother. As much as I like havin' company, I don't think ya should alarm the whole world just 'cuz ya lost a bet 'n' don't want yer girlfriend to think lowly of ya," he announces, face glued to the TV and I sigh running a hand through my wet hair before going to sit next to him on the couch. The lights are out and his dark blue curtains cover the large windows that could give me away.

"I know, but it's complicated," I say in the end. Shirosaki is watching some movie with monster killers and he doesn't even seem to notice my presence. I lean against the soft couch, trying to catch on with the plot of the movie, when suddenly Shirosaki mutes it and turns to look at me, startling me in the process.

"Whatever ya say, Berry, but promise me ya'll call yer brother tomorrow," he says in a slightly indifferent tone, but he is definitely serious about it- no fooling around in his stare- and I feel like a small child scolded by their mother.

"Ok," I scoff. I don't like being baby-sitted, although I know I deserve it because I haven't been all mature and stuff in the past few days. He nods, clearly satisfied with my response and he quickly returns his attention to the TV screen, unmuting it. "Oh, and Shirosaki?" I ask which earns me a distracted short humming from him. "Don't call me 'Berry'," I snap before going upstairs to sleep.

**Monday, August 20** **th** **, 2012**

**10:14 AM**

When you had a goodnight's sleep, the world seems like the friendliest place to you. All of sudden, the strong and warm morning light doesn't bother you when it caresses your back and wakes you up, the joyous chirping of the birds doesn't sound like Sounds from Hell anymore and even the call that you are supposed to make doesn't bother as much as you know it should. It's amazing how much a calm profound sleep can do to you!

After yet another incredible breakfast at Shirosaki's, who is still grumbling by the sink, not letting me wash anything, telling me that I better get going before he changes his mind, I am almost ready to go home and face my demons, determined to destroy them with the power of light and cheerfulness. (Cheesy much? You bet.)

I feel sorry for him, in a way. In these two days that I spent with him, I didn't see him interact with anyone else and suddenly I am asking myself if what I've seen a few nights ago happening in his house was true. I must have imagined all like I've done with the picture yesterday and in the bathroom. He is all alone in this huge house and he doesn't seem to go to work too much. What does he do to have fun? Did he feel good yesterday? He spent most of the time with me. Scratch that, he spent all of his day with me; _me_ , a boring business man who is too stupid to take responsibility of his own actions.

Clearly, he spent the whole night crawled up in a ball on that couch watching God knows what terrible TV shows. Then he probably fell asleep on the couch in an uncomfortable position that now gives him back pains. Eyes half closed and grumpy attitude is a clue, for starters. His food is still as good as ever, but he seems very tired and he won't stop cursing under his nonexistent beard. I've tried convincing him to let me wash the dishes but he started shaking his hands around, _shooing_ me away. What an idiot.

"Thanks for everything, Shirosaki, and sorry again for the entire ruckus," I said as I stood outside his house. The morning light fell on his white face, bringing out his pallor even more. His eyebrows furrowed showing his clear displease with the strong, invading light.

"It's ok, mate. See ya later," he says his voice dry like he's been screaming all night. _Shirosaki, just what did you do last night?_ I know I shouldn't care, but I do, so sue me.

"Yeah, see you later," I reply although there was no real question and his door closes slowly. With a sigh I make my way to my own house and soon I am fishing for my keys the pocket of my pants.

My house is deserted and a sudden feeling of loneliness invades me. Despite all the pictures of Rukia and me smiling on the walls and on random pieces of furniture, for some strange unknown reason, I don't feel any home-welcoming warmth taking over my body like it is supposed to happen.

Sitting in the middle of the room, with my back at the sunlight and my face to the one picture Shirosaki picked in his hands, I start questioning myself if I ever felt that way when I entered this house. Mostly, I was way too tired from work to even think about it and the only things that mattered were good, warm food and a decent bed to drop dead in. The next day was the same. The weekends weren't too much of a difference. I mostly slept or went out with Rukia's friends, if I was lucky and my presence wasn't demanded at work instead. _How long has this been going on?_

Covering my mouth with one hand, I realize that I can't even remember how long I've been living like a slave. Suddenly, my brother's concerns about me being a workaholic sounded right. Without hesitating, I take the phone in my hands and form Kon's number.

" _Kon?"_ a pause follows, " _We need to talk."_

_**Two hours and a half later…** _

I am sitting in a café, constantly gazing at my watch and nervously tapping my fingers on the table, waiting for Kon to make his appearance. According to my watch, he is already five minutes late and a small annoying voice in my head mocks me about this, telling me that I don't deserve to speak with him after how I treated him. Sure, I am trying to ignore it, but it is getting harder to do so when time passes and still no one comes. He said he will come, but what if he lied? What if something happened to him? Or what if he changed his mind in the process?

"There you are!" says a familiar voice behind me when I was on the verge of calling him again. On my way to the café I bought myself another phone and I added all the contacts I could remember, including Kon. I stand up to give him one of our usually back-slapping hugs. After that, he sits in front of me with a smile on his lips, despite his seemingly tired eyes. I suddenly wonder how he manages to party like there is no tomorrow all night and then go to the office, in my place, or start a new painting and still look so happy-go-lucky ray of fucking sunshine. "Sorry for bein' late, the traffic is a killer," he says as he takes his sunglasses off. He is all dressed in a suit and it strikes me as odd. This getup doesn't suit him at all.

"It's ok," I manage to say in the end and waitress comes to the rescue, asking us about our order. We end up ordering two cups of coffee and chocolate cheesecake. She smiles at us, before taking her leave. We did the twin thing again.

"Anyway, you said we needed to talk, so here I am," he said. Oh, Kon, always straight to the subject. I nod. "Look, I didn't mean to li-…"

"It's fine, Kon. Really. I get it," I interrupt him all of sudden.

"You do?" he looks puzzled, heck, I'd look too if I were in his shoes. "Because two days ago you'd rather chase me with a torch, trying to burn me alive, so excuse me if I am a bit reluctant to believe you here," he says fixing his brown tie. "I hope you didn't call me here to give me one of your motherly crap-filled life lectures and I have been as stupid as to come here to meet you against my better judgment. To tell you the truth I didn't even want to see your face. Ever. But I knew I couldn't avoid you forever- one day you would have to go back to your oh-so-precious office and I told myself I could try to hear you once. But if you are going to start with nasty comments, I can easily exit this café as I entered it," his tone is laced with coldness and I suddenly feel guilty for my foolish behavior. I am about to lose my brother, my only relative alive, one of the few persons who gives a crap about me.

"No, I didn't call you here to scold you. I hoped… I could apologize about my impossibly rude behavior and to ask you if there was any way to make it up to you," I say in the end, nervously playing with my fingers under the table where his scrutinizing gaze can't reach. Even so, he doesn't look like he believes me because he is silently searching for any sign of betrayal on my face. "And I am not talking about the Pyramid incident only. It's about all…this. Whatever this is, that started so many years ago. I've been rude to you although you only tried to get me live a little and relax. And I am so sorry," I say. "I was, indeed, shocked when I realized that…you know, but I shouldn't have reacted like that." I sigh. I am really no good at this chick-flick moments. Expressing my feelings isn't among my qualities.

"It's ok…sorry for getting defensive here, brother. But I think you get my frustration," he gives me one of his half smiles. The waitress comes with our orders and soon she leaves us alone yet again. The scent of the coffee is strong and it takes over my sense, but I know I can't even taste it yet so I wrap my fingers around it and welcome the warmth of the cup to take over my hands.

"How long…?" I ask in the end, breaking the silence.

"Oh. Since college," Kon tells me, his gaze fixed on his food. "Hell, at first I was so scared! I had this roommate- he barely stayed in, but when he did he either had a terrible hangover or he simply slept. Being the good kid I used to be, I looked after him when he came back all drunk and even the next day when his head throbbed painfully. One night, I caught him before departing for another crazy party and he insisted that I went with him as in some sort of showing his gratitude towards me. I didn't want to, of course, but I did it anyway. The party was amazing, we both came back home hammered and laughing at God knows what. Sure the next day, we were dead men, but that was another story. I never had so much fun in my life and after that, he invited me to every party he went to. And one night, as I was trying to unlock the door to our room, he simply grabbed me and kissed me. Being way too intoxicated to care, I responded to his kiss without having second thoughts about it. Don't worry, we passed out before anything could happen." Kon is looking somewhere past me, his gaze definitely lost in the times of the past, with an expression of fondness and slight nostalgia. "For the next month, though, I avoided him like plague. I couldn't believe I could do such a thing. Kissing a guy wasn't on my To Do List and I had no one to ask about it. I wanted to talk to you about it, but you were so damn straight and I was afraid you might hate me forever and try to smite me on an instant. Judging by your reaction a few days ago, I wasn't exaggerating," he pauses to look at me and I am suddenly flushing with embarrassment. "Anyway, I knew I couldn't talk to anybody at school and our father was out of question, so I searched on the internet," he sighs. "If anything, it made me even more confused, so I damned it all and decided to confront Joseph, my roommate. I found him in the bathroom, the day when I decided to stop hanging around Orihime's place. The girl had a huge crush on you, by the way, and she gladly welcomed me to stay at her place. He started apologizing the first thing he saw me and I stopped him on the spot, by simply kissing him back to test if I were attracted to him. I told him we could try dating if he felt like it, but that I was also new to all this and that I didn't understand my feelings and that I needed time. He understood and he really wasn't pushy. Soon, it became as clear as daylight. Females never sparked my interest in reality. Whenever I tried dating a woman I felt ok, but that was the problem. I didn't feel the intense attraction," he sighs. "I wanted to tell you, hell. I wanted…"

"It's ok, man," I say putting a hand on his shoulder. "What happened to Joseph?" He nods and gives me a little sad smile.

"Everything was alright at first. Then it was amazing, because I finally understood my feelings. Joseph was a wonderful boyfriend- he never cheated on me, never insulted me and we rarely fought. We were almost done with college when things started to go the wrong side of the road. It was the moment our father found out," Kon drops his gaze to his coffee mug. "I think you remember that I was the one supposed to take over the company."

I nod, my heart suddenly beating faster. I remember that one day when Kon slammed shut the door to his room, his face contorted with anger; cheeks flushed and soaked my tears that refused to stop falling. I tried talking to him, but whenever I did, he would simply shake his head and walk away. That Christmas holiday was a disaster.

"Our father- he saw us kissing one night when Joseph dropped me to our father's house, you know, before the Christmas holiday. It turns out that despite being 2 am and the lights turned off, he was in the living room and saw every fucking thing. He banned me from seeing him, transferred me to another college and forced me to forget about Joseph. He took away my phone and he banned me from going to parties and living at the dorms. He even set up dates with his coworkers' daughters. You didn't know, of course, because father was careful not to let you know anything, possibly afraid that you'd make the same 'mistake' and choose to be gay, as he put it," he sighs." I remember one night of February, though, Valentine's Day, to be more precise. That night, I decided to tell him that I won't take over the company. That he can shove it up his ass, because it was never what I really wanted to do. I wanted to paint and play the guitar, maybe even write a novel- anything but that."

I feel myself nodding at him. I never knew he has been through so much. I've considered him to be a little prick who likes to go against father's good natured offers. Never have I been so wrong, though.

"So I did. And he got mad. He started yelling and calling me names. He even said he wished I hadn't been born. He told me you were the only true son, the straight normal son and that I was welcomed to walk out of that house and never come back. Or that I could stay, but follow his rules and stop being gay, as if someone can stop being gay. I told him that he can come visit me when he'll stop being hetero. So I grabbed my guitar and my paintings and out I was," Kon laughs bitterly at the memory and I can't help but look at him concerned.

Oh, the irony! I was anything but straight. I remember the night of February 15th, when father called me and told me I was taking over the company. You see, Kon and I went to different colleges to gain independence. Because of that, I never knew the truth about Kon.

Our father said that Kon rebelled against him and betrayed him. But I didn't want to run the company either. Back then, I only wanted to be a photographer and maybe, at the same time, a writer or an editor. At some point I was thinking of joining a band, because I had a good voice and it wouldn't hurt to aim to be a famous rock star.

I even remember my father going mad when I denied him and told him it wasn't my responsibility and I also remember two months later, when he apparently put spies on my back and they told him I was in a 'homosexual relationship with a lad named Christopher', as they put it and he was about to explode. He told me that I was a disgrace, that even Kon could do better and if it wasn't for his stubborn attitude, he'd run the fucking company.

But I was gay and he didn't want to accept it. So, unlike my brother, I gave up on my life. I did what I was told and started looking down on my brother. I even believed my father's words when he said the homosexuality is a choice and I made it my mantra. And now, many years later, I can't even begin to comprehend the mistake I've made. All the cheerfulness from two hours ago is starting to fade and melt into a mild headache.

"I don't mean to make you feel uncomfortable or disgusted, but I think you had the right to know the truth. I love men and if you can accept that, then we're good. But if you can't, I'm sorry, brother dear, but I am afraid this is our last conversation. I don't need to surround myself with people who can't accept me for who I am. I am not asking you to be gay, too; I am just asking you to under-…" I suddenly put my hand on his shoulder and look at him in the eye.

"It's fine, really. It's ok. I don't hate you. You're my brother and nothing you do will change that. Well, of course, unless you go cray-cray and murder someone because you thought it sounded like fun. Then we'll definitely have a problem, but I doubt we'll reach that point. I trust you and again…sorry for making you go through all of that alone. I could've been there for you, but I was too much of an uptight asshole to hear you out. And you what…you never stopped caring about me and that's what makes you the best brother in the world. You still try to take me out of the depressing shit I've got myself into. Working at the company sucks, I'll give you that. Those uncomfortable suits and those pompous asses…ughh," I shake my head.

"Wow…" his face and tone is filled with bewilderment and I can't help but give him a confused stare. "Man, you sure you are not watching chick-flick romances all night long, 'cuz now that was one touchy-feely speech you got there," he snickers and I roll my eyes at him, punching him on the shoulder over the table.

"Shut it, I don't watch chick-flicks all night. That's Shirosaki's job, not mine," I say. It takes me five seconds to realize that I've just mentioned _him_ casually to my brother who might or might not know the guy. Shit. "Anyway," I start, already chickening out, "I hope you heard me right, because I won't say it again," I clear my throat and start stuffing my face with cheesecake. Waay to be smooth, Ichigo.

"Sure," he tells me, a grin already forming on his lips. Shit. "Who's Shirosaki?" Where is the so called hole that swallows you in awkward situations when you actually need it? I take my time munching on the cheesecake before answering his question and I am sure that Kon understands what I am doing. Well, I am an idiot, after all.

"My neighbour," I confess in the end trying to seem calm and shit.

"Oh. And how'd you know his night habits? Is he… _loud_ about it?" he mocks me and grimace at him.

"Yeah, like hell," I whistles and wink at my brother and he starts laughing.

"And the real reason?" Of course he would not buy my crap. Sometimes I forget that this is my _twin_ I am talking to and that he knows me pretty damn well. Again, I wonder what he knows or rather what he doesn't know…

"Actually I dunno if he is loud or not, I don't even know the guy!" I don't even know why I lie, but truth is that I don't feel like explaining the whole situation right now.

"Ah. I see," he says in return.

"How's work?" I ask suddenly. Kon doesn't seem to be too tired and he can even joke so freely about pretty much everything. Working at the company drained me of any power I ever had and I ended up being a grumpy old man. At least, that's how I feel.

"Honestly? Funny," I frown. That's one wicked sense of humor he's got, I can't deny it. "Man, most of them are so stupid and so full of themselves! It's amusing and horrible at the same time. I am glad I went out of that door when dad gave me the ultimatum. I really feel sorry for you. Sure, I knew this job sucked balls, but after seeing it with my own eyes, it sucks even more. I don't know how you can put up with it," he shakes his head. "Your choice, brother, your choice," he says in a disapproving tone and I can't agree more. _And what a stupid choice!_ "What did you actually do in the past few days, watch pornos with your neighbour?" _Not really._ "Rukia called me all alarmed that you didn't pick up your phone and that Urahara didn't find you. I had to tell her the truth- that we had a fight and that you haven't picked up when I called you lately because of that. She was about to teleport herself here, but I told her, I was sure you were doing just fine. Maybe a bit sick, but ok."

"I wasn't watching pornos with my neighbour!" I instantly protest. Kon raises an eyebrow at me and gives me one of his unimpressed stares. "I just…I don't know, man. I don't. Not anymore. I'm tired of all this and I just need a break. I've been working my ass off so hard I didn't even realize I needed a break until I was forced to take one…well sort of," I sigh and finish my cheesecake. "I don't want to talk to Rukia, even though it's not her fault that I am always busy. Heck, she told me countless time to stop overworking myself, but I never listened. I just need some alone time. I don't want to go to work and argue with idiots all day. What I really want to do is sit back and enjoy life a little. I am too young to be all grumpy and shit. I need a break from pretty much everything. Your taking me out of the house that day was one of the best things you did to me and also the worst, because now I don't know what to do with my life. I am not blaming you, I am just confused and I know I might make no sense right now because I am just realizing these things, all at once," I huff.

"It's ok, Ichi. You make sense. Here's my advice. Let me deal with your company for a few more days. Meanwhile, you enjoy life and then go back to the company with an open mind. Try not to hate it in on an instant, nor love it. Then, after a while, you'll know what to do. You'll come up with a resolve and I am here for you. If you need anythin' just gimme a ring and we'll see what we'll do about it," he tells me after a while and I stop to consider his offer.

"Ok. Deal," he grins.

"That's my bro!" he says as we get up and he suddenly pulls me in one bone-breaking hug. "I missed ya, brother," and with that he pays and leaves. With a sigh, I make my exit the café too. _4:03 PM_. Good, time to make some calls…

**Beep-beep-beep. Beep-beep-bee-…**

" _Kuchiki Rukia speaking,"_ the tired feminine voice says on the other end.

"Hello, Rukia. It's me, Ichigo," I say as I sit in my car outside the café in which I've been with Kon.

"Ichigo, thank God! Are you ok? Why didn't you pick up your phone or answer the door?" she starts bombarding me with question and I can't help but internally sigh. I knew she'd react like this, dammit. No wonder I didn't feel like calling her…

"I was a bit feverish and I didn't hear the knock on the door nor the phone, but I am better now. No need to worry," I say as calmly as I can and I can hear her sigh in relief on the other end.

"That's good. Oh, Ichigo, I was so worried! I was about to come back if I didn't hear anything positive today," she confesses and I silently congratulate myself for calling her. _Damn, woman, I wasn't dying, just taking a day off._ But she doesn't know that and she doesn't need to know that. _**Among other things, too, eh?**_ A darker voice of my conscience mocks me and I instantly try to ignore it.

"Sorry for worrying you. I'm all fine. Though I will let Kon do my job for a while. It seems that I've been overworking myself and that I need a break," I explain to her to avert possible future crisis.

"No, no, it's ok. Take all the time you need. Take care, hun. I have to go," she says suddenly hurrying, probably because she is supposed to start her lessons.

"Ok. You too, babe," and I hung up the phone and smash my head against the steering wheel, guilt taking over my heart. I've just lied to Rukia, again, when the poor girl is simply worried about my stupid ass. She could lose her job if she left. _ **I need a drink. Or even two, who knows…**_

**To be continued…**


	13. Your Highness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's club time and Grimmjow's a strange guy.

_"I saw my house on fire…"_ -Tango with Lions

**New York City, NY, United States**

**Monday, August 20th, 2012**

**5:26 PM**

**Ichigo's P.O.V.:**

Currently sitting and honking my car in front of Shirosaki's house isn't what I would like to do right now, but being the idiot I am, I forgot to ask him for his phone number, so there I am. I hope he isn't out already, because I really need a drinking partner I case I go all wild and creative- last time I did, I ended up in the other part of the city, with one hot girl by my side and her boyfriend too, both of them being as wasted as I was, but that was before Rukia. And just before I decide to get out of the car and knock at his door, he comes out, anger clearly contorting his face, with nothing but a towel around his waist. Damn, this guy sure showers a lot.

"What?!" he yells before seeing me. "Oh, Ichi. I thought ya were someone else," he starts apologizing, but I don't really make a move. "Don't just stay there 'n' stare like a lil' stalker, come in," he says before going inside and the next thing I know, I am, yet again, in his hallway. "Ya surprised me; I didn't expect to hear from ya so soon. Everythin' fine?" suddenly, his voice is laced with mild concern and I shake my head in disapproval.

"Everything's peachy. We sorted out everything we had to and now we are back to being best twins or something," I lean on the wall, hands on my pockets, as he is off in the bathroom, probably changing.

"Good. Told ya," he shouted from the other room and yet again I shake my head. I am going to get muscles on my neck if this keeps going. I know it. "What about the chick? Didja talk to her yet?"

"Yeah. I told her that I was too feverish to hear her calls and the knocks on the door, but that I am fine now," I yell at him and again, the guilt washes over me again.

"Oh, and did she believe ya?" comes his question in a strange voice that I can't quite recognize.

"Yeah," I tell him and now he is out of the bathroom, dressed in black skinny jeans, black tank top and black boots. A heavy chain is attached to his pants, making metallic noises whenever he moves and another, smaller and lighter chain stands around neck with a metallic empty nametag attached to it; the necklace, if I can call it that, almost reaches, what I believe, is his belly and all I have to say is that I really wish I had stayed home or went alone to some bar to put out my sudden thirst for copious quantities of alcohol. Here I am, trying to forget about my little gender crisis, and all he does is walk around all sexy and mighty like owns the fucking place, which he actually does, but…but he shouldn't be allowed to bring out the worst of me! He is my friend and I shouldn't be ogling him like some sex-starved teenage boy, I can't help but do it and do it shamelessly for minutes every time he is around. I mean, who gave him the right to fuck with my brain here?

"So any particular reason ya were honkin' like ye house caught on fire?" he asks, obviously having enough of my not-so-innocent stare. "Not that I mind ya dropping by, but I got shit to do, places to be," he adds seeing as I don't respond.

"My brother offered to run the company for a few more days so I could go out and have some fun, because, honestly, I haven't done that enough in the past I-don't-even-know-how-many years. So after I talked to Rukia, I thought giving you a ring and asking you to hang out, but I realized I was stupid enough not to ask your phone number, so yeah…Sorry if I am interrupting you. If you have anythin-…"

"Stop right there. I am not busy, ya are coming with me, period," he interrupts me and grabs my hand to drag me God knows where, because we are not heading to the front door. I open my mouth to say something, but he puts one of his long fingers on my lips, sealing them. "Shh... Just come," he shushes me and I open my mouth yet again after his fingers are gone to say something, but he is having none of that. "No, don't say it," and with that I am pushed in room I haven't been in before.

"What are we do-…"

"Oh, can't ya shut up for a minute?" he half shouts out of exasperation. "Sheesh, dammit, yer just like a woman sometimes, yanno," he rolls his eyes before opening a door to a new, smaller room filled with clothes. "I can't have ya go out dressed like this. We are the same height and size, well almost, and my clothes usually suit you just well," he explains from the closet as he is throwing different outfits on his bed. "I bet ya only have boring suits and two or three more fancy suits, but nothing worth wearing in a more casual place, am I right?" Damn, am I really that easy to be read? "I'll take that as a yes. Geez, Ichi, yer brother's right. Ya should loosen up a bit or ya might end up wrinkly and surrounded by five hundred cats before ya reach forty!"

"Hey, that's a bit farfetched even for me!" I huff in protest as I sit on his bed. "And I have a girlfriend, you know, so I am not going to be surrounded by cats any time soon," I add contemplating about starting a pillow fight with him. He would deserve some serious smacking, but I'm not about to do something as girly as this.

"Ya say that fer now, but if ya keep bein' an uptight lil' shit, she'll leave ya and being the stupid guy ya are, ya won't even look fer someone else and end up surrounded by cats," he says as he is out of his closet (no pun intended… or maybe… ;) ) with two more outfits in his hands.

"That's balls. And it's not like you are oh-so-dating someone, so you shouldn't accuse me of things I don't do and won't do," I point out and I suddenly come to regret it, because, yet again, his pale lips curl in a full-time, mind-blowing, heart-fluttering grin that slightly reveals his oh-so-perfect sharp white teeth.

"Who said I was single, Ichi, babe?" I instantly want to throw a pillow at his mug face for giving me such a girly shitty nickname. "Have ya been stalking me from your window to know that?" he said teasingly getting closer to me and for a second I even had a panic attack. But of course he wouldn't know about your little hallucination, you fool. And in no way does he know that you even jerked off thinking about his supposedly half striptease you think you saw that night at the Pyramid. Get a grip of yourself, moron, or you'll lose the only friend you've got.Sometimes my conscience is smarter than me, I have to admit.

"Sure, because I haven't got anything worth to do than stalk you in order to find out whether you are single or not. Unlike someone here, I don't stick my nose where it doesn't belong, you know," I state simply and as calmly as I can. "And of course I'd be interested in you, because you are effing hot and make my legs go jelly-o and my pants seem tight all of sudden. No offence or anything, but I don't swing that way," with an even more steady, calm and collected cool tone I continue my little speech and he raises his eyebrows for a second before rolling his eyes.Keep lying to yourself, Ichigo, because that's what mature men do! And that's when my conscience goes more stupid than me.

"Yeah, mister-I'm-all-mature-and-shit, I get it," he snorts. "Yer too good fer me," he concludes and I immediately scowl at him.

"Sorry to burst your bubble, but I don't swing that way," I repeat and he starts laughing. Like really loud and all of sudden.

"Ya should've seen yer face! It was priceless," he says, his arms suddenly wrapped around his stomach and I snort at him. "It was a joke, dude, a little innocent joke," Shirosaki tells me after he calms down, tears in his eyes while I am giving him one of my unamused stares. "It's a shame, tough," he says as a matter of fact and my frown is back on my face, "we would have made such a great couple," he teases, his tantalizing grin back on his face again and I can't help but instantly face-palm at his dumbness. "Oh, shut it, ya'd love it, believe me," and there he goes with his tremendous ego. "Well, yer loss, not mine," he concludes while shrugging and putting the outfits on the pile that formed on his bed.

"Yeah, sure, whatever floats your boat, buddy," I say giving up. He is too much to handle, I'm telling you. "So…what do you have in mind? Care to share your thought, oh you Mighty and Wise one?" I tease him and he wiggles his eyebrows suggestively at me.

"A club, Ichi. I was planning to go to a club, find a nice anything and have a fantastic night before ya came to my door. But now that yer here, it's even better, 'cuz I don't have to fish for some company that might or might not disappoint me at the end of the day. So I say we get yer prissy ass dressed 'n' we hit a club or two, get wasted, maybe even laid, well just me because I tend to forget I'm with Mr. Committed tonight and make our way back home, possibly pass out on the couch or something," he describes his plans for tonight, making little gestures with his hands, probably to make it sound more dramatic and I can't help but laugh a little at the sight in front of me. This guy would be so easy to talk to if he wasn't all so cocky 90% of the time. "Sounds good to you, your Highness?" again, the British accent and mocking tone.

"Yes, peasant, it actually sounds marvelous!" again my bossy tone shows and he starts shaking his head in an amused disapproval.

And that's how I end up wearing black skinny jeans and a black tank top and thankfully a red checked shirt on top, after my constant bitching about how naked I felt being dressed just like him. Sure, he didn't refrain from making the kind of faces that would scream what-the-actual-fuck, but he let me be in the end and I can't be happier. He is still shaking his head in disapproval whenever he looks at me.

"Yer such a prude, dude," he announces once we are sitting in his car and I punch him on his shoulder.

"Am not!"

"Are too, end of the discussion. We've got places to be, people to charm. Or just me, but anyway," and with that we take off and he's back with his mad driving skills. I must reconsider my reasons of befriending him, I'm telling you; he's such a brute. Handsome brute, but still, that would count as another reason of staying as far from him as possible. Well, bad news for you, honey, because I don't see you getting away from him too soon. Is there a button that can switch off my frustrating conscience? Because it really started getting on my nerves…

After what seemed like ages, we got out of the car- and let me tell you, I've been so happy to be on ground again- and now we are facing an enormous queue to enter the fucking club.

"Are you sure this is a good idea?" I ask suddenly, my voice filled with concern. I really hope we are not about to stand in line the whole night.

"Don't worry. I got this," and with that he grabs me by my hand and drags me through the crowd, inevitably earning us a few weird stares, some insults, curses here and there and a couple of nasty scowls, which make me scowl back ten times harder and it puts the little shits back. In a matter of minutes, we are face to face to the fat guard who is blatantly looking at us from head to toe. Shirosaki leans in and whispers something to the man ear, suddenly the man's eyebrow shot up in surprise and Shirosaki draws back, his free hand in his pocket, then it's out with some card and poof! the man smiles and nods before letting us in. The next thing I now, we are in the middle of the packed room his hand still holding mine, while we make our way through the crowd.

In the blue, green, pinkish lights of the club and while wearing those clothes, Shirosaki looks a few years younger than he looked the other day, at his restaurant. Way more younger and less otherworldly, but still otherworldly, because he just is. I mean, one day he is booking us tickets to go see a play, the next one he pulls some strings and gets us in a modern sort of club. And this fascinates me to no extent. Just how many faces does this man possess? Will I ever see all of them? And suddenly, in this alcohol drenched, smoke-soaked and sinful room, I am having an epiphany that comes faster and hits me harder than a Japanese train. I want to stay around and find out every effing thing about this man that is shamelessly holding my hand at random times, including now. I wish this thought, this feeling or whatever this wrong and strange urge this is, would vanish, would perish as fast as it came, but instead, it makes home of my thoughts for the rest of the evening, constantly popping in my mind when I think I escaped its hungry, nonexistent eyes.

A few pushes, cursing and scowls later, we are sitting at a table in the corner of the room, a place a tad bit more shielded by the eventual unwanted eyes. For now, it's just us, Shirosaki and me, sitting across each other at the table, each with a drink in his hand. He is having something soft at the beginning, "'cuz the night is young, yanno" and that's why he is hold a glass full of whiskey. How is that soft, I don't even know, but I don't question it as I go for an actual soft and plain drink: beer. Just plain ol' beer. Sure, Shirosaki's giving me his disapproving stares now and then again, but mostly he is too busy scanning the people in the club.

"We should dance," he suddenly states like it's some sort of revelation and stands up, coming in front of me blocking my escape. "Don't chicken out on me, yer brother's working in yer place so ya can have fucking fun, not sit around and mope over God knows what goes on your mind at the moment. Save the sour moods for yer bitches at office, this is a club," there he goes all bitchy on me, but as much as I hate admitting it, he's right, so I nod at him. "Well, finish yer shit, we're burning all this fat!" he announced pointing an index at my belly and I scowl.

"I am not fat!" I yell in protest and he gives me one of his yeah-sure faces. "Jerk," I mutter under my breath and thankfully he doesn't quite catch this. So the moment I am done with my beer, he grabs both of my hands and drags me to dance with him. And then it hits me that I have forgotten how to dance so I stand awkwardly in the middle of the room, doing nothing.

"I'll take that as an 'I am not drunk enough' so I insist ya drink something stronger or I might force ya dance all sober 'n' believe me, ya wouldn't want that," he whispers darkly as soon as he looks at me and see me look around nervously. So he buys me two shots of tequila. And damn, they taste good…!

Ten minutes later and another two beers, I seem have forgotten about my previous stupid inhibitions, because right now I don't mind dance in the middle of the room, fully aware of the hungry stares I am receiving from both chicks and dudes. Shirosaki is dancing with some chick somewhere, I don't know, because I have lost sight of him about two minutes ago, but it doesn't even bother me, I'm feeling too good to even care about that. I hope he's just as well as I am, because it would be a shame to be the only one to have fun in here, when he came up with the idea of coming here in the first place.

Twenty minutes later and another shot of tequila, plus a little bathroom session, I am again in the middle of the room, this time with a red-haired chick pressing against me, a missing Shirosaki and I still don't give a fuck about pretty much anything. And it feels fucking good. The chick is named Orihime or something, I didn't quite hear it because she talks so low and the music is so loud, but it doesn't matter, because I'm too happy to care.

One hour later, after more bathroom sessions and a couple of vodka shots, I can be found again in the middle of the room, this time with another chick pressed against me. She has green hair and green eyes and she seems like a real cutie. She tells me her name, but I don't bother paying attention and soon another blonde chick joins us. Shirosaki is still not around, but that's still fine.

Ten minutes later, both the chicks are gone. The blonde one flirted with the green one and suddenly they are together making out at a table, but it doesn't bother me at all. If anything I am smiling and pointing my thumbs to the high ceiling and they do the same to me, before going on with their business. My stupid neighbour is still gone missing.

Probably half an hour later, after even more many shots of vodka, I am suddenly approached by a brunette dude that I haven't seen in my life, but who looks a lot like me and nothing stops him from blatantly flirting with me. I don't really care, but soon he is shoved off of me by an angry Shirosaki. The dude is about to punch Shirosaki when I suddenly wrap my arms around him in a welcoming hug.

"There you are," I say loud enough for him to hear and Shirosaki gives a confused stare and I start laughing. "I thought you ditched me, man" I explained and I realized that my stalker was gone, probably flirting with some other dude, but again, I couldn't care less.

"Nah, I wouldn't do that," he tells me, his killer grin back on his lips again and for a second my heart skips a beat. Damn. "Having fun, aren't we?" he teases as he starts dancing.

"Well, the doc said I had to," I say in a hands-down, I'm-innocent sort of tone and he snickers.

"The doc knows his stuff," he states and I wink at him.

The song suddenly changes and I can't even complain, because my body seems to know what to do, even though I don't recall knowing this song, but hey, who gives a fuck? Compared to the other songs until now, this one is more…how should I put this? Sensual would be a way, if it weren't fucking dubstep, but I hope you get what I'm saying. I'm off in my La-la-land when I feel two firm arms grab my hips and I suddenly look up to see Shirosaki fixing me with a steady gaze while he starts moving at the same time with me.

My breath hitches instantly at our proximity, because having his hard body slightly pressed against me and those gorgeous eyes staring only at me and at me only is not something one can simply overlook, ignore. In a desperate attempt to escape from the dangerous field my minds seems to be slipping into, I try to think of Rukia and how hard she must be working now, how she worries about me, but one single stare into those damned eyes and I'm doomed- all I can think about is what is in front of me and that is no other than guiltiest and the more addicting sin on legs, Shirosaki Hichigo, the man who almost never seem to leave my mind.

"Yer quite a dancer, aren't ya?" he whispered in my ear, again sending unwanted signals to my brain, which causes my breath to quicken.

"You could say," I mumble. "I used to be, at least, back in the old days when I was known for being a party animal and I wasn't known for nothing," I confess and I don't even know why I do tell him all this, but I do anyway.

"Oh, is that so?" he asks, but it isn't really a question. Even so, I gave him a small nod. "Then how did ya end up like this socially awkward guy who might change his Facebook status from in a relationship with Rukia to married to work any day?" he inquires and I stifle a laughter.

"Life happened," I say simply. Drunk or not, I don't give away much information about me, so suck it up. Another 'sensual' song begins and Shirosaki is still holding me, dancing against me, swaying those hips against me and it's getting hard for me to think straight, because let's face it. I'm drunk and sexually frustrated and this guy who is so smoking hot is all over me and well, I feel like kissing him hungrily at least. And it's taking me all my willpower not to jump him here and now.

"How 'bout we restore that fun-crazed person ya used to be, eh? I take ya out every week, we have fun, forget about every day shit and cope with the mother of all hangovers the next day?" he proposes in my ear. I swear it's like he's begging me to lose my composure and kiss him fiercely right him and right now. But I don't do it. I have to refrain from doing stupid things to my only friend, who also happens to be male.

"Sounds like a plan to me," I must confess that my voice sounds a bit lower and huskier than before. Damn, he's killing me. If things go on like this, I'll soon have monster boner to explain to him and I don't want this to happen. "Gotta pee," and with that I make my excuse to run away before I do something utterly stupid and friendship also life wrecking.

Five minutes later I am back in the room and Shirosaki welcomes me with a blue drink that I drink all at once without hesitation. He seems satisfied with my deed and we head to dance again. This time a more aggressive song is being played but we are fine with that and he doesn't miss the chance to rock his body against mine now and then.

"No way, man!" a rather familiar voice call from behind. "Ichi, is that you?" I turn to look at the stranger and I met by a pair of baby blue eyes and shocking blue hair that sticks everywhere.

"Grimmjow," I mutter breathlessly. "What are you doing here?" I stop dancing and ask him.

"I could ask you the same thing? Weren't you against parties 'cuz their so bad for thy purity?" he mocks and I roll my eyes.

"What are you, my mother? It's none of your business," I hiss and he laughs.

"Well, glad to see ya too," he mocks.

"Wait, ya two know each other?" Shirosaki suddenly interrupts us and I turn to look at him.

"Yeah, kinda. Wait, you know him?" I say pointing at the bluenette who smirks devilishly at me like he knows something I don't and definitely should…or shouldn't considering this is Grimmjow we are talking about.

"Hell, yeah, I do!" they say at the same time while hugging each other and slapping their backs at the same time. Oh, no, two beasts like them being friends it's anything but not good omen. I'm out of here. "Where do ya think yer going, Ichi?" they say at unison and I freeze on the spot.

"Bathroom," I lie.

"Nonsense, ya just came from there. Come on, don't be shy! Let us have a nice talk at a table!" Shirosaki grabs my hand and drags me to one free table. Again, where the hole that is supposed to eat you whole when you most need it? Still not here. "So how come ya know each other?" Shirosaki asks, but I don't know if he's talking to me or Grimmjow.

"Well, it's kinda fun story," the bluenette begins and all I want to do is crawl up in a ball and die. "I officially met him a few days ago, when Kon brought him to Death + Co., but I've known him for longer. We went to the same high school and he was such a different kid, I didn't even recognize him when I saw him a few years later. He used to die his hair in different colours, like green and blue and he even went redhead for a while. He had so many piercings and from what I've heard he did them himself. All of them. And he has tattoos. Or at least used to have them, because I am not sure anymore. Damn, he was a whole different person and although he always had that scowl on his face, which I can see he still does, he was a lot nicer and funnier. But we weren't friends. I just happened to see him here and there and hear a rumor or two about him. I had other business to attend than to befriend him."

"Thanks for talking about me like I'm not here," I mumble darkly and scowl at him.

"Oh, shut it, princess. The person I am talkin' about is long gone," he immediately backfired and if anything my scowl deepen. "Yeah, keep borin' holes through my skull, it won't get you wrinkly before you eve age thirty," he mocks and I roll my eyed unimpressed.

"Wow, ya were so different," Shirosaki says and I sigh in defeat.

"Well, shit happens. My brother refused to take over and our father kind of forced it on me, so I took over the company instead. The sad thing about it is that I thought that changing my attitude was a must-do and I ended up like this at twenty-something," I mumble suddenly finding the wooden table a very interesting object to stare at.

"That sucks, but yer father's gone, so ya can do whatever ya want. Yer free, Ichigo, never forget that," Shirosaki suddenly says and I throw him a dumbstruck look. "Don't tell me ya haven't realized that…" Silence. "Ichi?" Even more silence. "Unbelievable! Yanno, as sharp as ya may be, sometimes yer so fucking blind," he shakes his head in disapproval and I shrug.

"Have ya talked to Kon yet?" Grimmjow suddenly butts in and I turn to look at him before nodding. "Oh. And are ya two good now?" Another nod. "Awesome. So yer finally accepting ye-…"

"No," I cut him off abruptly and his blue eyes go wide. "There's nothing to accept, Grimmjow, you misunderstood me, although only God knows why," I say.

"Really? Chris wouldn't agree with that," he tells me casually and I frown. "Oh, please. I told ya I know ya. We even went to the same college, but don't get your hopes up, my father forced me to go there, I wasn't chasing ya like a maiden in love or anythin'." I gulp down dryly.

"Peachy," I manage to mumble.

"Who is this Chris person?" Of course Shirosaki has to ask.

"Long story," I cut in immediately.

"Yeah, long story short, he was…" I suddenly punch the table interrupting him.

"Was none of your fucking business, Grimmjow," I say a fake smile creeping on my lips.

"Whoa there, tiger. Calm down," Shirosaki interrupts putting a hand on my shoulder in order to attempt to calm me down. "Grimmjow, leave the poor kid alone, he clearly doesn't want to talk about it," Shirosaki tells him off in serious voice.

"Ok. Fine. But I bet he hasn't told ya stuff he should've. Don't start bitching around after ya found out," Grimmjow bites back, clearly displeasing about being put off. "Oh, there's my cue to leave," he says suddenly, pointing at a raven-haired guy behind us. "Have fun, love birds," he waves his hand playfully before disappearing in the crowd.

"He is something, ain't he?" Shirosaki asks, his thoughts clearly in some other merry place. I find myself nodding at his not really a question.

"Look, Shirosaki, I-…"

"Save it, Berry," he interrupts me in kind of a harsh tone and I flinch slightly. "I get it. It's not something ya wanna talk about. And I don't really blame ya, I dunno what happened, but it clearly still affects ya so if ya ever need a shoulder or somethin', here's my number," he reaches for his phone and writes his number on it so I can copy it. I nod and do as I am told, adding my number in his contacts as well. "Good."

"Thanks again and sorry. Just two people really know what happened back then. One of them is me and the other is dead, so you do the math," I explain myself to him, although I know I shouldn't. "Let's get out of here, take me wherever you want, but take me away and get me so drunk that tomorrow morning I'll be constantly asking myself the cliché question every person with a hangover would ask themselves: "what happened last night?". It's time I live a little or so I've heard," I grin at him and he grins back, clearly pleased with my demands.

"Aye, King!" And with that he grabs my hand and we are off the Never Land.

**To be continued…**


	14. Bottoms Up!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Drunken escapades at their finest! Shirosaki and Ichigo might or might have not gotten engaged. Also, baby pandas.

_"Baby, did you forget to take your meds?_

_I was alone, falling free, trying my best not to forget…"-Meds,_ Placebo

**San Francisco, United States,**

**Wednesday, August 22nd, 2012**

**1:13 PM**

**Ichigo's P.O.V.:**

With a groan I push myself up. My eyes are half closed and my I have a monster of headache. I try to look around me, but the room is spinning mercilessly and soon I am again with my back pressed against something smooth and furry. My eyes snap open in an instant and I try focusing my blurry vision.

"Holy mother of…" I curse under my breath as I try to stand up in my feet. Taking in my surroundings, my heart starts to pace faster. "What the fuck happened last night?"The room is large and the walls are white. There's a TV that is turned on a porno channel, eww, gross. The floor is covered in mostly mud by the entrance, oh look there is some clean beige floor too and those are…Shirosaki's clothes. It feels chilly in here all of sudden. Huh, strange. Anyway, I should go turn off the TV; I feel like puking when I look at that busty blonde girl faking her moans like a whore…oh, wait, she is a whore. Disgusting! Anyway, I manage to turn off the TV in the end, but now I wish I hadn't.

In the blackness of the screen, I can see myself sporting Adam's costume and…what the fuck is that behind me? Slowly, I turn to look at whatever may be behind my back and the last thing I see is the colour orange. After that, everything's black…

**Los Angeles, United States,**

**Friday, August 24th, 2012**

**4:56 PM**

Ughh…My neck hurts like a bitch and my eyes refuse to open. I am surrounded by a very unpleasant smell and something wet. I don't know what happened, I swear. Rubbing my eyes with my hands for a couple of minutes, I try to stand up but I soon slip back and I try to hold onto something immediately. And that's when my eyes snap open.

"Jesus!" I nearly scream, but actually that's all in my head. My throat hurt and no word would come out. I'm half naked, in a bathtub, in a bathroom I do not recognize. Holy shit! Is that a wet panda on the floor? I try to scream, but nothing would come out of my mouth. Dammit! The huge bear looks curiously at me and I try not to panic. It doesn't move nor do I. I blink, it blinks. I move slightly to the right so does it. The hell…? I slowly try to get out of the bathtub, but it jumps from its spot and growls and I am so scared that I fall on my back and all I see is black…

**Las Vegas, United States,**

**Sunday, August 26th, 2012**

**8:02 PM**

"Dude, ya ok?" Someone is shaking me, but I want them to stop. I wanna sleep, like seriously sleep. "Come on, dude, don't pass out on me," wait. I know this voice. But where have I heard it? Ughh…why is it so hard to remember? I don't even remember what I am supposed to be doing now. Well…I guess I can take nice nap, then. "Fuck, man, you asked for it," and with that my disturber is gone. Good. Lemme sleep, you big bad guy! And I am about to drift off to sleep when something impossibly cold and wet hits.

"Whadda fuck, man?!" I mumble waking up. "Not cool!" I shout, my voice hoarse and my vision blurry as fuck.

"Served ya right, asshole," the other one retorts. I frown. What the fuck happened last night? What day is this anyway? I feel like I've been asleep forever. "Anyway, it's time we get moving, Shuuhei is on our asses," he says. Where have I heard that name? It sounds so familiar…

"Shuuhei…?" I ask in a confused voice.

"Yeah, man, Shuuhei," the other man is getting impatient and he grabs me by my arm trying to make me stand on my feet.

"Wait, who are you?"

"Seriously, man? Rub yer fuckin' eyes and wake up, we gotta move until he finds us." I do as I am told and in front of me stands a very annoyed Shirosaki who happens to be dressed in beach clothes.

Am I missing something? Also, this place doesn't look familiar in the very least. Why am I such a tight dark narrow closet? What am I doing in the fucking closet? OH MY GOD! Why am I wearing a pink tutu? Dear Lord of Sweet Macaroni, please tell me this is a dream!

"Change that shit and put on these. Faster, mate, we don't have all night!" he snaps throwing a pair of dark blue jeans and a black shirt. I try to stand up, but I hurt my head in the process. "Oh, God, yer helpless! Lemme help ya," he says and extends his hand and I take it. He helps me stand up on my feet. "Now change." But I don't make a move. "Oh, no, don't gimme one of your prudish speeches now. I've seen ya naked plenty of times these days so shut it and get changed. NOW." He is almost shouting by now, his tone more serious than I've ever heard, but I can't help but open my mouth to ask hi-… "No, ya shut up yer cakehole, sweetie, 'cuz I swear I will shut ya up myself if ya don't and I don't think ya want that!" He glares at me and points his index at me.

I sigh and comply, for now. I change my clothes quickly, trying to ignore the fact that I'm in the same room as him and he might or might not be watching me change. I have so many questions and not only for him, but for myself too! I mean, I can't even remember what I last remember! It's all a blur and I have a really bad feeling about this, whatever  _this_ is. "Good, now let's go," and with that he grabs my hand and we storm out of the room.

The hallway looks luxurious and I am really starting to freak out, but his grip is made of iron and I can't pull away. People in expensive getups and that rich air around them are all over the place. We take the elevator and press the button for the ground floor. 32 floors? What the hell is going on here? I want to ask him about what happened but there are two other men and a woman with us in the elevator and I refrain from asking questions.

Whatever happened, it can't be good.

Soon we are out of the elevator and we storm out of the, what I suppose, is a hotel. The air is pleasant and the sun is setting already. He opens the back door of a black car and enters it before trying to drag me after him. That's it when a sudden numbness takes over my head and I feel like my system is shutting down.

"Shit!" I hear Shirosaki curse loudly and I'm out…

**Miami, Florida, United States**

**Tuesday, August 28th, 2012**

**9:16 AM**

The soft and delicious scent of cinnamon invades my nostrils. I love cinnamon. It's sweet and spicy at the same time, neither girly nor manly. And then, there is the strong smell of freshly ground coffee that won't stop nagging me along with fried bacon and eggs. My eyes snap open and I am met with the view of an unknown white ceiling.

"Oh, glad yer finally awake, princess," Shirosaki says from the other side of the king-sized bed. I shift uncomfortably under the blankets. I don't remember changing myself in this polka dotted blue pajamas that I don't recall buying in the first place and I don't remember getting in a bed with Shirosaki. Please tell me I haven't done something really, really stupid. Also, this doesn't look like one of Shirosaki's rooms, but then again I haven't seen his entire house. "How's yer head? I made ya breakfast," he says putting a plate that has been moments ago on a wooden white nightstand on his side. I eye the bacon and the eggs suspiciously for a while, but I don't know why. What am I expecting? The bacon jumping on me or the eggs professing their undying love to me? "Eat. It's just food, it ain't gonna bite ya- it's supposed to be the other way round," he teases me and I nod taking a bite of the food he brought me. Damn, this is good. Definitely Shirosaki's cooking. I don't even know why I hesitated.

"My head's ok, I guess. My neck, my back and my left hip hurt though and I can't really recall why," I mumble staring at the closed white door of the rather small room. Why the hell is everything so fucking white around here? It feels like a hospital, but this isn't a hospital, that much I can tell.

"Oh, I see," he says in a strange almost disappointed voice. I frown slightly at my plate. "What's the last thing ya remember?" he asks all of sudden and I snap my attention to him. Shirosaki isn't looking at me, instead he is studying his fingers pretty intently, constantly cleaning the nonexistent dirt under his nails.

"That's the thing…I don't know," I confess in a calm tone. I know I should be alarmed, but as strange as it sounds, I am not.

"That's just great!" he huffs. "Do ya at least remember yer name?"

"Uhh…yeah. I am Kurosaki Ichigo and I took over my father's company a few years ago," I say. "I have a girlfriend, not many friends if actually none at all and…oh, you are Shirosaki Hichigo, my neighbour and my friend, possibly the only one. Rukia is not home and I remember the bet, the nights spent at Death + Co., lying to Rukia, barging into your house asking for your help, then we spent two days going places, then I had a long discussion with my brother that we should've had a long time ago, then I talked to Rukia and I lied to her again. After that I barged into your house again and you gave me your clothes and we went to a club…Uh, oh, THE club," I suddenly remember how we managed to sneak in that club. "I danced, we danced, we met Grimmjow who pissed me off and then I asked you to get me out of there. I can't remember anything else," I tell him in a resigned tone.

"Well, yer memory is half good, half shit," he starts complaining. "'n' before ya start with the questions, lemme check something," he stops me in advance as if sensing I was about to bombard him with questions. "Do ya have any idea what day is today?" I stop to think, but I can't possibly know for sure. "I'll take that as a no. It's Tuesday, Ichigo, August 28th." My heart stops for a moment here.

Say what?

"What? How?" I ask breathlessly. "What happened last week?" I think I have every right in the world to panic. This is no usual hangover. It's one to wake up and wonder what you did the other night, but it's something completely different to wake up and ask yourself what happened last week.

"Long story or short?" he says suddenly seeming very tired and I gulp down dryly. If I weren't so hungry, I would've lost my appetite already.

"Try me," I say munching on my food, now while I still like doing it.

"Ok, but before I start, can ya guess where we are?" I stop yet again to think.

"Do I wanna know?" I've meant it as a joke, but he scoffs.

"No, I don't think so, but I'm gonna tell ya anyway. We are in Miami, Ichigo," he informs and I drop my fork. It's one to wake up on the other side of the city and another to wake up in a completely different state! "Yes, it's that bad and it's only the beginning so hold on tight 'cuz after I'm done I don't know what'll happen," he tells me in a gloomy voice.

"Shirosaki…" I start in a soft voice, but he interrupts me like he always does.

"Don't. Just…" he pauses, probably unsure of what to tell me next. "Please don't hate me tha' much. I know ye'll hate me, but please, don't…Ughh, it's useless. I'll simply tell ya," he shakes his head, still refusing to look at me and I frown. What could have possibly happened to cause him act like this shy, unsure and guilty guy? That's not his style from what I recall. "Anyway, after ya told me to take ya out of that club, we went to another club on the other side of the city and I asked the barman, who was a great friend of mine, to make us one of his 'grenades' because we wanted to get sloshed for good. And so he did. And ya liked it very much, so did I, but I was used to his drinks and I was an idea more sober than ya. Ya, on the other hand, went crazy and danced like I've never seen anyone dance. I danced with ya and occasionally drove away the guys that tried to flirt with ya. I don't wanna burst yer bubble, but not only ya were like a magnet for assholes who wanted to bang ya, but ya also didn't make an effort to push them away. Anyway, I blamed the alcohol and rescued yer precious virgin ass."

"Uhh…thanks. And sorry," I mumble and he waves his hand in the air, gesturing 'it was nothing'. "I get a bit wild while drunk…"

"A bit wild? Boy, that's an understatement, but we'll get there," he says shaking his head in disapproval as if trying to shake off some thoughts that are really bothering him. "Anyway, ya got bored of that place after a while and came up with this 'marvelous idea', as ya put it; ya thought that leaving the city for a day won't kill us and being drunk too and bored out of my mind, I agreed almost as enthusiastic as ya were. But ya weren't having just any place close to New York, no, sir, no. Ya wanted to go to San Francisco." I think by now my eyes are as big as the eggs that are left untouched in my plate. What?!

"San Francisco?" I ask bewildered. "Why?"

"Beats me. But ya seemed really fixed on the idea so we went to the airport and bought ourselves tickets. While we waited for our departure, ya were bouncing up and down in the waiting room, making faces at the small kids that started to cry because of ya and ya even angered an old woman who started beating ya with her can. The guards were about to take ya, but I managed to calm ya down before anything wild happened," he sighs and by now my cheeks flush with embarrassment. Just how much did I drink that night? "Anyway, ya managed to fall asleep during our flight and I slept too, so no funny incidents while up in the air. But as soon as we landed, ya started complaining about yer huge headache and ya said that only more alcohol would make it go away. Being almost as hammered as ya, I agreed and after we checked in at a five star hotel in San Francisco, we went out drinking. I don't know how much we drank, but there was a lot of it, anyway. We met a crazy ass group of chicks that wouldn't stop flirting with us and we agreed to hang out in some other place. One of them, a very, very intoxicated redhead wanted to get a tattoo, probably to impress ya, I dunno, and so we all went with her. And she got a tattoo above her almost nonexistent boob."

"I remember this one!" I cry out in surprise and he raises his eyebrows at me.

Flashback

"Come on, man! Ya can do better than that!" Shirosaki cheered loudly on the petite redhead woman who was on the verge of crying her eyes while getting a tribal dragon tattoo above her left boob.

"Leave 'er alone, Shiro. Ya 'ave no idea how much that hurts," I mumbled under my breath, trying to stand on my feet by leaning on the wall. The other three girls- two brunettes and a bluenette- were looking sympathetically at their poor brave friend.

"How would ya know that, huh? Yer too much of a sissy ta have any tattoos," Shirosaki scoffed and the brunettes tried to stifle a laughter, but they fail at doing so and soon they were laughing their asses off.

"I had tattoos. Grimmjow told ya. I just had them removed- they didn't suit my job," I explained rolling my eyes at all of them.

"Yer job this, yer job that," he suddenly burst. "I'm so done with yer crappy job that even ya can't stand," he retorts sarcastically. "Ya'll sit on that table and 'retattoo' yer fuckin' body or I'll pin ya down to it and do it myself and, believe me when I say, ya wouldn't want me ta do that, mate!" he snapped all of sudden, throwing daggers with his glare.

"I'd like to see ya try, asshole," I provoked him on a purpose, a grin on my lips and I could see with the corner of my eye the looks the girls changed between themselves.

"Oh, yer so dead, Ichi, I swear. I hope yer prepared 'cuz I am going to ink that precious skin of yers," he threatens and I scoff, rolling my eyes. The fat, short tattoo artist was probably just high himself because he didn't even mind our crazy conversation. As soon as he was done with the redhead, Shirosaki jumped me and pinned me down to the table. The girls 'whooed' in the background, one of them even whistled, but Shirosaki didn't mind them.

"Good luck with taking my clothes off, jerk. Ya don't even know what tattoos I used ta have and where." I teased and suddenly he gave me one of his no good grins.

"Then, I gotta find out," his tone was so full of confidence, which made me scowl at him. The next thing I know he ripped my, well his tank top off. The girls squealed on the background and I was frozen on the spot. I looked at the tattoo artist for some help, but he simply looked at us with an interested expression while eating pretzels like he was in a fucking cinema! I'm telling you, no one was sane at probably 2 AM with too many drinks on board that it was allowed. "If ya don't tell me, I'm gonna kiss ya," he started and I tried to shove him off, suddenly aware of the seriousness of the situation, but he didn't even flinch. He was one strong mother fucker. "Now, now. It's kinda too late ta run away, don't ya think, Ichi?" he teases and I show him the happy finger, but that only makes him laugh. "Ya either tell me or I kiss ya on the lips, though I don't see how this is punishment. Ya'll so like it, ya'll beg for more." By now, I was seeing red and I punched him with mostly all the strength I had on his chest, trying to get away, but it turns out that alcohol turned me into a softie and he barely moved.

"I had a tribal dragon with its wings open on my torso, happy? Its body was inked all along my core and it had its head turned to left," I say all of sudden. Drunk or not, I wasn't going to kiss the bastard.

"You mean like this, buddy?" suddenly the tattoo artist decides to butt in and he shows me a paper with a tattoo on it. I nod at him- it was exactly the same tattoo I had years ago. "Get off of him, kid. I'm doing this," he practically shoved Shirosaki off me and then started cracking his knuckles. I gulped down dryly, before lying on my back.

End of the flashback.

"So, yeah, the guy tattooed yer back and ya surprisingly made almost no noise, but ya still had something in yer eye as ya put it," he says and I shrug. "That's why yer back hurts like a bitch, by the way," he informs me and I nod. "Anyway, after tattooing ya, we all decided to go celebrate yer brave acts and we went to another club where we met some more chicks- a girl who had her hair dyed white, a ginger and a blonde- ya hated the blonde and at some point even wanted to beat her to a pulp. I managed ta stop ya in the end. At some point, the two brunettes dragged us in a more secluded corner of the room to tell us their 'awesome plan'- they intended to play cupid and set the bluenette with the white haired one and we vowed to help them…"

_Flashback_

_Jenna and Jess grabbed our hands and dragged us from the dance floor earning a few protest from me. We were soon sitting at a table where few eyes could spy on us and both brunettes looked at each other with meaningful stares, clearly planning something dirty._

_"So get this," Jess, the girl with short messy hair and dark brown eyes stars leaning over the table, said, and causing us, me and Shirosaki, to do the same in order to hear her better. "You see that one white haired girl there?" we nodded. "Good. Her name is Emma and I think she might not be interested only in men," she stated as a matter of fact. Jenna, the other brunette who was listening carefully to what her sister said- I believe they were sisters anyway- nodded in agreement._

_"How would ya know tha'?" I asked all of sudden._

_"Well, it's clear as daylight. We are not exactly straight either and we can tell that much," Jenna explained smiling at us._

_"Oh," both Shirosaki and I said and nodded._

_"Anyway, I was thinking to set her up with our shy bluenette friend, you know," Jess went on and I must have had a confused expression, because she sighed. "The blue one, Amy is her name," she clarified clearly upset with my lack of memory when it came to names. "Anyway, we wanted you two to help us. Maybe come up with some ideas. Amy is not that shy, but she can be very stubborn and she likes denying obvious stuff most of the time and I think we need to try something more drastic on her," I found myself nodding at her._

_"Sounds like someone I know," Shirosaki said all of sudden and I punched him on the shoulder. "Ouch! Who said I was talkin' about ya?" he snapped and scowled at me._

_"I'm the only person ya actually know around here," I stated in a bitchy tone and Jess cleared her throat to interrupt our little fight. "Sorry, Jess, Jenna, go on," I told them._

_"Emma is less idiotic, but she is still stubborn as hell and a bit socially awkward and I don't know what to do to make those two admit their feelings. They've known each other for quite a while already and they still won't stop pretending they aren't attracted to each other. It's frustrating, because the sexual tension between them and the constant eye-fucking it's getting worse and worse and they seem to be avoiding the elephant in the room even more," Jenna vented her frustration and I put a hand on her shoulder apologetically._

_"But why do they do tha'?" Shirosaki suddenly asked and Jess sighed._

_"They are idiots, both of them. The thing is that Amy's usually the kind of girl who'd have most of the male population at her feet, although she never really cares about them. Now that she has fallen for a girl, she portably thinks that her womanhood is being at stake, only God knows what's going on in that stupid head of hers. With other words, she is in huge denial. Emma, on the other hand, has had not so happy romances in the past and she is afraid of getting hurt yet again. I don't think Emma cares about gender, but I think that she is afraid anything strong…like love, for example. So…yeah," Jess explained._

_"I see," was all I could come up at that moment._

_"I think I may have an idea…" Shirosaki said soon after me._

_End of flashback._

"Yeah, well, after that I simply dragged both of the girls to dance with us and then made ya trip and bump into Emma and then poof! they were kissing like there was no tomorrow and the problem was solved in a matter of minutes," Shirosaki tells me, because I can't really remember that part. "Easy-peasy, right?" I find myself nodding and giving him a little smile. "Maybe we should play match-maker more, 'cuz we make an excellent team!" he winks at me and I roll my eyes. "Anyway, after we got those two together, the big happy group decided to go to some other place to celebrate the new lovey-dovey couple and we all left the place yelling and laughing and earning weird stares from the few passersby on the street at the unearthly hour. But we were all so drunk, or more like the girls were so drunk that we got lost and somehow ended up trespassing a Zoo…" his words trail off and he takes in a deep breath. Judging by his reaction, I am sure we did something terribly stupid.

"At first everything was fine, we were just looking here and there, but then Jess said that you wouldn't dare to go to the tiger and pat it on its head and ya started laughing hysterically. I should've know that ya were about to do something stupid, but I was drunk so I didn't think about it. And ya did something stupid. Ya freed the fuckin' animal- I had no idea ya knew how to pick a lock- and the girls were all cheering on ya and stuff. We were the most fucking lucky person in this entire Universe and beyond that, for some unknown reason, the animal had taken a liking to ya and acted like a huge cat all of the time. Ya wanted to bring it home. Can ya believe that?" If I weren't so petrified on the spot, I would be laughing my ass off.

"We got the tiger out of the Zoo, don't even ask how we did it, because I don't know how, I just know it was hard as hell. Ya sent a girl to buy a leash in the meanwhile, which she did and then the tiger let ya put the leash around its neck. It was terrifying. Whenever someone else tried to approach the tiger, ya later named Tootles, it would have started going all nasty and threatening, but as soon as we backed away and ya pat its head, it all went soft and kitty-like...ughh," he shivers slightly at the memory.

"Anyway, we finally decided that we were tired and that we needed to sleep and soon we were back at the hotel with Tootles following ya like ya were some sort of god. However, the fun doesn't end here, because that was almost a week ago and not in Miami. Damn, as soon as we reached our room, ya took off the checked shirt I gave ya because I think ya remember what happened to the tank top and left Tootles somewhere in the room, away from me. Ya went to take a shower and told the animal not to move until ya came back, which made me scoff at ya, but the tiger listened to ya. Anyway, I was bored and I couldn't really sleep all of sudden, knowing that there was a tiger that didn't quite like me in the room, so I turned on the TV and I happened to find a porn channel. Drunk or not, I was soon horny because, hey, I hadn't had some action in some time by then and I took it as my chance given by God to have a little me-time."

"Too much info, dude," I almost choke on my food before gulp down dryly. I don't like where this is going, because suddenly I remember the one morning when I woke up and saw Shirosaki's clothes scattered on the floor, the porn channel, myself naked and the…OH. I remember, at least a bit, the next morning. I have a bad-bad feeling about it.

"Yeah, I know, mate. I should've known that things wouldn't really run smoothly, but I wasn't in my right mind at the time. So ya can guess what happened next, I took of my clothes and started doing the deed and thankfully the tiger never moved. What did move, tough, were you, who just got out of the shower, towel around yer waist all steamy and drunk. I was hot and bothered by the time ya walked onto me. I must have triggered something in ya, because the next thing I knew ya were above me, straddling my waist and staring intensely at me like ya were either about to kill me on the spot or fuck me 'til dawn."

I can feel my cheeks, ears and neck burn in embarrassment and I don't think I want to know where this is going. I can't believe I-I f-fucked my friendship with him. Literally. No wonder he doesn't even look me in the eye.

"But as soon as ya came, so quickly ya were gone. Ya told Tootles to stay in the bathroom for a while and then came back to me and we both watched pornos until I went to go to sleep. I dunno what ya did for the rest of the time, but apparently ya got Tootles back and fell asleep on it until ya woke up and slipped on God knows what, which knocked ya out for a while. I saw the whole scene because I had just woken up. Thankfully, ten minutes later, ya were up and we returned the tiger to the Zoo, apologizing and apologizing and even paying them to take the tiger, which was very sad to lose ya and so were ya. The staff at the Zoo was scared shitless of ya," he shakes his head and laughs a little.

"So…we didn't…?" I ask just to be sure. Please, if there is any God out there, please, just this once, let it be ok!

"Nope, but ya gave the fright of my life, beware 'cuz payback time will come one day," he jokes and I let myself sigh in little relief. I finally don't do stupid shit. "But, the story is just about to get good, so hold tight, 'cuz there's more," I think I relaxed a little bit too early, haven't I? Damn. "So, after yer breakup with Tootles we went to buy some more clothes. We ended up buying another black tank top which ya instantly put on and looked at me with a greedy face, hell if I know why, and a couple of T-shirts and other shits like that. And then ya wanted to eat something and we pigged out at a McDonalds. After that we even went for a walk around the city and took many photos because ya thought it was important and who was I to stop ya. But soon the day faded and we got drunk again, because we just couldn't help it. We started out as innocent persons who just went for a dance at a club, but we ended up buying a drink or two to keep us going. Big mistake, I'm telling ya," he pauses and I nod.

"Then, as we were chatting with two dudes about their crazy adventures with ladies dressed in angels, ya came up with another 'amazing idea' and soon we were in the airport again, this time ya only made funny faces at kids and they laughed back at ya. Everyone thought ya were sweet and doin' it on a purpose to make those kids happy and less bored, but in reality ya were so drunk ya didn't even know which was the men's toilet anymore and I am not exaggerating," I start to laugh nervously. "So, anyway, after a while we were in Los Angeles and the flight wasn't a disaster at all because ya fell asleep again."

"Why Los Angeles?"

"Hell if I know. It was probably because it was rather close to San Francisco and because those two nutcases wouldn't shut up about women dressed in angel suits. Yer brain makes weird connections, just so ya know," he points his index at my head and I shrug.

"Can't help it, buddy."

"Yeah, I've seen. Anyway, as soon as we landed we went to another five starred hotel and booked an apartment with an amazing view and a cut out of movies bathtub. After eating some fried chicken and whatever we ate at the restaurant downstairs we decided to have a nice walk and take some more photos and so we did. But after a while we were tired and we were next to yet another club and we decided to go in and just sit a little at a table because we were exhausted. Of course it didn't go that way," he answers my unsaid question and I sigh, expecting it. "We got sloshed again. And ya danced, I danced and then we danced together," don't tell me this is going where I think this is going. How much have I a flirted with him in this one week? "And that apparently draw attention upon us, 'cuz if on our first night in San Francisco we attracted mostly lesbians or bisexuals, now we attracted gays,"

"Holy crap!"

"Yeah. But they didn't actually flirt with us. There were four guys, two a couple, the other two another and they weren't interested in some sort of an orgy; they just assumed we were together too, because, to quote them, "we had the chemistry". We tried telling them that we weren't, but they didn't seem to hear us," OH GOD. "Hey, don't make that mortified expression; I'm not that bad of a boyfriend! They didn't ask us to kiss to prove God knows what or do other embarrassing things. They just approached us because they thought we were together, but they kept tagging along even after we told them that we weren't. And to tell ya the truth, they were really nice people, so stop fretting," I nod slightly but I still don't feel at ease.

"Ok," I manage to mumble.

"Well back to the story- we all danced, joked and honestly ya didn't seem to mind that ya were surrounded by two gay couples. I know it was the alcohol to blame, because in real life ya freak out even when I jokingly flirt with ya, but it was nice seeing ya have fun, be relaxed and open minded for once," he is now staring the wall, his tone slightly disapproving and I can't help but feel a pang of guilt crawling in my hear again. "Well, putting that aside, of course ya had to get bored and I can't really blame it all on ya 'cuz I was too, so we decided to go see a movie at one of the guys' place…"

"Oh. I hope we didn't rob them or something," I say half-jokingly but knowing my drunk self, I shouldn't joke with this.

"Not really," See? I knew it. "Well, we didn't rob them exactly, we just started a food fight and we kind of ate all of them food too, but well, we've done worse. The reason was simple, really. Ya were hungry and I was lazy so…"

"I think I remember this one!" I shout all of sudden, slightly startling him.

_Flashback_

_After leaving the club, Joseph and his boyfriend, Andy, invited us over to watch a movie or two and maybe even play poker or something if we felt like it. We agreed on an instant and soon, all six of us were heading to Joseph's place, because Andy was still living with his mother who was really ill and had only her son. Joseph lived with his brother and he made sure to fill us in with at least half of his life story on the way to his place because God knows why we thought going by foot was a magnificent idea. His brother was not home when we arrived and he was relieved because his brother was a total dick most of the time, as he put it._

_After debating what to watch, we decided for Iron Man and we were waiting for the film to download. In the process I got very hungry and I suddenly needed Shirosaki's food like my life depended on it._

_"Shirooo…" I moaned from the kitchen as he stood in the hallway probably looking at himself in the mirror. Che, big ego was big._

_"What?" he asked quite distracted and that made me repeat my earliest action. "What do ya want, Ichi?" he asked, that time clearly unamused by my childish drunk self._

_"I'm hungry," I confess as a matter of fact and he pokes his head in the kitchen to give me one of his 'are-you-fuckin'-kiddin'-me looks and I nod trying to give me one of my best drunk, lost puppy eyes looks. Sure, Joseph was watching the whole scene along with the others from the living room, but I didn't care. They already thought we were a couple; why not give them a little satisfaction?_

_"So what? I'm yer mommy now?" Ouch, that hurt._

_"No, dummy, but ya make the food taste like unicorn wings and rainbows," I said in a totally non-sarcastic way. Wow, the power of the alcohol is scary._

_"That's all nice 'n' stuff, but no," he downright rejected me and I even felt a bit disappointed and hurt, to my utter displease now that I remember._

_"Asshole," I mumble and simply throw a lemon at him, but that seemed to have triggered something in him because soon he was throwing spaghetti leftovers and then the food war started. We even made teams, we were that hammered, and I ended up with Joseph and Evan, the other guy that I haven't mentioned until now. Shirosaki was obviously with Andy and Aiden on his side and we even used the table in the living room as a shield and team Shirosaki used the couch. It was a mess pretty much the whole apartment, by the time sun set and we were lying all on the floor panting hard and wanting to sleep._

_"WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED HERE?!" And that was Dallas, Joseph's brother who just walked in at probably 7ish in the morning._

_End of flashback._

"Poor Joseph, to think that he probably still has to confront his brother's wrath. At least we paid for the mess we have done," Shirosaki shakes his head and I nod. "Well, we went to the hotel, took a bath and passed out as soon as we landed on our beds. But the fun doesn't end here, 'cuz as soon as we were up, we were hungry again and we went to the restaurant downstairs to eat. Of course it couldn't go all smooth and shit and, as we were sitting at our table talking about trivialities like kindergarten kids on drugs we had the, what we believed back then, mother of all headaches, but that was a small child to what we were bound to have if we kept going like that. The funny thing is that seemed to attract another odd couple, straight this time, but very rich and with a thirst for fun like I've rarely seen. They sat down at the table with us and at first we just exchanged minor things, like the weather and how nice L. A. was. But soon, they asked us if we knew a place where they could have fun and we both exchanged looks and told them about the club we were in the previous night. They got excited, especially the woman, and they wanted to go there as soon as possible, but we didn't know how to explain to the road there and we said why not show them. So we did…"

"Oh, no. Please tell me we went back to the hotel right after," I groan and he laughs bitterly.

"Ya think we would be here, if we went back to the hotel?" I shake my head and finish my meal before I really lose my appetite. "Exactly. They begged us to stay with them because we looked like fun to hang out with and so we did. Yet again we started out as smooth and just had a drink or two and sat at the table, but the couple, who turned out they had been married for a long time, but still looked and partied like youngsters, urged us to dance too because 'we couldn't be party poopers'. With a drink in one hand and another on the other hand we danced and got drunk for the hundredth time in the past few days. Yet again, they assumed we were a couple, 'cuz I couldn't stop teasing ya with my flirting and ya couldn't stop flirting back, only the devil knows why," he sighs.

"Oh God!" I let out a mortified yelp. Don't tell me we got married…

"Yeah, anyway…they said we were cute and that we should stop denying our feelings for each other. We told them that…"

"I know. I remember," I grumble, suddenly feeling the urge to hide under the blanket and possibly die there.

"Oh."

_Flashback_

_The club was loud, as usual, and the ginger, Melanie, was dancing with her husband, Richard. They were a sweet couple, I thought back then, because despite being married for ten years already, they still looked at each other like there was no one else in the room with them. A sour thought crept in my mind, telling me that if I ever had that with Rukia, it was long gone. I was slightly envious of them and that made me want to drink more, so I would stop caring about those unwanted feelings. I haven't phoned Rukia and she hadn't called me either and I was having so much fun without her that I didn't want to hear her voice for a while._

_Shirosaki must have observed that something was wrong with me because he continued our kindergarten conversation from earlier._

_"So…what colour ya like?" See, told you it was kindergarten speech. I should have recorded him for future blackmail. Putting the jokes aside, he was probably desperate to start a conversation and stop me from thinking things I didn't want to think about. And I was grateful for it._

_"Umm, I guess black," I managed to mumble between my sips and he snorted._

_"That's not even a colour, idiot."_

_"So what? You're an artist now?" I tease and he rolls his eyes. "Well, if it ain't good enough for you, then…brown, I think,' I stopped to think realizing that I didn't even know what colour I fancied more. I had been so preoccupied with my boring suits that I didn't bother going casual and finding a colour that I liked more than others. Gazing at him and those golden eyes made me open my mouth and say something stupid. "Or maybe gold…" I mumble and his eyebrows shot up before nodding slightly. "What about you?" What a serious tone for such a stupid topic between two grown men…_

_"Red, black, blue and orange," he said simply without thinking._

_"Now that's cheating! You have to pick one and black isn't a colour!"_

_"Touché!" and we both burst in laughter._

_"You two are so adorable!" Melanie cooed beside us. "I told Richard you two were together, but he wouldn't believe me," she sighed and I frowned._

_"We are not together…" I said._

_"Guess I win the bet, then, Mel," Richard suddenly popped out of nowhere with two drinks on his hand- he handed the green one to his wife why he happily slurped from his._

_"No way! But you two have the chemistry!" Again with that shit…_

_"There is nothing going on between us- we just like to tease each other, because honestly, he is one son of an annoying bitch," I said pointing at Shirosaki who was simply grinning at me like the bastard he'd always been._

_"The feeling is mutual, babe," he teased and I hit his shoulder playfully._

_"That's too bad, though," she pouted. "Oh, well, let's dance!" and with that she grabbed both my hand and Shirosaki's and she dragged us to the dance floor._

_End of flashback._

"Yeah, well anyway…many drinks and some flirty remarks later ya were so drunk ya simply stumbled onto some big pompous guy, on our way back to the hotel. It would've been ok if ya stopped there though…" he continues and I feel like slapping myself. Just what have I done? "The guy being, probably, bored out of his mind, invited the four of us over and we accepted. He had a nice house and all and we ended up in a heated game of poker…"

"I wanna die…" he puts a hand on my shoulder. I remember this one, but in no way do I wanna think about it. Let's just say that it was a very wild poker night…

"How much do ya remember?" his is voice a strange mix of amusement and dread.

"Well, last thing I remember we were jumping stark naked in that guy's pool."

"Ya have some catchin' up to do, then," he grimaced, but not at me. "After the pool incident, when we almost got drowned, because drunk mean can't swim apparently, we decided to calm down a little. The lovey-dovey couple passed out eventually and so did the guy who invited us over. Only ya couldn't do it and after some bitching and moaning about how ya wanted me to cook ya something, again, ya decided to steal the guy's panda. So ya did."

"I…WHAT?!" I scream.

"Exactly. Ya didn't want to kidnap the poor animal, ya more like wanted to go to an amusement park with it and ride a merry-go-round together, possibly while eating cotton candy. And so ya did," he shakes his head and I…I can't even find my words. What the fuck have I…? You know what? Forget it.

"And what were you doing this whole time?"

"Laughing, of course," he says as a matter of fact. "Oh, don't make that face; ya were impossibly funny when ya were pouting 'cuz I mocked yer tastes in dates…"

"I…dated a panda?" he nods. "I need something stronger than mental bleach and whiskey to wash this away. A bullet might work, but I'm not sure."

"Come on, buddy, that was the most innocent part of it."

"There is more? Are you kidding me? What did I do, make love to it?"

"Well, not really…" rubbing his cheek, Shirosaki avoids my gaze. "Well after yer awesome date with the panda, which ya named Chuckles, ya wanted to get another tattoo 'cuz ya missed yer old tattoos so much or something. And again, ya did. That's why yer neck hurts so much. Ya even introduced the panda as yer lover to the tattoo artist…I guess he was the one who called the police on us and Animal Welfare."

"Ya can't be serious," I look at him. "Fuck, you are serious."

"Yes, after bringing it to the hotel, ya fell asleep in the bathtub half naked with the baby panda in the same room as ya. I was about to enter the bathroom, 'cuz nature called, when I heard a loud thump and found ya on the verge of drowning. I assume ya were waking up and were so confused that ya might have slipped or…I dunno. But I pulled ya out of there and put ya on the bed, after…getting yer remaining clothes off." Silence. "Look, I had to! I didn't rape ya or anything, just put ya on a nice, dry bed and then dropped the baby panda home. The only problem is that Shuuhei, the policeman, was after our asses for kidnapping and possibly animal rape, I'm not sure about the last one…so we went to Vegas."

"No way!"

"Way."

"Don't tell me that now we are happily married…" I say half-jokingly.

"Almost."

"What?! You know what, I don't wanna know," I shake my hand and a raise a hand, stopping him. "Are we still followed by the police?"

"No. I mana-…"

"Good. That's all I wanted to know. So we'll skip the drama and go home, right?" I say all of sudden, jumping out of the bed. Shirosaki doesn't say anything for a long while and I am tempted to ask him again, but in the end he nods. "Let's start packing, if there is anything to pack and get the hell outta here," running a hand through my hair, I start looking around for anything to pack. Without a single word from him, he brushes past me and shoves me a set of new clothes, before completely disappearing in a new room.

The road to the airport is silent and the sunny weather is oddly misplaced for the mood that sticks to us the entire cab drive. One look back in the airport before passing the final gates makes my heart throb painfully in my chest and then we are gone.

**To be continued…**


	15. Lies, denial and loyalty: Part 1- Eye of the tiger

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kon spies on Ichigo and uncovers a dirty little secret, that's not so little but definitely dirty.

 

" _There's a lot, there's a lot we don't show,_

_There's a lot, there's a lot that's untold"-Damien Rice, Under the tongue_

* * *

 

**New York City, NY, United States**

**Friday, September 7** **th** **, 2012**

**6:30 PM**

**Ichigo's P.O.V.:**

Shutting down my laptop with a sigh, I stand up and stretch my back a little. With one hand, I rub my eye, trying to get the image to focus and as soon as I am done with this, I grab my things and I am out of the office. Soon, I am standing in front of the elevator, in the deserted white hallway waiting for the lift to come. This is just another bleak workday, hopefully the last this week, where the skies of New York City are as grey as a second day snowfall, but the air still insufferably hot. Soon, it is going to rain and, yet again, I forgot my umbrella- this shouldn't be a problem though, because I am going home by car, but you never know what may happen in the meantime. Let's just hope that my trip home will be safe and sound and uneventful.

It's been almost two weeks since I have come back to work. Kon was very worried by the time I called him and Rukia was on the verge of crying. It's been almost two weeks since my arrival from Miami too and by the time I got home and charged my phone, I discovered that I had almost forty missed calls from Rukia alone and twenty from my brother, along with a shitload of messages, most of them saying the same things.

With a _**bing**_ the doors of the elevator open revealing the empty metallic lift. I enter it and soon I am engulfed by it and taken downstairs. Before exiting the building I am saluted by the tired receptionist and after returning the gesture, I take my leave and stroll to my car, which is parked a few meters away. As soon as I am in, I turn on the radio and settle for a random channel- the music is not important, I just want some noise in the background.

I manage to drive half of the road home without too much trouble, but now I am stuck. The traffic is a killer. After all, today is Friday and most of the citizens of New York seek some fun. Well, _**most**_ of them- I am not included into that category. I've had enough 'fun' a couple of weeks ago, enough to keep me going for at least fifty years from now on. With a sigh, I reach for the Mentos stashed somewhere in the backseat and take one.

"I can't believe I've let myself be dragged in that mess," I mutter under my breath. Suddenly, the heavy rain drops started pelting down the city like the Apocalypse is near. The traffic doesn't seem to loosen up and I have a slight impression that I am going to be stuck between many yellow cabs and black BMWs, Audis and God knows what other cars these people own for a long time. _Great, just what I needed._

By the time I get home, though, one hour has passed and the terribly short road from my car to my house has me drenched and cold. As soon as I open the door I am welcomed by Rukia who instantly wraps a towel around me and urges to follow her in the bedroom.

"I was worried, I thought something happened," she says as she drags me in the bedroom. "But then I looked outside and thought that the traffic may be heavy. Turns out I was right. I've made spaghetti and apple pie, I'll be in the kitchen if you need anything," she says and kisses my soaked forehead before disappearing through the door. Rukia came back on September 1st and both Renji and I picked her up from the airport. We stopped to a café for half an hour, before going home.

_Flashback_

_After finishing our cups of coffee and the sweets we ordered, the three of us rose from the table and we paid for them. As soon as we were out of the café, Renji gave Rukia a bear hug, before departing and leaving us alone saying that important matters had to be attended- mostly Byakuya's bitchy order- but no one argued._

_The ride home had been painfully silent and I had no idea what to do or what to say to her. I hadn't called her back after her forty-something calls and who knows how many messages and neither did she try to contact me. She called me the previous day and told me that she was coming back the next day and that if I could pick her up. But after that, nothing._

_When I pulled the car in front of our house, the silence became insupportable- she was going to say something, hell, maybe even yell at me, kick me or leave me._

" _Ichigo…" she began and I turned my gaze from the sunset to look at her. Her face was almost expressionless, only that her big round eyes held so much hurt in them. I sighed, unsure of what to say or what to do. What was I supposed to do? Hug her? Apologize? That could have been a starter, but I was no good at dealing with emotions. "What happened to you?" Good question, I wished I had known that too._

" _I…It's complicated," I murmured in the end, shame and guild starting to get a grip of me. What the hell had been in my head when I ran off with my neighbour doing so many wrong things?! Things my father would have me castrated for, if he were still alive, that is. She gave me a pleading look, the kind of look that screamed "It's ok, I'm here, I'll understand." Only that I did not want her to understand. There was nothing to be understood, it's all been a mistake. Or if it wasn't a mistake…then I don't want to know what it was._ _ **No**_ _. It_ _ **had**_ _to be a mistake. "I don't know what happened, but it won't happen again, I promise," I had to make this work. Rukia was such a sweet girl with such a good heart- I couldn't let her down, she deserved better. Hell, maybe I should let her go, but…_

_With a sigh, she reached for my cheek and planted a chaste kiss on my lips to which I hardly responded. It lasted a while, a long while, as if she were trying to convey all those things that she refused to say- her anger, her frustration, disappointment and fear-into just one kiss. Fear that she might lose me. My heart clenched inside my ribcage, it hurt so much I thought it was reduced to the size of a peanut. When I opened my eyes, which I don't know when they closed, I could only see the fear and worry in her dark orbs._

_End of flashback_

Ever since then, she's said nothing about my not picking up my phone. She never told me if she knew that I wasn't at our house, she never asked anything. Even scarier than that, she was almost never angry, you know, like the kind of girlfriend who would start a fight all of sudden and out of nothing. We never really fought, if you didn't count the occasional friendly fight that evolved around stupid things like music, writers or things like that. If I were feeling guilty before, now it's worse. Her ignoring the elephant in the room hurts more like an insult or two thrown out of anger and hurt, than her trying to pretend it doesn't bother her. Or maybe it doesn't.

But where does this leave us then?

"Ichigo?" she calls from the hallway, pulling me out of my train of thought.

"Coming," I respond and start changing in more comfortable clothes- pajama bottoms and a T-shirt. "Sorry for taking so long, I was a bit cold," I half lie- I was actually cold, but that wasn't my main issue- and she nods, putting a plate full of steamy spaghetti in front of me. "Wow, this looks amazing, Rukia," I compliment her and I mean it.

"Yeah, yeah, stop talking and eat, idiot," she scolds me, but her smile says something else. "How was today?"

"Fine, I guess. You know how work is…always the same," I mumble between my munching. Her food tastes so good and after a long tiring day at the office is like a blessing. _Only that Shi-…No!_ I won't go there. "What about you? Any news from Byakuya?"

"Nah. He is still a tad bit upset that I am with you. He tried to set me up with several men in the past week, but I told him off. He really is stubborn- you are a great person, I don't see why he doesn't understand this." I try not to scoff at that. I am far from being a 'great person', especially after that week.

"I see," is all I can come up with. And the rest of the meal remains in silence. See? Before there was a less amount of silence, but now I don't even know how to deal with this unbearable tension. My phone starts buzzing on the table and I take it on my hand to look at the caller, before picking up. "Yeah?"

" _Hey, Ichi-nii. How's life in your lil' paradise?"_ Kon's voice on the other side sounds impossibly cheerful and I guess he had regained his usual character- the always happy, trickster, evil twin- after two weeks of working in hell.

"Peachy."

" _Now, that hurts. Care to give more details?"_ Kon, always the teaser.

"Why did you call, Kon?" I say in the end- I am tired, stressed and I don't even know what I am anymore, but it can't be good.

" _Oh, that's my brother, always straight to the point. I guess your little escapade didn't do the wonder change, but well, it can't be helped,"_ at this point I am already rolling my eyes. " _Actually I didn't call you to tease you so stop rolling your eyes, because I know that you are doing that, so stop and hear me out."_ Idiot. " _We kind of need to talk."_ Oh, holy spaghetti, this can't be good. " _Now stop worrying in your head, I can hear you from here. It's nothing too serious, but I think it needs to be done, like really now and today, no more delays, so move your ass to my place."_

"Now, I can't do that! I've just arrived home!"

" _Look, brother, don't bail on me on this one,"_ there is a pause. " _Pretty please with a cherry on top?"_ I sigh.

"Fine, fine."

" _That's my bro! Come ASAP, but please understand that this is something between me and you…"_

"Yeah, yeah, I heard you the first hundred times," and with that I hang up and sigh.

"What happened?"

"Kon called, he said we needed to talk. Damn prick…" I don't even dare to look at her in the eye. I've just arrived home and I am already leaving and if that isn't a dick move, I don't know what it is.

"It's ok, Ichigo. Go, it's your twin after all," again, she gives me the look. I just wish I could stay here, with her, but the world won't let me. Why? "Go or I'll throw you out myself," she says half-jokingly, half-seriously. With a sigh I raise to my feet and go to hug her.

"Ok. Sorry…again, Rukia," I manage to mumble and she looks up at me, a grin on her face, before friendly punching me on the shoulder.

"Oh, shut it and go."

It takes me twenty minutes by car to reach his apartment, the traffic hasn't been as heavy and the rain melted down a bit, but it didn't cease falling and glooming the city at the same time. Kon lives on one of those huge skyscrapers that are so famous in the movies for their fantastic view- I guess it has to do with his eccentric personality and his desperate need of inspiration, but no one really knows what's in his weird head, not even his physically identical twin.

"Heya, brother!" he greets me as soon as I reach his floor, door opened and him standing in the door frame bare footed with a grin on his face and a bottle of whiskey in one hand. Half empty, half full- you pick what you think it's more accurate, I won't do the theory of the glass, in this case bottle.

"Are you drunk?" I ask all of sudden.

"Pfft, 'f course not!" he says furrowing his eyebrows at me. "Now, stop being silly and come in," he says motioning with his hands that I come in and he steps away from the doorway to allow me to enter his apartment. "Welcome to my humble apartment, Majesty," he says bowing before me and I roll my eyes at him as I enter his apartment and shut closed his door.

"Don't."

"What?" he asks, guard down.

"Don't call me Majesty or anything like that. Just don't. And don't even ask why," I grumble while taking off my shoes and putting away the umbrella.

"Oooh, what crawled up your ass and died?" Are-you-serious face #23 as in "brother, it's high time you finished your stupid teasing!" is pulled out of the deck-card/face-deck-card…ughh, whatever. "Ok, we'll have it your way, be grumpy all you want, I won't stop you." Kon pulls a mahogany chair in front of the beige sofa in his large and surprisingly clean living room "So make yourself comfortable," he kind of demands. "I'll bring coffee." One second he is gone in the kitchen, the other one he pops out with a cup of coffee and hands it to me, which I gladly accept.

"So…? What's burning?"

"Honestly?" he asks as he looks kind at his bottle of whiskey, probably unsure what to do with the liquid anymore. I look at him to the kind of look that would translate into: "yes, now go on" with impatience growing on top. "You."

"Huh? Kon, I don-…"

"I called you to discuss you, Ichigo," he cuts me off, suddenly his carefree façade is dropped off somewhere not close to his apartment, it simply vanished in thin air. Kon being serious is a scary matter and it's best to avoid it, because if he is serious, then you know that the world has come to an end. Ok, maybe I am exaggerating, but I've rarely seen him serious before.

"What about me?"

"Correct- there are many things that could be discussed about you- but today I am not giving you one of my 'quit-the-job', 'change-your-clothes' or 'live-a-little' kind of speeches." I frown. Then what does he want to discuss? "It's about your being in denial," he clarifies.

"Huh? I am not in denial!" I protest before I even know what I am doing.

"See? Told ya," he points his index at me and then takes a healthy or not so healthy sip from his bottle. "Brother, about three weeks ago, you disappeared without announcing anybody. Next thing I know, you come back a week later even more grumpier than before and I never thought that was possible. I mean you've been this uptight, look I-got-a-huge-carrot-up-my-ass and I –am-better-tha-…"

"Yeah, yeah, I get it. I am an asshole, sue me, Mr. Innocence here," I retort, suddenly annoyed. Is he going to get to the point or not?

"Anyway," he rolls his eyes, "I've done some research, you know, because I couldn't stop asking myself…what could have possibly happen to make you behave like the ultimate dickhead and you know what I found?"

"Enlighten me, Oh Ye Wise One!" This is way, we are getting nowhere…I should've stayed home after all.

"The reason of your sudden grumpiness…" he makes a theatrical gesture with his hands while looking at the ceiling- yup, clearly drunk, "is none other than Shirosaki Hichigo!" in just a matter of seconds I manage to spit my coffee, half-choke on it and look like someone ran over my puppy while laughing hysterically. "Hit a nerve or two, right?"

"Wha-what are you talking about?" I barely whisper after regaining my composure, at least a bit. But he isn't buying my innocent act, in fact his lips curl in a grin and I know he knows. Possibly everything.

"I'm talking about your neighbour, of course." Ok, I'm fucked. It's time for Dodge the truth, trial #1.

"Now you stalk my neighbours?" I raise an eyebrow at him.

"Dodge the truth trials won't work on me, bro. I was the one who taught you that," he states, his brown eyes glimmering with amusement and I feel my cheeks burn with embarrassment. Crap, I've forgotten about that! "Yeah, so, as I was saying, I did some research. I firstly thought about every possible thing that would or could have caused your sudden grumpiness. Firstly I tried with Rukia, but she wasn't the guilty one, in fact she was just an innocent person. I thought about your friends, but then I remembered that you don't really have friends…so I was met with a dead end," he begins to explain.

Kon's always liked to play detective now and then, because I've never been good when it came to my feelings and often he had to figure it out by himself. He has a sharp eye and a fantastic memory and he is just getting better at the whole detective thing as time passes by. I'll never understand why he didn't choose to be a detective, but he's always said about the boringness of it. However, after he figures out something, he likes to narrate his steps and explain how he came up with the conclusion- I later understood that it was a strategically move, of psychological nature- it simply made the thing seem more veridical and it made the suspect lose his words, because the facts were presented to him as clear as the day, but I didn't know that when I was a kid.

"I, then, realized that your problem was something without precedent and I went to a club or two to clear my mind," he continues and I frown. How is going to a club clearing your mind? I don't even want to know. "Yeah, yeah, stop judging me in your head and hear me out. While I was in the club, the second night, because in the first night I didn't get anything worth taking into account- or at least that's what I thought back then- in the second night I met Grimmjow." Crap! "Yeah, Grimmjow. And he told me he had talked to you and to quote him that you were a 'dick', but that was nothing new…"

"Hey!"

"That's what family is for, honey, now shut up and listen carefully. He told me you were with Shirosaki. I asked him who this Shirosaki was and he described a 'super-pale with strange eyes' dude. I, then, remembered the stranger in the museum. And I asked for his address. Turns out you were neighbours," he smirks at me and sips from his bottle again. "So, naturally, I went to his place and knocked at his door. He was very surprised, per see, to see _you._ " I start to fidget on my seat.

Ever since our arrival from Miami, we haven't exchanged a glance at each other, not to mention that we didn't talk at all. I avoided him like the plague, hell, I still do! And he hasn't tried to talk to me either, but I don't think he cares. I bet he has plenty of friends actually to lend a shoulder- that is if he cares at all, which I know he doesn't. He is not affected by my sudden disappearance.

"He looked hurt, Ichi," Kon says, his cocoa eyes fixing me both serious and disapproving, both gentle and worried- if that makes any sense. "He started apologizing on an instant, but I had to pull him out of his agony and I told him that I was your twin. The disappointment and confusion on his face, Ichi…it was earth-shattering! He invited me in offered me a cup of coffee. I asked him what happened between the two of you, because you wouldn't tell me…" Kon isn't even looking at me anymore, he is looking somewhere past me, different feelings washing up his eyes- from hurt to anger and some other of this kind. "He said that you two got drunk and that you wanted to live a little and that you, at some point, wanted to go to San Francisco…" his words trail off. Just how much does he know? What did Shirosaki tell him? My bigger problem is that I still lack some memories…what if I had done something completely stupid? "He's told me many things, Ichigo. He has shown me the videos that he magically received from the friends you two made. He showed me the pictures you took with his phone, because yours was dead. He told me about the cops and that he bailed you out of jail, he paid for the papers to keep their mouth shut and he cleared any misunderstandings Andrew Milton had regarding you and his precious panda. He patched up everything, Ichigo, took care of you when you were so drunk you couldn't even formulate a simple sentence and you won't even look him in the eye- thanking him is out of question."

"He…did all of that?" Kon is giving me one of his most surprised faces.

"You mean…you didn't even know?"

"Well, he told me most of the shit I've done…I remember some, but…" I stop and look at my hands.

"But?" Seeing that I am unwilling to go on, Kon presses.

"But I never let him finish…" I mumble.

"Unbelievable!" he jumps in his feet shouting. "Un- _fuckin'-_ believable!" Kon keeps screaming at the ceiling. "The guy practically saves your life more times that I can count on my finger _and_ my toes and that's how _you_ repay him? Are you out of your fuckin' mind?" Kon glares at me, his face flushed with anger and I don't know how to shrink smaller in my seat. "I knew you were a dickhead, but I never imagined you could reach such level of fuckery! Are you sure you don't have a major degree in tomfoolery and douchebaggery, 'cuz it just sounds like you do to me!" he continues to scold me and I really wish there was a hole who would swallow me whole and never let me go.

"I thought we…" I stop and shake my head.

"You thought what, Ichigo?" he barks and I flinch at his harsh tone.

"Nothing," I mumble.

"Now don't lie to me. You were going to say something, now say it. You thought what?" his scrutinizing gaze is too much and soon I am in my feet too, trying to leave. "Oh no, you won't go anywhere, I'm not done with you! Now you sit down on that fuckin' couch and spill the beans or so help me, I'll tie you down to my bed and force it out of you!" he blocks me and I glare at him.

If he wants to wrestle with each other, I shall grant his wish. But as I am about to make my first move, he catches my arm, springs me around and I don't even know what else he does or in what order, because the next thing I know I am pressed with my face against a wall while he is holding my arms at my back.

"Now, listen to me carefully," he says in a low, threatening voice near my ear, "you call him and tell him to come here. _**NOW.**_ " He growls and I wince at his sudden harsh attitude. When has he gotten so strong? And where did he learn those moves? Wasn't he drunk…ish? "Or we can do this the hard way…" his words trail off.

"Fine!" I snap. "I'll call him," a pause in which none of us moves. "Really, I'll call him now. Release me," I grumble and he takes another pause before releasing me.

I pull out my phone and dial Shirosaki's number then put it on speaker. I've been tempted to delete his number from the phone's memory so many times that I think I can actually use this instead of counting sheep before going to sleep. But I didn't. I didn't delete his number- although a part of me screamed at me to do it, the other part craved that I kept it, used it maybe some time later- I gave in.

**Beep-beep-beep. Beep-beep-beep. Beep-beep-beep.**

" _The number you have dialed…"_ I hang up and give my brother a 'that's it' stare.

"Try again, dickhead, don't look at me," he barks and I do as I am told. Not that I have a choice, well unless I want to be strapped down by my twin and have to tell him about my hypocrisy- you know the boy on boy thing.

**Beep-beep-beep… Beep-beep-beep… Beep-beep-beep.**

" _The number you have dialed…"_ I didn't need to look twice at Kon's face to know that I had to call until he picked up.

**Beep-beep-beep…**

"What if he doesn't answer?"

**Beep-beep-beep…**

"I'll plant you in front of his door," he states simply. _Shirosaki answer the fucking phone!_

**Beep-beep-bee-…**

"What if he doesn't want to talk to me?

" _Hello?"_ tired husky voice pulls me out of my worries. My heart clutches in my chest and suddenly I forget how to breathe. What do I tell him now? Apologize? Call him over? " _Hello?"_

"Talk to him, jerk!" Kon shouts pulling me out of my nervous mood. No, scratch that, I am still nervous as fuck, so nervous that I can barely hold the fucking phone.

"Hey…Shirosaki?" I manage to ask despite the dryness of my throat.

" _Yeah? Who's this?"_ Oh. He doesn't have my number anymore. I don't know why, but this actually…hurts.

"Shirosaki, I'm sorry to disturb you, but I called to apologize. I wondered…wondered if you could drop by…" my words trail off and by now I am with my back at my brother. He doesn't need to see me like this. Hell, even I don't want to see my face now. "It's Ichigo…" I don't even think I can talk anymore- my stomach is jumping up and down, my heart is racing madly in all directions, I think I will explode at this rate.

"Ichigo…" he says in a low, almost sad voice. What have I done to him? I promised to be his friend, dragged him around, let him take care of me…and that's how I repay him?

"Look, I understand if you don't want to talk to me anymore, hell, I wouldn't talk to me if I were you, but…" I swallow hard, "could you please give me chance to apologize at least? I promise I'll never bother you afterwards…"

"Uhh…" a pause follows. A pause that lasts more than waiting for a train in Romania. Well, not that much, but that's how it feels. It's eating me up to know what he'll say next and… "Fine. Where are you?"

"At my brother's place. I-I'll give him on the phone," I say and hand the phone to my brother, blatantly refusing to look at him or even show my face for that matter. He takes is, tsking on the background.

"Kon speaking. Look you need to…" and my hearing simply shuts down. I drag my feet to the couch and simply drop dead on it, hoping to actually _die._ I must confess, I had a bad feeling the whole day, but I never expected this. "Here. Done. You can thank me later," Kon throws the phone on my back and goes to the kitchen. I growl in response.

"Fuck you. Fuck him. Fuck this. Fuck my life."

"You should make a song," Kon teases and sits on the chair he sat on earlier. I grumble in response. _Not in the mood, dude._ "Look, Ichigo, I don't know everything that went between the two of you, but in those pictures…damn. I've never seen you look so happy, so young…so you. You finally made a friend, and if you ask me, a friend worth keeping and now what? You push him away? Why did you do that?" his tone is softer, although still disappointed.

"It's…" I sigh. I can't. I just can't tell him anything because it sounds so stupid even to me! Kon is right, I am a huge dickhead.

"Ok. I get it. You have some things you don't want to tell me. Knowing you, you might not even want to admit them to yourself," he shakes his head and I look guiltily at the floor. What an interesting pattern! "Oh, man. I knew you were in denial. I don't know what you are denying in that stupid head of yours, but pull your head out of your ass, man!" he snaps in the end again. "I didn't mean to shout, but I am drunk so sue me," he rolls his eyes. "I don't care what you are so busy denying yourself…maybe you are afraid of making friends, trusting people, hurting them…I dunno. But, it's just a hunch; I think it is something that has to do with dad…"

"How…?" eyes wide, I ask him. He stops for a moment to check my face…

"Seriously? Man, you gotta stop doing everything the old man wanted you to do. It's your life. Admit it, he's gone and while everyone is sad and yadda, yadda, yadda, you are free. Free to do whatever you _fuckin'_ want. So drop it. Do whatever makes you feel happy, 'cuz hell we both know you deserve it," I frown. "Even if you are a dick." I nod.

"Shirosaki said the same thing…" I catch myself saying and Kon raises his eyebrows.

"Well, see. He really is a good, intelligent friend. If you don't make up, I'll deny the fact that we are related, period." I chuckle nervously and he grins at me.

"What if he doesn't want to forgive me, though?" I ask all of sudden, panic taking over me. Soon, I am on my feet, pacing up and down the room.

"Whoa there, brother, calm down, he'll forgive you, no-…"

"But what if he _doesn't_?" I suddenly ask, looking him in the eye and his eyes go wide. He understands, I know he does understand that I actually care about Shirosaki, though I shouldn't. Though I don't even know him properly. But I care about him and I can't stop it. Sure, I can deny it all I want, but…

**KNOCK-KNOCK.**

Our heads snap in the direction of the door and I immediately start walking to open it. The next thing I see is a pair of pained and angry golden eyes. The wrath that is hold in them is almost breathtaking and for a second I freeze before him.

"Hi…umm…come in," I manage to mutter and step aside to let him in. He enters after a moment of hesitation. "Make yourself comfortable," I swallow hard and disappear in the kitchen, where I find my brother giving me a curious intense look.

"Take these and go to him, for fuck's sake. Since when are you such a girl? And I am the gay one…" I frown. "Well, I'll be in my room," and so he leaves.

I return to the living room and find Shirosaki standing in front of the large window, gazing at the street below. Even so, he does notice my presence and his head turns to left and…our eyes lock. The feeling I usually have whenever he is around comes back and suddenly I feel like I am in the same room with a surreal being that has forgotten how to age, that Death chose to ignore and both God and the devil banned from their realms. I release the breath I didn't realize I was holding and try to show him the cup of coffee as in an attempt to invite him to the couch, but I fail miserably. So I put the cup on the table next to the sofa and go straight to him. All this time, his gaze lingers on me, probably trying to decide whether to stay or leave.

"Shirosaki…" I start. Damn, this is turning into a drama. "I'm sorry. I know, hell, I know it's not enough. But hear me out, ok? I know this won't make you feel better, but…I was a dick. And I should have let you tell me everything and then I should have thanked you like there was no tomorrow and possibly repay you with a warm meal, a new Metallica CD or even a stroll on the fucking moon. Hell, nothing I could have done would have been enough to show my gratitude. Or I could have at least said thanks, friend," I sigh and he nods, "but I pushed you away instead. I hurt you. And I wish I could go back in time and change this," he frowns.

"Do ya regret meeting me?" he asks in a husky defensive voice, his eyes narrowing. I shake my head instantly.

"No. I don't regret meeting you. Hell, you're probably the best thing that has happened to me since…I don't even know since when," I laugh bitterly. "Shirosaki, thank you for putting up with me and sorry for…everything." I can't even hold his gaze anymore. Silence falls upon us and I think I know where this is going…he doesn't want to talk to me ever again. I screwed up and…And long cold fingers grab my chin and force me to look at him. I give him a puzzled look.

"Let's start over," he says simply and I blink. Once. Twice. What?! "Well, if you want that is…"

"Oh, God yes!" I quickly tell him. I can't believe my ears!

"But no more lies, Ichigo," he announces and I nod on an instant. "No, Ichigo. I don't think ya understand. If there is something bothering ya, ya tell me. If I do somethin' wrong, ya tell me. If I think there is something wrong with ya and there is, but you don't wanna say it, I don't care how ya do it, but ya tell me every _fuckin'_ thing. And I'll do the same, of course," Shirosaki stares at me with a serious steady gaze. "Deal?" he hold out his hand.

"Deal," I say and I shake it. Soon, his lips are curling in one of those full-of-himself grins and I find myself grinning back while I pull him into a backslap hug. I haven't even realized that I missed this bastard so much until now…Huh.

**POC!**

We both turn to look from where the noise came from and all we see is Kon with a smug look on his dumb face.

"Confetti! It's a parade!" he shouts and I roll my eyes. Of course he had to do something as stupid as that. Shirosaki, however, finds it amusing. "Now, bro, although I am happy for you, I wanna sleep…soooo…tootles!" he shoves us through the door and closes it, but not before giving us a final wink.

"Is he always like that?" Shirosaki asks all of sudden, still amused. I sigh then shrug.

"Huh." He shrugs back and we get going.

**To be continued…**


End file.
